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This was the first, and probably last, cruise of my life. Overall it was just mediocre, and in the future I think I will stick to visiting all-inclusive resorts. Myself and my girlfriend (mid-30s) plus my family on the trip. Some details: Embarkation: We arrived around 1 p.m. and got through security pretty quickly and easily except that my group got separated and one half of us didn't have the necessary boarding papers. But that was our fault, not Carnival's, so I won't hold that against them. The safety drill was poorly timed because we missed seeing the ship set sail, and also it was hot and humid and we were crammed like cattle three deep. And it took an hour right after we arrived when all we wanted was to finally relax and get some food, so that was frustrating. My girlfriend had a minor panic attack getting stuck in that hot crowd. Debarkation: We had a 2 p.m. flight so we were in no hurry to exit the boat, and by the time we did so, we made it through pretty easily. There were still huge lines but they moved quickly and it was fairly straightforward. Ship: The ship seemed dated. I'm not sure how old it is, but I swear it felt like I was in a 1970s Vegas casino. From the outside, you could see rust that I didn't notice on other cruise ships at various ports. Parts of the ship just seemed worn. The decor was dated. The ship seemed strangely dark on the inside. Cabin: Review is below Dining: One thing they did well was food. We did not go into this expecting Michelin-rated meals, and as long as you temper your expectations, you won't be disappointed. I would say the food was roughly Applebees quality. I tried to get the various local seafood options at dinner and those were always tasty and well-done. The service could be a bit slow, but we were with family so it was fine, gave us time to talk and catch up. The dances they make the poor wait staff perform were silly and unnecessary and added nothing but wait time. Other than dinner, there are plenty of options. Like I said, don't expect the world, but you also won't go hungry. It's fine. Entertainment & Activities: I attended some things. Karaoke is just like karaoke anywhere. Trivia was random. I'm a sports fan, but the sports trivia could be stupid difficult, like, who won the 1972 gold medal in fencing? Are you kidding me?! The casino was smoky and the payouts were poor, but if you have some money to burn it can be fun. The shows in the theater were pretty fun. You just have to give them a chance, because the descriptions of each made the shows sound like they would be lame. But they were surprisingly good. Otherwise, the entertainment team does what entertainment teams do, and try to spice up an otherwise basic pool day. Service: Our room porters and cleaners did a fine job. No complaints, and I was impressed that our porter learned our name the first day and called us by our names the rest of the way. Dining service could be slow, but they got the orders right at least. Leigh the entertainment leader was fantastic, and should be a game show host on TV. Misc costs: I feel like Carnival tries to nickel-and-dime you to death on this cruise. Every single thing costs money. Drinks that aren't water-based, $$. Rent a lounger on Half Moon Cay, which Carnival owns, $$. Wifi, $$ (speaking of, this was particularly annoying. I know we're on a cruise ship, so I don't expect the wifi to be strong and high-quality, but it should be free. I don't like being disconnected from the world for a week or having to pay outrageously for something that even airports give away). They also heavily promote their various on-board shops, and they try to make them sound like great bargains because they're tax-free, but the prices are outrageous and you get a better deal back on land even with the taxes. The casino payouts are tiny when you win. Drinks are over-priced and under-liquored. And on and on. Like I talk about below, it was like living in a Walmart for a week. Ports and excursions: The beaches and landscapes were, as you would expect, gorgeous and fantastic. The problem was all the people crowding them. I wish I knew more about each port prior to arrival (my fault) so that I could find a safe way to get away from the crowds and better enjoy the time. The two excursions we did - Snuba in Nassau and a catamaran/snorkel/drinking trip in Amber Cove, were the highlights of the trip. They were amazing and fun and too short. Miscellaneous: I don't know if it's because this is a budget cruise, but my fellow cruisers... let's just say it was like being trapped in a Walmart for a week. There were so many times I wanted to snap a photo of someone and send it to peopleofwalmart.com... Being my first cruise, I don't know if they're all like that or what, but it was funny and sad. There were a few instances of rude people, but nothing major, and it was never anything Carnival could have controlled. Overall: I'm glad I did a cruise finally, and I'm glad to know that I'm not a cruise person. Between the ship being dated, the mostly trashy and sometimes rude people aboard, the way the ship nickel-and-dimed you over every single thing, and the general mediocrity of it all, I just don't think it was worth it. If you can afford a nicer, more expensive cruise, I would recommend giving that a try. This one isn't really worth it unless you just want cheap.

First and probably last cruise

Carnival Conquest Cruise Review by superbrian83

3 people found this helpful
Trip Details
This was the first, and probably last, cruise of my life. Overall it was just mediocre, and in the future I think I will stick to visiting all-inclusive resorts. Myself and my girlfriend (mid-30s) plus my family on the trip.

Some details:

Embarkation: We arrived around 1 p.m. and got through security pretty quickly and easily except that my group got separated and one half of us didn't have the necessary boarding papers. But that was our fault, not Carnival's, so I won't hold that against them. The safety drill was poorly timed because we missed seeing the ship set sail, and also it was hot and humid and we were crammed like cattle three deep. And it took an hour right after we arrived when all we wanted was to finally relax and get some food, so that was frustrating. My girlfriend had a minor panic attack getting stuck in that hot crowd.

Debarkation: We had a 2 p.m. flight so we were in no hurry to exit the boat, and by the time we did so, we made it through pretty easily. There were still huge lines but they moved quickly and it was fairly straightforward.

Ship: The ship seemed dated. I'm not sure how old it is, but I swear it felt like I was in a 1970s Vegas casino. From the outside, you could see rust that I didn't notice on other cruise ships at various ports. Parts of the ship just seemed worn. The decor was dated. The ship seemed strangely dark on the inside.

Cabin: Review is below

Dining: One thing they did well was food. We did not go into this expecting Michelin-rated meals, and as long as you temper your expectations, you won't be disappointed. I would say the food was roughly Applebees quality. I tried to get the various local seafood options at dinner and those were always tasty and well-done. The service could be a bit slow, but we were with family so it was fine, gave us time to talk and catch up. The dances they make the poor wait staff perform were silly and unnecessary and added nothing but wait time. Other than dinner, there are plenty of options. Like I said, don't expect the world, but you also won't go hungry. It's fine.

Entertainment & Activities: I attended some things. Karaoke is just like karaoke anywhere. Trivia was random. I'm a sports fan, but the sports trivia could be stupid difficult, like, who won the 1972 gold medal in fencing? Are you kidding me?! The casino was smoky and the payouts were poor, but if you have some money to burn it can be fun. The shows in the theater were pretty fun. You just have to give them a chance, because the descriptions of each made the shows sound like they would be lame. But they were surprisingly good. Otherwise, the entertainment team does what entertainment teams do, and try to spice up an otherwise basic pool day.

Service: Our room porters and cleaners did a fine job. No complaints, and I was impressed that our porter learned our name the first day and called us by our names the rest of the way. Dining service could be slow, but they got the orders right at least. Leigh the entertainment leader was fantastic, and should be a game show host on TV.

Misc costs: I feel like Carnival tries to nickel-and-dime you to death on this cruise. Every single thing costs money. Drinks that aren't water-based, $$. Rent a lounger on Half Moon Cay, which Carnival owns, $$. Wifi, $$ (speaking of, this was particularly annoying. I know we're on a cruise ship, so I don't expect the wifi to be strong and high-quality, but it should be free. I don't like being disconnected from the world for a week or having to pay outrageously for something that even airports give away). They also heavily promote their various on-board shops, and they try to make them sound like great bargains because they're tax-free, but the prices are outrageous and you get a better deal back on land even with the taxes. The casino payouts are tiny when you win. Drinks are over-priced and under-liquored. And on and on. Like I talk about below, it was like living in a Walmart for a week.

Ports and excursions: The beaches and landscapes were, as you would expect, gorgeous and fantastic. The problem was all the people crowding them. I wish I knew more about each port prior to arrival (my fault) so that I could find a safe way to get away from the crowds and better enjoy the time. The two excursions we did - Snuba in Nassau and a catamaran/snorkel/drinking trip in Amber Cove, were the highlights of the trip. They were amazing and fun and too short.

Miscellaneous: I don't know if it's because this is a budget cruise, but my fellow cruisers... let's just say it was like being trapped in a Walmart for a week. There were so many times I wanted to snap a photo of someone and send it to peopleofwalmart.com... Being my first cruise, I don't know if they're all like that or what, but it was funny and sad. There were a few instances of rude people, but nothing major, and it was never anything Carnival could have controlled.

Overall: I'm glad I did a cruise finally, and I'm glad to know that I'm not a cruise person. Between the ship being dated, the mostly trashy and sometimes rude people aboard, the way the ship nickel-and-dimed you over every single thing, and the general mediocrity of it all, I just don't think it was worth it. If you can afford a nicer, more expensive cruise, I would recommend giving that a try. This one isn't really worth it unless you just want cheap.
superbrian83’s Full Rating Summary
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Cabin Review

Balcony
Cabin 8F 8445
Felt small, but I guess it was the same as all the others. It's right below the soft serve ice cream machine, so all day and night you hear people pulling in and pushing out chairs and scratching the floor, making a terrible racket. I ended up sleeping with my head taco'd between two pillows to drown out the noise of those chairs. It's also very easy to hear either of your neighbors when they're on their balcony. I guess overall it wasn't a terrible room, but it was far from great. The people servicing the room kept it clean and did a good job.
Spa Deck Balcony Cabins

Port & Shore Excursion Reviews