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Carnival Miracle Review

4.0 / 5.0
Editor Rating
1319 reviews
5 Awards

Miracle - It'si a miracle this thing is allowed to operate

Review for Carnival Miracle to the Western Caribbean
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First Time Cruiser • Age 50s

Rating by category

Public Rooms
Fitness & Recreation

Additional details

Sail Date: Aug 2019
Cabin: Balcony

Seven six day cruise from Tampa - Grand Cayman - Roatan - Beleize - Cozumel - Tampa

This rust bucket of a boat shout be taken to the Mariana Trench and scuttled along with the crew. I have never had a more miserable disgusting experience in my entire life. But then again if you want a truly horrible experience with nasty crew, slop for food (brought some home for the dogs - they declined to eat it), a cess pool of bacteria in your cabin, fighting every day to try and get some miserable scraps to eat and being treated like a child, herded like sheep, talked down to and treated like a second class citizen, then this is the cruise for you.

Carnival - what a joke - are you guys serious. Our cruise got cut a day short due to weather conditions that never materialized. Not only did they have the audacity to cancel for reasons still oblivious to the some 2000 poor souls on board, but you also had the deceitfulness to try and tell us that it was for our own safety - Answer 1 simple question - How is dumping 2000 people in a port with no available hotels, flights all booked up, gas stations running out of gas and in the path of a hurricane, safe???? At this time we where 1500 miles away from the hurricane and heading to Cozumel. No - here's an idea, lets steam into Tampa, ruin everyone's cruise, keep everyone on board like prisoners for several hours at the dock and then rush them off and tell them it's their fault. Hurry and get the next passengers on board and steam right back to where we started. That way we can make more money - That's what it's about - The money. Maybe we weren't spending enough or running out, so you thought the next cruise would have fuller wallets. The captain and his cronies decided to have a Q & A session in the Phantom Theatre to sell this idea and avoid a mutiny. Lots of Q's and very little A's. Now there's a surprise. Where did they dig this captain up from? Davy Jones' Locker maybe? Personally I think he was the guy at the ice cream stand in Belize who was coshed on the back of the head and press ganged into joining Carnival 50 years ago. Is keel-hauling still done today? - I think I know candidate. Well at least that gave the Captain and his cronies the excuse to run and hide and never be seen for the next 2 days. Did they help anybody make arrangements - Offer free 'wifi' for people to make arrangements or provide any form of assurance - I'll tell you tomorrow - at least that's what they said... And as for the cruise director, he needs to go back to HSN at a 2.00am in the morning slot selling kitchenware to anyone who is drunk enough to use their credit card (Boop).

Cabin Review


Unsanitary - I now need de-loused

11 Helpful Votes

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