We've been on cruises before and we were really looking forward to our holiday. I'm a food & travel writer & I travel a lot. No exaggeration, it's the worst holiday experience that I've ever had in my life! Embarking, they x-rayed our bag & tried to take our bottles of wine. 'You must buy your wine on board,' we were told. I told him to get lost & we walked away. We hardly slept at all due to the undisciplined kids yelling & racing up & down the corridor, banging doors till late at night, then early in the morning. Afternoon nap? No way! It was impossible! How about a swim? Every pool was crammed full of yelling, splashing kids. I wouldn't trust my child in there! You wouldn't be able to see if anything happened to them. We'd been promised a kid-free trip as they would be back at school.

The ship holds nearly 5,000 passengers, plus the crew & staff. But there aren't enough seats or tables at the horrendous buffet, which starts at about 12.30 & finishes at 3 - when most of the passengers are ashore! There's no choice of restaurants in the evening. We called it the Cattle Battle; wall-to-wall people, all pushing & shoving. Don't believe me? come & see the burn marks up our arms & the stains down our clothes from spilt coffee, available from one urn! I can picture my poor husband, battling through the mob, struggling to hold on to the cups of coffee. Oh the despair on his face!

The water dispensers are switched off after meals & you can't drink the water in the cabin. In the evening, the restaurant is miles away from the kitchen & all the food is cold & stuck to the plates. And the chef only knows how to make mashed potato, day after day! I sent most meals back & then the replacements. I was really afraid of food poisoning. I went to bed hungry most nights. One night I was chewing on a piece of dry bread that I brought from our Palma meal. Read more