Imagine you're sailing on a cruise to Alaska. It's raining outside. There's no casino and it's cold on the upper deck. You've got a cranky wife and an unappreciative kid. There's hundreds of sugared-up kids excited because Mickey or Goofy is about to appear. You venture outside of your cabin only to be bombarded by "It's a Small World" or "Just a Spoon Full of Sugar."

As we sailed toward Tracy's Arm, I spotted a couple of brown bears on shore. I thought about jumping ship, swimming to land, figuring I could take both of the bears out and survive on bear meat for a couple of days. But that would have meant swimming across the water where we had just seen a couple of whales, and someone else saw an orca. (They seemed pretty friendly, and hey, they don't eat DISNEY customers, do they?)

I knew a Disney cruise wasn't going to be for me. I hate Disney theme parks and don't buy into the magic. But my wife and kid love Disney, so I figured how bad could the experience be? Read more