Short and Sweet: Leave Long Beach on Friday the 13th (of November 2009). Weather was clear, mild 70s. 2 PM embarkation was easy - short lines, no waiting. Cabin M139 was roomy - fitted with 2 twins and an upper berth. Unpack, muse, ooh & awe - now up the Lido Deck for some food. Paris Restaurant had two buffet lines, each offering up lousy trans fats. Hamburgers, hot dogs, lasagna (yuck), fries, chicken tenders... LMAO! Finish eating, take a quick tour around ship - time to drink! Cocktails - superb. Off to the Normandie lounge for tailend of Welcome speech with friends. Muster Drill runs exceptionally long - head outside to find our lifeboat. Stumble our way to the Destiny dining room for an elegant 5 course meal. - What? We missed the "sail away" because we were at 6 PM dinner? Damn. - Delish main course arrives as we rock and roll our way to Mexico. - Whoa. Feeling a little queasy. Boat is really jumping now. - Hit the shows (Lowell you are 2 funny! JeRome, not so much) Dance at Rex - more drinks please - party off/on until 3 AM.

Saturday docked in Ensenada. $2 ride into town, $15 ride to La Bufadora. Totally worth it. Coastline was gorgeous, tour guide witty and full of facts. Great picture opp! Haggle with the locals, end up with bags of cheap shit. I'm happy. - Habana Banana has great enchiladas, strong margaritas and crooked waiters. - Weave our way down the mountain back into town... - Hi Costco! Hi McDonalds! Hola Burger King. Adios filth and despair. - Back on ship - a drink for me? Yes, please! - a little of the same as Friday. Fabulous Elegant Night dinner - once again missed "sail away" - too busy eatin. Hit the shows (Hillbilly dance was aight, JeRome... stole Lowell's jokes). Salsa at Rex. Disco at Casino. Hip Hop in Hallway. More lousy food at midnight Taco Bar. LMAO at Carnival's idea of "cuisine." Sleep comes at 4 AM.

SunDay at Sea - hardly remember. How did we... nevermind. Ship is anchored far, far away from San Clemente island - all 27 NM away! Suffer thru breakfast - limp bacon, soggy french toast, redeeming fruit. Wander into Riband Library. Steal Behind Scenes tour script... interesting FAQ. $20 Bingo buy-in, $5000 pot - winner walks away with One Grand. My sister walks away with bottle of Italian Champagne from Scratchers raffle. CruiseCritic guy comes by - chat for a while - LMAO at Hairy Chest contest. Once again, 4 D's: dinner, dancing, drinking, delirium. Once again, LMAO at the subpar feast presented at buffet. Catch Lowell's R-rated comedy - HILARIOUS, buy the CD, buy a martini, cashout. - Did I mention that JeRome told the same jokes as Lowell? Not funny. - Read more