Embarkation: Quick and easy. Port of Miami employees were friendly and helpful. Passengers: The person who penned Oceania brochure's "country club casual" dress code might want to spend some time on Regatta checking out the passengers' attire as "Costco casual" seems a more apt description. There was nothing country club, elegant or sophisticated about our fellow passengers. Most travelers fell into the 65-80 demographic and were split evenly between middle, upper-middle and upper classes. Most of the people I met were nurses, bank branch managers and property management employees rather than engineers, doctors and lawyers. While I enjoyed the diversity of passengers Oceania seems to somewhat misrepresent the experience based on brochure photos. Ports and excursions: St Kitts was canceled due to a passenger death and ensuing delay. Nassau was cut short due to a storm. Oceania should be required to post average number of ports missed per cruise. Note, other cruise lines will refund your unused port taxes. Oceania will NOT (seems highly unethical). Food: Passable if you like under-seasoned fare but certainly not fine dining. I informed Waves Grill staff that their french fries are seasoned with MSG. When they strongly denied my accusation I suggested they read the ingredient list and look up any unidentified items. Sure enough the fries contained MSG. I feel certain lots of other dishes were seasoned with MSG as well. Fruit was served underripe the first two days at sea. Pastry dough was oil rather than butter based. Breakfast potatoes were soggy, tasteless and an overall embarrassment. Toscana was fine. Polo was pathetic; you'll find more carefully prepared food in the buffet. Value: I received a spectacular deal on Vacations to Go ($1375pp for an oceanview) so no complaints here. I would have felt cheated had I paid full fare. Activities: Most were silly and poorly thought out. Indoor putting and bean bag toss belong at an eight-year-old's birthday party not on a pretend-elegant cruise. Mensa quiz questions were flawed to the extent I assumed they must be fraudulent. When I called Mensa headquarters I was informed that while they do have a contract with Oceania they suspect the cruise line is not carefully copying or transcribing the problems. For example, one quiz item supposedly contained a Fibonacci sequence only it didn't. Another question misrepresented a song lyric. The woman with whom I spoke at Mensa headquarters said her copy of the problem contained "..." to separate lyrics. Unfortunately the dots were removed from the Regatta's quiz sheet. Cabin: We were "upgraded" to a 143 sf E-class cabin that was too small to fit either a sofa or even a chair. My traveling companion noticed worn out hardware and frayed linen. Public Rooms: Perfect for a floating mortuary. Staff: Friendly and efficient except for the final day when buffet waiters neglected to remove plates. It seemed as though staff was ready for the party to end.

Oceania Regatta is pseudo luxury

Regatta Cruise Review by MikeandGabby

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Trip Details
  • Sail Date: April 2018
  • Destination: Caribbean
  • Cabin Type: Ocean View (obstructed view)
Embarkation: Quick and easy. Port of Miami employees were friendly and helpful.

Passengers: The person who penned Oceania brochure's "country club casual" dress code might want to spend some time on Regatta checking out the passengers' attire as "Costco casual" seems a more apt description. There was nothing country club, elegant or sophisticated about our fellow passengers. Most travelers fell into the 65-80 demographic and were split evenly between middle, upper-middle and upper classes. Most of the people I met were nurses, bank branch managers and property management employees rather than engineers, doctors and lawyers. While I enjoyed the diversity of passengers Oceania seems to somewhat misrepresent the experience based on brochure photos.

Ports and excursions: St Kitts was canceled due to a passenger death and ensuing delay. Nassau was cut short due to a storm. Oceania should be required to post average number of ports missed per cruise. Note, other cruise lines will refund your unused port taxes. Oceania will NOT (seems highly unethical).

Food: Passable if you like under-seasoned fare but certainly not fine dining. I informed Waves Grill staff that their french fries are seasoned with MSG. When they strongly denied my accusation I suggested they read the ingredient list and look up any unidentified items. Sure enough the fries contained MSG. I feel certain lots of other dishes were seasoned with MSG as well. Fruit was served underripe the first two days at sea. Pastry dough was oil rather than butter based. Breakfast potatoes were soggy, tasteless and an overall embarrassment. Toscana was fine. Polo was pathetic; you'll find more carefully prepared food in the buffet.

Value: I received a spectacular deal on Vacations to Go ($1375pp for an oceanview) so no complaints here. I would have felt cheated had I paid full fare.

Activities: Most were silly and poorly thought out. Indoor putting and bean bag toss belong at an eight-year-old's birthday party not on a pretend-elegant cruise. Mensa quiz questions were flawed to the extent I assumed they must be fraudulent. When I called Mensa headquarters I was informed that while they do have a contract with Oceania they suspect the cruise line is not carefully copying or transcribing the problems. For example, one quiz item supposedly contained a Fibonacci sequence only it didn't. Another question misrepresented a song lyric. The woman with whom I spoke at Mensa headquarters said her copy of the problem contained "..." to separate lyrics. Unfortunately the dots were removed from the Regatta's quiz sheet.

Cabin: We were "upgraded" to a 143 sf E-class cabin that was too small to fit either a sofa or even a chair. My traveling companion noticed worn out hardware and frayed linen.

Public Rooms: Perfect for a floating mortuary.

Staff: Friendly and efficient except for the final day when buffet waiters neglected to remove plates. It seemed as though staff was ready for the party to end.
MikeandGabby’s Full Rating Summary
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Cabin Review

Ocean View (obstructed view)
Cabin E 6033
143 sf. Not big enough for two people.
Deck 6 Inside Cabins, Outside Cabins, Balcony Cabins, Suite Cabins