This was not the first of the shore excursions that I booked but it was first on the agenda. Our adventure here is a prime example of how Lexy can sometimes overlook BIG details. Somehow, when I read the description of this excursion, which was "Island Panoramic", somehow my demented brain assumed this was by sea. I don't know why. There is no reason for that. Nothing in the word panorama implies ocean but my brain went there nonetheless. So, I had an expectation of us with the boys on a boat for a few hours, soaking up the sun and shoreline. It wasn't until the night before that I re-read the description and realized that it was on a bus. OK, on a bus for 4 hours with the kids was EXACTLY what I wanted to avoid. So that morning I prepared myself for the worst. I brought multiple bottles of water and snacks. I brought Tylenol. I stopped at the notion of lugging around the portable video players but only because my purse (OK it is really a diaper bag- I'm a mom) already felt like concrete had been poured in the bottom. As it turned out, it wasn't great, but it could have been much worse. The tour itself was too long and tried to encompass the whole island..which is I guess what they meant by panoramic. The result was that it ended up being quite boring in stretches between towns and cities. OK, I will be honest, it was also fairly boring in some of the towns and villages. The tour guide seemed to have a bit of an inferiority complex because she kept going on and on and on about the fact that Malta was SO SMALL At one point, she was discussing football (soccer) and she said that Malta got to play Italy or something. And that they lost, but not by too much and that they were so proud just to be able to play them. It went on like this. I found it a bit depressing. I also got fairly tired of her pointing out petite strawberry fields and live stock. Really, more than once we got "on the right side of the bus you will see a goat". Whoopee. Even the kids were bored at this point. We did stop to see the Blue Grotto, which was really lovely. Apparently there was a boat trip that took you there, but I believe it was a non kid thing. We also stopped at the old harbor where we found a cute little playground for the boys. They really enjoyed this. And we got a cool picture of Lucas with a Maltese Falcon as we were heading back to the bus. This is one of the stops that I think would have been much better if we had done a little homework before hand and just gone out in Valletta ourselves. That was pretty much the take away for most of the planned "family" excursions. 


Malta (Valletta)

OK, I will take a deep breath. This was advertised as basically 2 hours at a private resort, on a private beach in Tunisia. I will point out that they said "private" several times in the description. The ride to and from the resort was supposed to be only 20 minutes. This fit nicely with all my family criteria and, after forcing the kids to be on a bus in Malta, it seemed like a good opportunity for them to run around and for us to lie in the sand and watch them run around. Not a @#@*ing chance. The ride to the resort was, in truth, only 20 minutes and the walk to the bus had some nice exotic looking scenery despite the overcast skies. Once we got there, the hotel was huge and extremely empty. It was actually had a creepy, echoey, "the Shining" kind of feel. It was also quite a hike from the hotel lobby out to the beach, which required constantly pulling Lucas away from all the attractive nuisance items along the way...bugs, flowers, sand, small bits of rock. But all this was quasi normal and no real problem. The problem was when we got to the beach. I don't know if they have different translations for the word "private" and that is how wires got crossed but suffice it to say that this was NOT a private beach. This was the antithesis of a private beach...this was a beach with VENDORS! And not vendors offering you drinks and sun umbrellas. These were the "here you must have this spotted clay ashtray" type of vendors. We had not been at the beach for more than 3 minutes when some guy came up to me and said "You are the most beautiful of the women here. Your husband is lucky. I would gladly offer 4000 camels for you". I kid you not, he actually said this. Really, it sounded like some movie cliché. Perhaps he meant it as a complement to butter me up to buy something but, if so, he had a poor understanding of western women. Then he proceeded to harass Julien by saying that if he had such a fine wife then he would surely be buying her things. When Julien ignored him, he started telling me that French men are notoriously cheap. I don't even know what he was selling. It was some brightly colored piece of pottery like substance. Just so our children wouldn't feel left out of the hard core sell, they had horses and camels right next to us on the beach....right next to us. This meant that when I wasn't being harassed by vendors, I was chasing Lucas away from the front end of fairly nasty looking horses and camels. Or I was chasing Seb away from back end and feet of said horses and camels. OR I was trying to keep Seb from eating the horse and camel poop that was strewn all over the beach. I don't think I succeeded on that last bit. When Seb wasn't trying to get trampled or eat camel poop, he was trying to climb some old wooden drift wood thing that might have been designed to be a play structure but was certainly covered in splinters. So, after about 20 minutes of this, most of the sensible people from the group had retreated to the pool area. We didn't, mainly because we are both fairly stubborn, but also because I suspected that the pool would be even colder than the water and even less monitored. From discussions with other parents, I found out that I was right. It was quite a relief when we realized that the two hours were finally up. I will say that Disney made good on this, I called and made a verbal complaint and filled out the requested comment card. Within 24 hours someone had called to thank us for providing input and to inform us our money would be refunded. Apparently, this was a fairly new excursion for them. In retrospect, I can only wonder at their choice of destination. Tunis doesn't have that much that is exciting for families of young ones. Perhaps they wanted a harbor so that we didn't have to tender but, really, I would have preferred tendering in a nice harbor with a nice beach. And voila. I would not go on this excursion again. Nor would I go on another planned excursion there, as I heard NO positive feedback about any of the Tunisia excursions. I might consider going to the markets with just Julien, but not even sure about that. In short, this excursion and port was neither worth your time or money. Stay on the ship!! That being said, when we came back Lucas said "I LOVE TUNISIA". It must have been the camels...go figure. 


Tunis (La Goulette)

By this point in the cruise, I was LOVING the ship, and about to give up on the excursions. Malta was OK. Tunisia was bad. But this day was a better prospect. We had booked the Nursery all day, and dropped Lucas at his "club" so that Julien and I could do this one by ourselves. I am so glad that we did because it made up for the other two. We started the excursion in a bus, as usual. The ride to the volcano was OK, but not fantastic. The tour guide seemed to think a little too highly of herself for my tastes (hmm, it is looking like I just don't like tour guides). However, once we got to the volcano itself, things took a fairly steep upward turn. We were taken most of the way up to the crater in 4 x 4 jeeps that looked like leftover army vehicles. The final bit of the climb we did on foot. The view was incredible and the volcanic rocks, stones and soil were so multi colored that I occasionally felt like I had fallen into some 60's flashback. Once we got to the crater, it was amazing to look down into the mouth of this sleeping god and realize the power that simmered there. It was a little like falling in love. We got some fairly cool videos of the steam coming out of vents in the crater as well as the obligatory photos of us in front of it but none of this captures the feel of the place. It is a visceral thing that you just have to experience. I must admit that I, like roughly 4,000,999,993 tourists before me, took a few stones away. I rationalize this by the fact that I left some coins on the ground as a kind of payment. Yeah, I'm weird. When we were done with this, we loaded ourselves back into the tanks, and went down the crater to a vineyard that was actually on one side of the mountain. It was quite a small place, but as we all crowded off the bus, I noticed that the owner had hung the flags of various countries in front of the building. It was a sweet touch. While there, we had the opportunity to sample numerous wines that he produced. Even though this was not a restaurant, he also provided food in the form of large bowls of pasta. This was served by a very serious looking Italian man, who was quite strict with his manners. When Julien held his plate out for more pasta, he said that you always serve the head of the house first, meaning me. The owner was clearly just a man who was proud of his vineyard and he gave us a history of it and his family, via the interpreter. There was no pressure to buy wine, or to do much of anything. It was truly lovely, and we were all pleasantly toasted when we were finished. They also had the forethought to provide lots of water, so I did not get the headache that I so often do with wine. Of course, with such a great experience, we bought 2 bottles of wine AND some olive oil. I hope Disney keeps working with this man, as this was such a warm reception. After finishing our wine and food, we all sauntered back to the bus and made our way to Pompeii. I must say that the weather gods had been very kind to us so far, and continued to be, as there was sudden cloud cover when we got to Pompeii. This cut the heat which was becoming a bit stifling. In truth, I don't remember too much about Pompeii with the exception of the temples and the brothel...but I figure that is good enough. Once again, a very strong feeling here that must be experienced. When we had finished in Pompeii, we had roughly 30 minutes in which to look for souvenirs outside before we left. After getting a coffee, we found a place that would MAKE you a pair of shoes. Not only could they do this, they did make me a lovely pair of sandals in less than 10 minutes. So I also had my chance to pay homage to the shoe gods. We went back to the ship very relaxed and happy. All in all, a great excursion. I would give it a 9 out of 10, which is really close to perfect coming from me. 


Naples

I booked this excursion because it was described a bit like "Go, Diego, Go". I figured that the kids would love it and, since it was only 3 hours, it would give them a chance to run around for a while. It turns out that I was fairly correct in all assumptions. The tortoise center had pretty much everything you would ever want to know about tortoises. It had big tortoises, little tortoises, tortoise babies and tortoise eggs. They also had a plethora of species and appearances. They even had one that looked a bit like a crocodile. As I said, everything you could ever want to know about tortoises...with the added benefit that it was apparently tortoise mating season. We saw no less than 7 tortoise porn shows. And they make noise..who knew? Unfortunately, they also look a little too much like you would imagine your grandfather would having sex...so the icky factor was high. Luckily, the kids didn't even seem to notice. Of all the kids there, I didn't hear one comment. Phew. It was short but fun for the kids and worth doing. In fact, it was the only planned family shore excursion we took that I would put in that category. 


Corsica (Ajaccio)

PERFUME As a late birthday present, Julien suggested that I go on this outing. It was described as going to a perfumery in Eze and having the opportunity to learn about perfume making, as well as the chance to compose your own perfume. As Perfume is one of my favorite books of all time, I was ecstatic at the prospect. Part of the present was that Julien would take care of the kids, and I would have some alone time. This particular harbor required that we "tender" e.g. take a ferry to the shore. I don't mind this, as it tends to lend itself to a more beautiful landscape. Once on the bus, it took us about 1.5 hours to get to the perfume factory. It SHOULD have taken about 30 minutes, but 10 minutes into the drive the driver got a call saying that the ONE person who was late had showed up. So, we had to go back for the ONE person. The traffic was nasty and the driver was none too happy. OK, none of us were too happy. When we had maneuvered our way back, the tour guide had to then go and find this person. So, finally some chick shows up on the bus with this sheepish "I'm sorry but aren't I cute" kind of smile. It makes one long for the days of tarring and feathering. She was clearly of the "high maintenance, think too much of myself" clan. But I digress. When we got to the perfumery, it turned out not to be just any perfumery but Fragonard. If you haven't heard of them, check it out. Quite impressive. We spent about an hour learning about the craft of making a perfume. After much hard work, I did end up crafting a fairly decent perfume, but for other people. Really. It smells great on other people. On me, it smells like grandma soap. But the experience itself was fabulous. We then toured the factory and got a chance to buy some real perfume in the shop. Afterward, we went down to the medieval town of Eze. When we got there, it was pouring rain, and rather than seeing yet another castle (my ex husband was Scottish and I have seen enough castles thank you very much), I chose to spend my time having not one, not two but three coffees at a local cafe. I was nicely buzzed when I returned to the bus. Here I encountered the only tour guide from the shore excursions that I really liked. We had a lovely conversation about the cruise industry and organized tours in general. I got some valuable insight for next time around. Then back to the boat. Overall another experience I would recommend. The only drawback was high maintenance woman, who remained high maintenance for the rest of the excursion....AND appears to have worked for Disney. (Disney...her name is Sarah....please fire her. Thank you. ) 


Villefranche

Overall good.  This was quite a large stateroom, as staterooms go.  One negative, it was RIGHT under the adults only clubs so there were a few nights where there was an annoying level of noise.

Ratings: Not covered below Disney Customer Service Line: *** (annoying grandma woman aside) Disney Cruise Line Website:* (their website sucks, don't get me started) Flounders Reef Hours:*** Flounders Reef staff and care: **** Hotel Boria Customer Service Line:** Hotel Boria:*** Nick Lesser:***** Iberia:**** The Ship ***** The Stateroom Attendant ***** The Pools *** The Oceaneers Clubs ***** The Character Experiences ***** Guest Services *So, for Christmas 2011, Sebastien, Lucas, Julien and Lexy Delorme will be joining "Auntie M" and "Uncle Bean" on the Disney Magic for the Western Caribbean Cruise.

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