Some important bullet points:
--The COVID tests on board were clearly not performed professionally or with the intent to garner accurate results. The very edge of my nostrils were swabbed for split seconds all four times I was tested aboard. NCL hires a company called Eurofins, and its job is clearly to ensure that COVID cases aren't reported, or at least not at particularly revenue-sensitive junctures.
--Customer service (before cruise) and guest services (during) were atrocious, and I have very low expectations from either being a highly experienced cruiser. I am used to inept and rude. This went beyond that.