The absolute worst thing about this cruise is that Scenic apparently has a "don't ask, don't tell" policy with regards to COVID. I know that this issue has been politicized and that there is a broad spectrum of what people believe and are willing to do, but a total hands-off attitude is unacceptable to me. There is no testing required of passengers prior to boarding, either by the passengers or Scenic and no temperatures are taken at any time. Some of the passengers had been on a pre-trip land tour for five days prior to boarding and some of these people were quite obviously sick. Some of the ill stayed in their cabins, but their companion didn't. Some of the sick did not isolate and even participated in excursions. The virus continued to spread and by the last full day of the cruise my wife came down with COVID. Given the closeness of a river boat, and the lack of alternative dining venues, Scenic should have taken minimal precautions. Instead, they took none.

We chose this cruise, generally, as a replacement for one we'd booked with another company that was cancelled due to COVID. We chose Scenic, specifically, because we liked the all-inclusive aspect and the generally good reviews. We were in one of the two Royal Panorama Suites at the stern (I'm going to attach photos, though this is the first review I've ever posted on cruisecritic and am not sure how easy they will be to find). The view was very striking between the floor to ceiling windows on the stern and the floor to ceiling views on most of the starboard side. There are a few issues with the suite configuration: first, if you drive an SUV or pickup truck, you've experienced the effect of aerodynamic drag on the back windows - they get dirty due to the lack of air flow over the windows. That's the case with the stern windows on this boat - they were dirty. Second, if you drive an SUV, and have read the owner's manual, you'll have noted that it warns against driving with the tailgate open because carbon monoxide will be sucked in by the drag. That's precisely why we couldn't have the door to the veranda open while the boat was in motion. I'm not sure how much carbon monoxide we were getting, but we were getting enough diesel fumes to make it very uncomfortable at times, even with the windows and veranda door closed. There is some vibration and noise that others have complained about, but it didn't bother us. Third, in order to turn the TV so it could be viewed from the bed one has to pull the entire wall out! It's hinged next to the mini fridge and is on small wheels that don't roll all that easily on the carpet, plus it takes up a not insignificant amount of space in the suite. The bed was comfortable, but the pillows were not even though we'd ordered different ones. The only one that had a modicum of support was very, very small. In addition to the bed, there was a small table and two kitchen-style chairs. I laughed when our butler (he was very attentive and one of the positive aspects of the cruise) came around the first day and told us he could bring extra hors d'oeuvres if we wanted to have friends in. He didn't have an answer when I asked where everyone would sit. The Junior Suites have seating for four and feel larger, even though they're not. There was enough storage room for clothing, though no extra room. The bathroom was large, but it had a lot of wasted space and there was not enough space for all of a couple's toiletries. The towels and washcloths were laughably thin and shabby. Many of the towels had numerous strings hanging from them and on the last full day we got a bath towel that had a large rip on the edge and a pretty large hole in the middle (I'm attaching a photo of it laying on my suitcase). The room steward did a very good job as did the cocktail waitress in the evenings before dinner. There was precious little in the way of enrichment or entertainment. I remember one lecture that we elected to watch from our room - watch being the operative word in this case. We could get the video, but no sound. I called the front desk and was informed that all we could get was video and not sound! One wonders why they even bother with a dedicated channel.

Entertainment was a guy playing the piano some, but not all, evenings for a relatively short period of time. Food is always one of the things I look forward to on a cruise and I have never been more disappointed than on this one. The food varied in quality, but it was remarkable in the small portions - at times I wondered if the chef had previously worked at one of the residential health spas. One evening the waiter was pushing a prawn dinner, so I ordered it. I regret I didn't take a photo because it was three medium size shrimp covering shredded vegetables - I mean covering since all the vegetables would have fit in a soup spoon. I've never even had a shrimp cocktail with so few shrimp! One night I ordered the scallops appetizer and got one the size of an American penny (photo attached). Strangely, another person at my table got two and another one got three, so go figure. Near the start of the cruise the chef would come around at dinner and ask how the food was. One evening one of our dining companions told him the fish tasted old and he argued with her about that! That's totally unacceptable. Scenic should have a policy that the customer is always right, even when they're wrong. I'll end on some positive notes: the laundry service was great, and we enjoyed a 12-hour turnaround. The excursion guides were good, but cruising is no way to really get a feel for a place, but that's true of 99% of cruises. If you've made it this far, my thanks for reading.