Trailer Park at Sea
This past week I embarked on my first, and unless this cruise is different in some way than others, my last cruise. I went on a Royal Caribbean cruise and I am in fact, lying under a stained cruise ship cabin ceiling, wondering what on earth could cause stains on the ceiling above my lovely twin bed.
This completely forgettable and unremarkable trip started with waiting and waiting for your suitcase to arrive. After a few hours of the incessant waiting, I received a call stating I would need to report to the baggage areas as I had contraband in my bag. Contraband being a small travel steam iron with an automatic shut off to prevent any burn mishaps. I am lead to a dark, dank area where several people are waiting to open my bag with my underwear showing to dig through and increase wrinkling of my clothing to retrieve this contraband. Evidently on a cruise of this kind EVERYTHING must be bought from the cruise line. It can’t be because the tiny steam iron is dangerous, because all it is, is a one sided hair flat iron, which by the way can be used as a clothing iron if you are smart. But oh no you must pay someone to iron/steam your clothes, or use the internet or your own phone. My phone is even unable to text from without their package. It became even more obvious that the “internet” you receive is not data at all. You MUST buy the internet offered onboard the ship. I discovered this when early one morning I received a burst of text messages including one from my own carrier. These bursts of messages come as you near land and civilization. One of these texts was from my own carrier regarding my own data plan that I chose and pay for on a monthly basis as part of my cellular plan. Out of curiosity I clicked on the plan wondering why it totally failed to work on board. I was immediately routed to the onboard cellular provider instead of my own. This lead me to to surmise any data or roaming plans you have are not just unavailable, but blocked by the ship’s plan. Isn’t this piracy of a sort? You pick your plan, you pay for your plan; then go on vacation and are told nope, you MUST use ours and pay dearly for it. It Everything onboard is all at a price and it’s a premium price. You may be led to believe that some things are “inclusive” but it’s a myth that anything is included.