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Noordam Cruise Review
3.5 / 5.0
Cruise Critic Editor Rating
832 Reviews

First cruise: nice time but Noordam is a germ machine! With mean magician

Noordam Cruise Review by JoliesParents

2 people found this helpful
Trip Details
  • Sail Date: Nov 2016
  • Destination: Australia & New Zealand
  • Cabin Type: Deluxe Ocean-View Verandah Stateroom

we wanted to see Australia and New Zealand and also have some cruise days.

We read a review The Noordam is a germ machine. It is true. My wife got a cold the firs day of the cruise and the last day. I got a flu right in the middle of the trip. I think that the Noordam tries to minimize this and warns folks to use the hand sanitizer, etc. But there were a number of ill guests.

The staff was very nice and helpful. Very friendly with a sincere desire to made our trip pleasant.

We saw some lovely beaches. New Zealand was extremely cold and had a hard time going to see it. My wife had a cold and the weather was cold and rainy so we stayed on the ship and let her rest.

We liked the entertainment, except for the magician. We made some friends on board. A couple in their late 80's. Husband had a slight hearing problem

He really wanted to see the magic show and sit up front. The magician asked me to stand up and pick a card out of his deck. i pointed to elderly husband and said choose him. He really loved magic.

Magician addressed husband (I dont want to share his name without his consent) and told him to stand up and pick a card out of the magician's deck. he stood up. But said "What did you say, I didnt hear you"

Magician snidely said "I dont like you. You can't hear. Please sit down". I thought that this was rude and uncalled for.

There was another guest, a lady who was an english as a second language speaker. He asked her to stand and asked a question and she didnt understand him at first and he rudely told her to sit down.

How do I report this to HAL? One of his "tricks" was to pound a bottle with a hammer. He pounded it with a hammer and said" I hate you dad, I hate you dad, i dont want to be a lawyer. I want to be an entertainer"

I think he should think about entering the practice of law. His personality is suited for it.

JoliesParents's Full Rating Summary
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Cabin Review

Deluxe Ocean-View Verandah Stateroom
Cabin VH 4240

loved the balcony

Port & Shore Excursion Reviews


This was the day there was a 7,8 earcthquake

We missed it by 2 hours! Some tourists were trapped (not from the Noordam)

Port Denarau

there were some 3rd world places that we did not enjoy

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