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This cruise was a bad idea from the start. Last time we went on Carnival 12 years ago and even then we thought that probably no more. But we really needed to get away this time and for many years wanted to visit Bermuda, so we decided to have no expectations whatsoever, and just relax and see the island. But this cruise was something else. To start, embarkation was ok, we came on time, went straight to the cabin and were shocked by the dilapidated state of the furniture and accessories, the shades were broken, the couch is stained, the window and door to the balcony so dirty you could not see through it. So I cleaned the room, the doors, the windows, the bathroom, but I still did not sit on that couch for the duration of the cruise, and tried to stay away from all surfaces. One day when mirrors were fogged, when we had the balcony door open, I saw all kind of had prints on every mirror in the room – must be a year at least of prints. We found discarded items from previous passengers, pill boxes under the bed. The same is true for every room and hall on this ship – it is dirty. Both my husband and I had terrible allergy attacks in the dirty cabin, and had to take antihistamine pills every day and buy more in Bermuda. Steward could not care less, I asked him to bring me a rope, it took a day, and when he did, it smelled of mold. One day the towels he changed were stained and torn. The drill was next, it started around 3 pm, standing in line for an hour in FL heat on the deck waiting for the drill. Captain did not wait until the end of the drill and started moving before it was over. So we were not able to have a going away party or see the shore from the top floor. This was just an opening act of the cruise where nothing was done on time. The crew behaved like it was their first cruise and they had no idea what to do and how the clock works. Captain’s toast was delayed by hour and a half without explanation or announcement. It was scheduled for 7 pm did not happen until 8:30; balloon drop scheduled for 9:15 was done at 9 instead when people were at dinner, and so on and so forth. There are no public places on this ship where you can just sit, relax, listen to music, the smoke is everywhere. The only through deck on the ship (deck 5) has a casino in the middle, the smoke is standing there, you cannot breath, and you cannot avoid going through there 10 times a day. Entertainment is nonexistent at best, and horrible the rest of the time. We could not find a thing to do on the ship for 8 days, tried to find any dance music, but all they have are terrible Cuban and calypso music on promenade, even when they played something tolerable, you cannot dance or stay there because of the smoke from the casino. So-called punch liners with their bodily function humor are tacky and not entertaining. Violinists on deck 3 were not told to stop playing when cruise director or captain is speaking, they would play louder so no one could hear the announcements. Singers and dancers are the worst I have seen in my over 30 cruises, 3rd rated Las Vegas strip club has better dancers that the once on the ship. The singing crew - wow - they should not be allowed to sing. In over 30 cruises that we took, we maybe missed 2 shows; this time we skipped 2 shows on purpose and left after 10 minutes of the other 2 shows - impossible intolerable cruelty on passengers to endure the screaming and screeching from the stage. The TV in the room is from the 19th century, no movies on demand, not even pay per view. Store selection is poor. This is the first cruise ever and the first trip abroad that we did not buy anything in the gift shops and did not bring any liquor back with us. The booze, watches, jewelry on the ship was more expensive than in regular US stores – first time ever. Everyone on the ship seems unhappy, crew is complaining all the time on long hours and being tired. Everyone is talking about when their contract ends and they go home. Very depressing. Now, the food. Food was terrible everywhere, no one cleans the tables at the buffet, and when they do, you have to clean them over again. I do not eat pizza, burgers, Mexican food, or any other junk, so I cannot rate these joints on board. But there was no food after 9:30 anywhere, no late night buffet, no deserts, no snack, no cookie, no ice cream ( I do not eat the chemical stuff they put into soft serve machines, would not consider it food). There is a coffee shop on board, so you can have coffee at least during the day because the cafeteria coffee is undrinkable. Buffet did not have any fresh choices, no berries, no fresh deserts, no good deserts either anywhere in 8 days. Terrible breakfast, to order cooks were out of pepper, tomatoes, mushrooms for omelets all the time. There would be a line of 10-12 people and he is making one omelet at a time on one skillet while 3 other people are standing nearby talking. Not once there was lox, white fish, herring, smoked fish served. No shrimps, no seafood for lunch or dinner at the buffet. I have not had anything tasty in 8 days, every time you go and eat, you think – why did I eat that? And how can I get it out of me fast? The second night was formal, so there was lobster at the restaurant; it was spoiled, I had stomach aches all night and the next day. Soups were terrible everywhere, how hard is it to have a consommé or chicken noodle soup? No vegetables were ever served anywhere but one day for lunch they had grilled zucchini and squash. In the restaurant when I asked to have vegetables, I would get 1 piece of broccoli or potatoes. We have noticed before that when chief is from India, the food is terrible, both in quality and choices. This was certainly true on this ship. On the last day at sea they decided to wash balconies - they wasted our last day on that and just spread the dirt all over. I can go over every day and every detail and cannot name one good thing from this cruise. This was our last cruise on carnival, it was terrible, and I never want to repeat it.

Why did I go on Carnival?

Carnival Conquest Cruise Review by dameofspace

3 people found this helpful
Trip Details
  • Sail Date: October 2018
  • Destination: Bermuda
  • Cabin Type: Balcony
This cruise was a bad idea from the start. Last time we went on Carnival 12 years ago and even then we thought that probably no more. But we really needed to get away this time and for many years wanted to visit Bermuda, so we decided to have no expectations whatsoever, and just relax and see the island. But this cruise was something else.

To start, embarkation was ok, we came on time, went straight to the cabin and were shocked by the dilapidated state of the furniture and accessories, the shades were broken, the couch is stained, the window and door to the balcony so dirty you could not see through it. So I cleaned the room, the doors, the windows, the bathroom, but I still did not sit on that couch for the duration of the cruise, and tried to stay away from all surfaces. One day when mirrors were fogged, when we had the balcony door open, I saw all kind of had prints on every mirror in the room – must be a year at least of prints. We found discarded items from previous passengers, pill boxes under the bed. The same is true for every room and hall on this ship – it is dirty. Both my husband and I had terrible allergy attacks in the dirty cabin, and had to take antihistamine pills every day and buy more in Bermuda. Steward could not care less, I asked him to bring me a rope, it took a day, and when he did, it smelled of mold. One day the towels he changed were stained and torn.

The drill was next, it started around 3 pm, standing in line for an hour in FL heat on the deck waiting for the drill. Captain did not wait until the end of the drill and started moving before it was over. So we were not able to have a going away party or see the shore from the top floor. This was just an opening act of the cruise where nothing was done on time. The crew behaved like it was their first cruise and they had no idea what to do and how the clock works. Captain’s toast was delayed by hour and a half without explanation or announcement. It was scheduled for 7 pm did not happen until 8:30; balloon drop scheduled for 9:15 was done at 9 instead when people were at dinner, and so on and so forth.

There are no public places on this ship where you can just sit, relax, listen to music, the smoke is everywhere. The only through deck on the ship (deck 5) has a casino in the middle, the smoke is standing there, you cannot breath, and you cannot avoid going through there 10 times a day.

Entertainment is nonexistent at best, and horrible the rest of the time. We could not find a thing to do on the ship for 8 days, tried to find any dance music, but all they have are terrible Cuban and calypso music on promenade, even when they played something tolerable, you cannot dance or stay there because of the smoke from the casino. So-called punch liners with their bodily function humor are tacky and not entertaining. Violinists on deck 3 were not told to stop playing when cruise director or captain is speaking, they would play louder so no one could hear the announcements. Singers and dancers are the worst I have seen in my over 30 cruises, 3rd rated Las Vegas strip club has better dancers that the once on the ship. The singing crew - wow - they should not be allowed to sing. In over 30 cruises that we took, we maybe missed 2 shows; this time we skipped 2 shows on purpose and left after 10 minutes of the other 2 shows - impossible intolerable cruelty on passengers to endure the screaming and screeching from the stage. The TV in the room is from the 19th century, no movies on demand, not even pay per view. Store selection is poor. This is the first cruise ever and the first trip abroad that we did not buy anything in the gift shops and did not bring any liquor back with us. The booze, watches, jewelry on the ship was more expensive than in regular US stores – first time ever.

Everyone on the ship seems unhappy, crew is complaining all the time on long hours and being tired. Everyone is talking about when their contract ends and they go home. Very depressing.

Now, the food. Food was terrible everywhere, no one cleans the tables at the buffet, and when they do, you have to clean them over again. I do not eat pizza, burgers, Mexican food, or any other junk, so I cannot rate these joints on board. But there was no food after 9:30 anywhere, no late night buffet, no deserts, no snack, no cookie, no ice cream ( I do not eat the chemical stuff they put into soft serve machines, would not consider it food). There is a coffee shop on board, so you can have coffee at least during the day because the cafeteria coffee is undrinkable. Buffet did not have any fresh choices, no berries, no fresh deserts, no good deserts either anywhere in 8 days. Terrible breakfast, to order cooks were out of pepper, tomatoes, mushrooms for omelets all the time. There would be a line of 10-12 people and he is making one omelet at a time on one skillet while 3 other people are standing nearby talking. Not once there was lox, white fish, herring, smoked fish served. No shrimps, no seafood for lunch or dinner at the buffet. I have not had anything tasty in 8 days, every time you go and eat, you think – why did I eat that? And how can I get it out of me fast? The second night was formal, so there was lobster at the restaurant; it was spoiled, I had stomach aches all night and the next day. Soups were terrible everywhere, how hard is it to have a consommé or chicken noodle soup? No vegetables were ever served anywhere but one day for lunch they had grilled zucchini and squash. In the restaurant when I asked to have vegetables, I would get 1 piece of broccoli or potatoes. We have noticed before that when chief is from India, the food is terrible, both in quality and choices. This was certainly true on this ship.

On the last day at sea they decided to wash balconies - they wasted our last day on that and just spread the dirt all over. I can go over every day and every detail and cannot name one good thing from this cruise. This was our last cruise on carnival, it was terrible, and I never want to repeat it.
dameofspace’s Full Rating Summary
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Cabin Review

Balcony
Cabin 8B 8241
Cabin was dirty, broken down stained furniture, dirty windows. Location on the ship is fine, easy to get to the center.
Empress Deck Inside Cabins, Balcony Cabins, Suite Cabins