As a true veteran cruiser, I had never stepped foot on a Carnival vessel. Those who know me well know I never travel on Carnival. Sure, I know about the product, who doesn't, but actually trying one was the result of a lost bet. Yes, I lost a bet with a friend who was going on a cruise; this cruise. My penalty as the looser was to actually go with him on this voyage. Again, for those who know me, this was a horrible price to pay. Since I honor my bets, I reluctantly purchased my own room at the last minute. Not much was left at the late date (3 weeks) so I settled for what was available, at minimum a window view. I set my expectations at an all time rock bottom. Most of my closest associates, friends and family were laughing at me on this one and rightly so.PORTSI have been to Nassau, Bahamas and Freeport scores of times so I wont comment on these ports other than to say that they are common ports. The island truck-stop of lower end cruises. Atlantis is an overblown, overrated place and I've never understood the attraction of visiting an island to see a modern hotel. Charleston's port needs work. It is not cruise friendly. When we returned, it was a cold raining day and the dirt floor area of the limo pick-up was under a plastic tent in a sea of mud because it was not paved. Rolling luggage a mess.THE SHIPThe Fantasy is pushing 22 years old. It is old style glitzy like a cheap Vegas hotel not on the strip. Combine this with remodeled tacky and the faux cheesy, the flawed and the poorly designed and worn and you have an unattractive, out of date, out of vogue vessel with 10,000 coats of paint over rust and new carpet. The traditional promenade deck space is narrow. I've been on must older ships that put this one to shame. Passengers on this cruise weren't the least bit interested in the "ship" and knew little about cruising. CARNIVALI must say, in deepest sincerity and humility, that this class of ship or cruise line is not for me. This review may be cruel to some but it is my review and the opinion of but one. I have always held a long standing and deep seated disdain for Carnival because of what their product and culture has done to the once glorious cruise world over the years. Their culture is a corporate buy-out culture and they have reduced many a great line to clones of their disrespect. However, it was not until this cruise that I fully understood the depth and the magnitude of why I stay so passionately far away from this line. APPEALI had no idea how common, common could be. This was, without a shadow of a doubt, the lowest of the low in all cruise-dom for me. It is unquestionably a cruise for the very budget minded and while there is nothing wrong with a budget, other than it being a low budget; it does attract a certain element that I find unpleasant. At the Captain's cocktail party or whatever they called it on this particular ship, there were dollar off cocktails. A first. Most Captain's parties give at least one glass of something, even if it's cheap.FELLOW PASSENGERSYes, it is Carnival and it is a "Fun Ship" only if this is one's idea of fun. Clearly it attracts the very rowdy, the wild, the uncivilized, the loud mouthed and tacky, the common, the foul mouthed, the buffet gluttons, the meat and three crowds, the uneducated, the untraveled and the ultra-budget vacationer. I saw families of four crammed into rooms that were the size of my bedroom closet. Most passengers looked like they shopped at either Ghetto-Fabulous or Bubba's Second Hand-Me-Down store. There were tattooed people galore; many with offensive body piercings. There were loads of thug-types wearing do-rags with sagging pants. Then there was the buffet crowd. Some half naked women were the size of Buicks and proud of it. Their significant others looked like they just got out of the county jail that morning. They had the nerve to be arrogant and abusive. Some of the most uncouth passengers I have ever seen at sea and I've been cruising the world since 1976. A ship employee told me the previous week was far worse. I can't imagine. STATEROOMThe stateroom was a little dusty, smudged windows and obviously rarely fully cleaned. The air is on constant freezing mode with no thermostat control. This must be for those always hot I suppose. The TV is simple with limited channels compared to other lines. The staff, while smiling and friendly, are not going to go much beyond that. For an old ship, the room was ample for one person, but only ample. The bed and bedding was comfortable and the location was fine even though I was below the strength deck which I never am. It is an extremely smoking friendly ship because you can smoke just about anywhere save the dining room. Well over 50% were smokers.ENTERTAINMENTThe theater revues and shows are very good and extremely well done. The late night comedy is typical, vulgar and cheap. No major talent there. The amateur night is pure torture from popular to right wing religious. Plenty affection and support for the patriotic a la southern style. Casino was average. No club or lounge was not loud. RELAXATIONThere was no peace, no quiet, no solitude anywhere on board other than in my stateroom at night, if I was lucky. That Serenity relaxation deck is a joke. It is neither serene no relaxing. Go for morning coffee ? You are met with blasting Reggae first thing in the morning. Loud, loud, loud. If you're looking for string quartets or Chopin piano forget it. That music is non existent. Fantasy doesn't believe in peace and quiet anywhere. They believe in selling, not sailing. It is a flea-market of sales and marketing. A blitz of drink pushing and picture taking. A relentless vacuum of cash. A floating cash cow complete with yelling drunk crowds, packs of teens running around everywhere at all hours through halls and a general frat-house atmosphere. The worn-out cruise director, asked passengers to remember that we were young once and to look past this inconvenience. FOOD, DINING, BUFFETSDining is low grade. The dining room decor deceives. It looks almost old world for a second, considering the two decade old design, but the menus and the presentations are pedestrian and lack creativity. The food quality is poor; very poor. The beef they serve is as tough and as choice as mass buying power can muster. No prime cuts here. The vegetables are the same regardless of the entree. They had lobster on night two, but that was the only highlight other than greasy escargot. The soups are surprisingly excellent but the rest of the courses are below average, simple and uncreative. The desserts are as boring as they are cheap. The wait staff is average and are not going out of their way to impress. One waiter told a guest, it's too late to ask for a second dish of ice cream at lunch. "You should have asked earlier." he said with a smirk. The waiters lack clarity in their English skills. Though they try hard to communicate while attempting to make up for what is basically a bad product (by replacing dishes with other selections) there is only so much they can do. Plenty of cowboy hats, Baseball caps, Nascar caps and vulgar t-shirts. There is no escape from this room other than the cafeteria buffet which is similar to any cheap land based cafeteria. There is no specialty restaurant, nothing is gourmet and I doubt many on board would appreciate it or pay more for it. There are no formal nights and no formal wine stewards and the wine selection is abysmal. This is the worst food yet. If fine dining and five star service is your love, as it is mine, then you are "lost at sea" for 5 days. Forget it. Buffets at lunch were hamburgers, hot dogs, pizzas and tacos along with various salads and cold cuts. Breakfast is breakfast. In my dining room (one of two) the nightly nonsense of Gabriel, the much celebrated restaurant Maitre D, was not something I am accustomed to on lines I usually travel. Gabriel's regularly scheduled interruption of the main course with his boisterous microphone "HELLOOOOOOOoo" His hip-hop music, dancing, lights being turned out to blaring club music and his endless demanding of responses via audience participation was disgusting and was sure to ruin an already unpalatable dinner. Gabriel may be a clown in the dining room but in person he was rather cold and rude when attempting to make pleasant conversation while trying to get a table seating change on boarding day. I did not find him amusing in the least. CONCLUSIONUsually I am sad as a cruise draws to it's close even after years of sailing, transatlantic crossings and cruises. Not this time. I rejoiced it was history when we docked. After reflecting later in the week I realized that my typical cruises normally cost 8-10 times more than this cruise cost. The end result ? You get what you pay for. It goes without say that I will never place such a wager again. This cruise is now over, but never forgotten. What I experienced was nothing short of an uncultured, uncivilized and unrefined five days with passengers who seemed right at home with this style of cruising. If you scramble the word FANTASY is can spell F.Y. SATAN.