Having previously cruised with the likes of Celebrity and P & O we thought we'd give Cruise & Maritime a go and opted to try a 3 day jaunt to Amsterdam and Antwerp before booking one of their cruises further afield. Stayed in a lovely B & B in Longfield the night before, parked our car on someone's driveway for a very modest sum [booked through an official website] and went to catch the ferry over to Tilbury dock however the ferry was kaput so we had to get a taxi @ £35. Boarding was swift however our hand luggage was not inspected AT ALL, we were simply waved through - we could have had any kind of device of destruction secreted and in these days of hugely increased risk I was thoroughly shocked and more than a tad angry that security is so lax. Immediately shown to our very spacious cabin we were met by a wall of heat, there was a dial in the ceiling which we had to turn right back and after some hours it was bearable. As I say the cabin [an upgrade to Premium Twin Outside] was spacious with plenty of storage, a TV and very good lighting which was variable in terms of full on or low and two reading lights. The bathroom had a good sized shower but disappointing in terms of toiletries -dispensers, one for soap, one for shampoo, no conditioner. I loathe dragging these things around with me - added weight and superfluous as I'm happy to use those normally provided. I noted an aroma of fried food and realised we were situated above kitchens, this was to pervade our room at every meal service. We went up to the buffet "Raffles" for some lunch. A mediocre spread is a term I would use. Evacuation drill next. Short of actually getting into the lifeboats and being lowered to the sea below it was the most protracted affair I have ever been subjected to and as usual the "late" contingent rolled in further extending the exercise. Back to the room to rest before dinner. We had to phone down to reception to ascertain our table number and dining venue. Arrived for our evening meal and were sat by very affable young waiters. Menu issued we selected our meal & even the desert was to be established at this time. No wine waiter appeared at any point and when I asked for a glass of red wine I was poured a sample of a very vinegary Tempranillo which I declined, no other choice proffered. I chose Pate - looked more like a slice of brawn - pale and very uninteresting, served with a few flaccid leaves, Pork Escalopes in some kind of coating which was scuffed and unattractive dumped on the plate with no more than 6 cubes in total of carrot and possibly turnip - no potatoes and then the diet lemon mousse which could only be described as shaving foam mixed with gelatine. Seated on a table of 8 our courses came at different times and so we were left hesitating to start without our company having theirs. Ghastly! With only subtle variations this was the menu throughout the ship for that evening. We chose not to frequent the dining room again but the buffet was no improvement serving the equivalent of a meat stew of one sort or another, pizza and some other uninspiring offering each evening. Breakfast consisted of the usual items although the bacon appeared to be whole packs of bacon bits emptied onto a flat griddle and cooked still stuck together in a clump only to be separated by vigorous manipulation of the provided tongs. If you chose to have water with your meal you would need to fill several small glasses as each only held about 150ml. No tea or coffee making facilities in the room unless you book a suite so people cunningly filled vessels of hot water and took the makings from the only available source, in Raffles Bistro, back to their cabins. Enough about the food suffice to say it was dire, mean portioned [main dining room] school dinner food.

Entertainment: Dire, sat and endured 5 minutes of some song and dance routine.

Back to our cabin: Unable to sleep for the most awful noises which sounded as though some Blue whales had found appropriately sized toffee hammers and set about bashing the side of the ship, coupled with the "Air conditioning" making a loud racket I called the reception to ask if all was well with the ship. A lovely young officer came up to the cabin and cheerfully informed that it was completely normal and that is was an old ship. Reception kindly sent up four earplugs which were slid under our door in an envelope. Never sleeping well the first night away from home I brought some Nytol which I was obliged to use each and every night along with weapons grade earplugs. Read more