Booked this cruise because of the low price for an inside cabin. Recognizing that Conquest is an older ship lacking many bells and whistles, I realized that some wear and tear may be present; however, filth is another matter entirely.
The floors of the lido buffet were consistently sticky, slippery, and visibly dirty, regardless of the time of day. Grime was visible on all elevator buttons (when you could find a button that worked). Hair, bugs (both living and dead), and dust were common on window sills across the ship.
Dining ranged from mediocre at best to downright terrible. Typically I enjoy visiting the steakhouse, but between being swindled into paying for a bottle of wine that should have been free - our assistant waitress insisted that Carnival does not offer complimentary wine on the first night of the sailing and thus charged us, this was later rectified by speaking to the head waiter - and an inedible steak, I was left disappointed. Portions in the dining room were exceedingly small, nor was any customization available due to pre-prepared food. For example, my wife does not like cocktail sauce and prefers her shrimp plain. It was not possible to have shrimp without cocktail sauce drizzled over it since it was already prepared. Likewise, the vegetarian option was the same every night, quite frustrating for my vegetarian wife.
While I certainly understand Carnival as the "Fun Ship" line, many fellow guests took the fun too far. The muster drill lasted over 40 minutes due to a group choosing to play a game of hide-and-go-seek. Forty minutes standing in the Miami heat was not enjoyable. On several occasions we witnesses intoxicated guests wandering the promenade during the dinner hour with no shirt or shoes on with no crew asking them to cover up, at least for the sake of hygiene.
The highlights of this cruise were the ports of call - Grand Cayman, Honduras, Belize, and Mexico. The staff at the Alchemy Bar were also warm, hospitable, and engaging. Despite this, I can firmly say that this was our last cruise with Carnival. Standards have slipped greatly. From now on, we'll pay the premium to cruise Celebrity instead.
One of the few clean places we found on the ship. Small, as expected, but in need of some serious TLC. Several large chunks taken out of the floors and walls.