The norovirus that arrived with the ship should have been a clue that things weren't exactly the Garden of Eden. We were delayed in boarding while the ship was decontaminated in San Pedro. We were told to be at the cruise terminal at 2 pm to board. We dutifully reported a bit prior to 2, only to find that they wanted the LAST passenger boarding group to arrive first, so that they could send you to the far reaches of the terminal to sit for 2-1/2 hours while the later arrivals boarded first. Not that walking San Pedro would have been any better - it's pretty much a slummy hole.

Once on board, we found that our cabin wasn't ready, so we went to the lounge for two glasses of bubbly. That'll be $42 on your account, please. Or you can opt for the $490 upcharge for unlimited drinks, as long as each drink is under $10. So the $21 glasses of Champagne would have been on top of the upcharge fee in any event. As long as you don't mind drinking sodas, or the garbage Korbel pawns off as "Champagne" (even though it is made thousands of miles from Champagne), you can have all of it you want. No thanks.

Once in the cabin, we realized the HVAC didn't work. So we called maintenance a few times, and finally got someone up to fix it. It turns out it was shut off at the vent, which is conveniently located over the bed, so that when the maintenance guy opened the soffit to get at it, clouds of dust and dirt spilled down onto the bed and floor. One problem solved, another created. Read more