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My wife and I are in our mid-40s and decided to take a cruise to Bermuda thinking that it would be a great way to spend a romantic week together while also getting to experience the culture of a foreign country. We were wrong. What we got instead was a "bus trip" aboard a no-tell motel to a shopping mall. The details are as follows: - The overall look of the ship was old and shabby, this was the first thing that I noticed as we ascended the gangway. There was peeling paint, rust, carpeting hanging from the stairs, dirty windows and every door that wasn't glass, be they cabin doors or elevator doors, was dented as if hit randomly and repeatedly with hammers. - When we arrived at our cabin, the first thing that greeted us was the stench of sulphur (like a septic tank) and wet carpet at the entrance to the bathroom. After notifying customer service about this, the room was cleaned, the rug was "dried" with a massive air blower (that blocked the entire walkway) and the shower was recaulked. This entire process took place over the first three days but the smell was gone and the carpet dry. - The toilet randomly just refused to flush. It always eventually did, just not on demand. - The food was mediocre AT BEST. This applied not only to the Windjammer buffet where, being a buffet, you'd expect mediocre food but also to the "fine dining" restaurant where the pretentiousness far exceeded the quality of the food. The "food" at the Park Cafe bordered on inedible and regardless of where it came from, the coffee tasted as if were filtered through a mixture of burnt sofas from a house-fire and ground up railroad ties (I wish that this was exaggerated). - The activities aboard the ship ranged from boring to embarrassing. Some of the highlights were the "World's Sexiest Man" contest, where having any sense of decorum was clearly grounds for disqualification, the belly flop contest, where the runners-up from the previously mentioned contest could put their splendid physiques to good use and, perhaps best of all, the "Fine Art" auction. This was the most offensive of all. Not because it plainly showed that the cruise line thought of their captive guests as pretentious dupes, who believe that actual art is sold on a cruise ship, but because they were apparently at least partially right. - The staff were all very friendly and always smiled, even when a "guest" gave them little reason to do so. - Many of the "guests" simply had no idea how to behave properly in public. Obviously this is not the cruise line's fault but it did have a great impact on the experience overall. - It's almost inconceivable that in 2015, smokers are still allowed to engage in their filthy habit in such close proximity to those of us that choose not to poison ourselves. Yet all of the starboard-side outdoor decks and the entire casino still allow this, as though they are somehow actually separated from the rest of us. Sorry smokers, it's your addiction not mine. Thanks Royal Caribbean for the opportunity to breathe second-hand cigarette smoke. - The entire cruise is a never-ending "up-sell". While eating in one restaurant, people from another badger you to come to theirs. You are ceaselessly encouraged to book your next cruise, starting while still at the dock. Plainly, the free coffee is designed to send you running for the on-board Starbuck's. The spa staff are always "encouraging" you to visit - When it rained, water leaked from everything but the lights. - Our daily one-mile walk on deck 10 doubled as trash pick up. The staff simply didn't do it and we couldn't just ignore it as it would have blown overboard. In hindsight this was rather silly considering the environmental rape that cruise ships inflict upon the oceans with what they dump overboard. - Once we arrived at Bermuda all of the ship's closed, forcing anyone inclined to spend money to do so on the island, at the grossly inflated prices that having a captive audience allows. - Snorkel Park "Beach" I won't get into details about that. You can find out all you need to know on Trip Advisor. I STRONGLY advise that you do so before visiting this physically hazardous dump (it literally is a "reclaimed" dump).

Horrible Way to Spend a Week

Grandeur of the Seas Cruise Review by earthoceanlover

7 people found this helpful
Trip Details
  • Sail Date: August 2015
  • Destination: Bermuda
My wife and I are in our mid-40s and decided to take a cruise to Bermuda thinking that it would be a great way to spend a romantic week together while also getting to experience the culture of a foreign country. We were wrong. What we got instead was a "bus trip" aboard a no-tell motel to a shopping mall.

The details are as follows:

- The overall look of the ship was old and shabby, this was the first thing that I noticed as we ascended the gangway. There was peeling paint, rust, carpeting hanging from the stairs, dirty windows and every door that wasn't glass, be they cabin doors or elevator doors, was dented as if hit randomly and repeatedly with hammers.

- When we arrived at our cabin, the first thing that greeted us was the stench of sulphur (like a septic tank) and wet carpet at the entrance to the bathroom. After notifying customer service about this, the room was cleaned, the rug was "dried" with a massive air blower (that blocked the entire walkway) and the shower was recaulked. This entire process took place over the first three days but the smell was gone and the carpet dry.

- The toilet randomly just refused to flush. It always eventually did, just not on demand.

- The food was mediocre AT BEST. This applied not only to the Windjammer buffet where, being a buffet, you'd expect mediocre food but also to the "fine dining" restaurant where the pretentiousness far exceeded the quality of the food. The "food" at the Park Cafe bordered on inedible and regardless of where it came from, the coffee tasted as if were filtered through a mixture of burnt sofas from a house-fire and ground up railroad ties (I wish that this was exaggerated).

- The activities aboard the ship ranged from boring to embarrassing. Some of the highlights were the "World's Sexiest Man" contest, where having any sense of decorum was clearly grounds for disqualification, the belly flop contest, where the runners-up from the previously mentioned contest could put their splendid physiques to good use and, perhaps best of all, the "Fine Art" auction. This was the most offensive of all. Not because it plainly showed that the cruise line thought of their captive guests as pretentious dupes, who believe that actual art is sold on a cruise ship, but because they were apparently at least partially right.

- The staff were all very friendly and always smiled, even when a "guest" gave them little reason to do so.

- Many of the "guests" simply had no idea how to behave properly in public. Obviously this is not the cruise line's fault but it did have a great impact on the experience overall.

- It's almost inconceivable that in 2015, smokers are still allowed to engage in their filthy habit in such close proximity to those of us that choose not to poison ourselves. Yet all of the starboard-side outdoor decks and the entire casino still allow this, as though they are somehow actually separated from the rest of us. Sorry smokers, it's your addiction not mine. Thanks Royal Caribbean for the opportunity to breathe second-hand cigarette smoke.

- The entire cruise is a never-ending "up-sell". While eating in one restaurant, people from another badger you to come to theirs. You are ceaselessly encouraged to book your next cruise, starting while still at the dock. Plainly, the free coffee is designed to send you running for the on-board Starbuck's. The spa staff are always "encouraging" you to visit

- When it rained, water leaked from everything but the lights.

- Our daily one-mile walk on deck 10 doubled as trash pick up. The staff simply didn't do it and we couldn't just ignore it as it would have blown overboard. In hindsight this was rather silly considering the environmental rape that cruise ships inflict upon the oceans with what they dump overboard.

- Once we arrived at Bermuda all of the ship's closed, forcing anyone inclined to spend money to do so on the island, at the grossly inflated prices that having a captive audience allows.

- Snorkel Park "Beach" I won't get into details about that. You can find out all you need to know on Trip Advisor. I STRONGLY advise that you do so before visiting this physically hazardous dump (it literally is a "reclaimed" dump).
earthoceanlover’s Full Rating Summary
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