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This is the most honest review you'll ever read. And it was written on the boat, and sent to my friends via e-mail, so if I forgot to change the tense in some of the sentences, pardon me. Also pardon the typos, as it was originally written using expensive online minutes. ------------------ FIRST: This boat is HUGE. It is 18 stories tall, a city block wide and an avenue long. It holds about 3200 people. 3100 of them are white. 98 are black. 2 are "other." Guess which two? ;-) Getting on the boat was a breeze. If you arrive toward the latter end of the time frame. Take the luggage tags you get in the mail with you. And if you need meds or something, put it in your carry on, because our luggage took 5 hours to make it to our room. We had a mini-suite, which was lovely. 2 TVs in that room! There is a spacious balcony, where we had breakfast every day. There is plenty of room to place clothes on shelves and about 20 hangers. There is a little fridge, so I brought some cereal and soy milk with me. That said, I didn't know what to expect, and only having seen Love Boat as an example, I was expecting to be dining with the captain at his table while Ted McGinley fetches me some pinot noir. Well, to say the least, we did not dine with the captain, but in the buffet line. If you are vegetarian, you may be one of the licky few to LOSE weight on a cruise! Go to the Lotus Spa, and do a detoxification. They wrap your midsection in some seaweed stuff and mushy clay mixture. Then they put a few electric stims on you, and it contracts your muscles. Basically it pushes all the toxins in your body, into your kidkeys. Then after you use the bathroom, you have detoxed. I thought of course, it's a scam. But it's not!!! It's a European method, not American, which automatically gives it some spa cred. After the detox, it was much easier to eat what I wanted, without the side effects I was having for some time. Ok, to be honest, it's a natural way to solve any irritable bowel symptoms. I with America would try these solutions, rather than pumping us up with medications and wasting insurance money. This is not easily available in NY, because they have more "quick fixes for problems, like popping pills. But this is, while using the electric stims, sill more natural than anything else. Anyway, back to the issue of food. Yes, people PILE food onto their plates, SHOVEL it into their mouths, and get more food, which is promptly wasted. Almost everyone overeats, and eats unhealthy (read: 3 desserts per person). I couldn't believe the level of unheathiness and obesity. The American epidemic is obvious by one loko at the boat. In fact, any time we were on the elevator, people would comment, about themselves, and laugh as if it was a joke! THe elevators say "Maximum capacity 18 persons." Ok, I agree, that 15 is a more comfortable limit. But on any given elevator ride, only 9 people would fit. And one of them would invariabley say "How the hell are you supposed to fit 18 people in here? Some of us take up two spaces!" and the rest of the elevator laughs! People, this is not funny! Stop killing yourselves with ho-hos and other sugary foods! So enough of the mean stuff. On that note, I must say their fitness facility is state-of-the art, and amazing. It's at the front of the ship, so you can see the ocean, and are moving forward as you are on the treadmills (for the few who actually made it to gym) they have all the machines a regular gym has, and it's clean, and user-friendly (except the abductor machine is a little hard to adjust.) The gym is through the Lotus Spa. Don't be misled and think that it's only for people who use the Spa. The gym is free, and is for everyone, so go right ahead, and jump on that treadmill. There is also an adults-only pool, that is reachable through the Spa. It's near the Sanctuary, but is not actually part of Sanctuary, so you may use it free of charge. Ok, maybe some more mean stuff. They have tons of activities on the boat, much of which we didn't really feel like doing. We have basically sat by the pool, sit in the hot tub, sit on our balcony, which if you go on a cruise, get a balcony. I realized without that, we'd be bored. It's nice to sit there, have breakfast, and watch the water. But some of the cheesier activities, like "Join ALEX on deck 15, to play 'Jeopardy and win a prize" was too cheesy. And, what makes people want to get in a conga line and dance around the pool, is beyond me. Ok, just one more cheesy event before moving on to better stuff. There are two "formal" nights. The other days, you wear kakhis for dinner. On formal nights, men must wear suits, and women are requested to wear " floor-length ballgowns." I flatly refused, of course. I did wear a short dress. However, most women get all dolled up in their PROM dresses. I kid you not. They wear these aqua- or pink-colored floor-length dresses, put on their nicest costume jewelry, their black high heels bedazzled with rhinestones, and strut down to the dining hall. As we were getting dressed, we couldn't stop laughing, that we were actually doing that too! hehee. But they seat you with other people, so it's a chance to meet them and chat. Some people are on their 20th cruise! The dining room food is outstanding. They have a great vegetarian menu, with inventive, tasty dishes, that are not too heavy. And my hubby ate several meat dishes, all of which he liked. Ok, so the first stop was Bermuda. I didn't think we'd land there, because many customer reviews on cruisecritic.com said that they skipped Bermuda, due to "weather conditions." But, all the same people said that the cruise line rescued a fisherman at sea, "so it was worth it to have missed Bermuda." The conspiracy theorist in me immediately determined that Princess Cruises plants a fisherman en route to Bermuda, so they don' thave to waste money going there. However, that didn't happen to us. We were going to do a group activity with the excitable, overeager, panting-for-Photo-Ops crowd, but it was raining too much, that they cancelled it. Everyone else decided to wait out the rain, which stopped in a few hours. But it was a blessing in disguise, because we took a taxi to the other end of Bermuda, and got to see Crystal Caves. (No reservation needed. They have tours every half hour. The driver will know where it is. The cab costs about $40 but is worth it. To save money and time, you can also take a ferry to east end from the ship dock, which is only 10 minutes, and $4. THen a short cab ride to the Caves.) It is a cave of stalagmites and stalagtites. It is by far the coolest thing I've ever seen. You descend town a bunch of stairs, and see some really neat formations, and there is an underground river and other neat things. Plenty of photos ensued (with new digi camera) , to the point where the tour guide made a comment, no doubt directed at me, that "you will notice that photos turn out just as well WITHOUT the flash on your cameras." Hmpfh. Anyway, that was very neat indeed. Then we tried desperately to find anywhere to eat, but it was a national holiday, where they celebrate the freedom from slavery, and so everything was closed. Even the ONLY fast-food place they had, KFC, was closed. So we found a local bar (Casey's Bar), where they had some macaroni, and some other stuff, and ate there. it was a neat place, and there were these guys gambling over cards in the back, so it wasn't touristy, which made it even better. So we walked around a bit, but dind't shop. This was because everything was closed, which was good, or else, I may be out a few hundred dollars. We eventually took a ferry back to the ship, and got on the ship. Everyone was standing on their balconies, heckling the latecomers. There are always some morons who think they can take their own sweet time and he ship waits for them. Overall, it's a good time, and you can pick and choose your activities, but the cruise is filled with cheesy people, and events, which are easily avoided. Right now, I'm online in the lobby, where a pianist is playing the Titanic song. No, I'm not kidding. And prior to that was a 4-piece string quartet. Nice, but very Titanic. Maybe I'm just a jaded New Yorker, or plain obnoxious! It is a relaxing vacation, once you get over the melted cheese dripping on your head. Tonights' dining is "smart casual" hahaa. Don't worry, I gave disapproving stares to people who waste enough food to feed all the kids in the world who go hungry. :-(So in Puerto Rico, we went to the El Yunque rainforest. The cruise tours were all booked (blessing in disguise), so we went to the Sheraton and booked a tour from there. Not only was it HALF the price that we would have paid booking it through the cruise, but it was a small group of just 9 people, and they were a really fun bunch. It was a good hike, and a good workout. We went there expecting some sort of Brazilian rainforest, with macaws and toucans, and pythons. This is mostly vegetation and greenery, no animals. But it was still really nice. And on the way back, we stopped at a roadside stand for some local food, which sold for just $1 a plate! It was good, but almost ALL the food we ate in PR was fried. Then we had a few more hours to kill, so we walked around, window shopping. I didn't buy anything, since all the stores were full of the same things, and all of them were tourist traps, not relaly local merchandise, but cheap trinkets for people who just HAVE to have that napkin holder emblazoned with the words "Puerto Rico!" For the vegetarians, there is a great place a few blocks from the ship, called Cafe Berlin. However, we didn't eat there. We wanted to try something different and ate at a Latin-Indian restaurant. There, too, much of the food was fried. I ordered a spinach-cheese dish, and the cheese was so fried that I had to slice off the outsides to get at the softer cheese! But it tasted good. They have yummy plantain dishes too. The next day, we went to Virgin Islands, and went snorkeling. This time, we could not escape the cruise crowd. Oh well. So, they take us to this place called Turtle Cove. So named, because there are all of 5 turtles residing on the sea floor. We did this thing called Power Snorkeling. IT'S A SCAM. Basically, you get this device that you hold, and maneuver it to propel you through the water. That part was fine. But they only took us around the little snorkeling boat! One would think that with a motor device, you would go all sorts of places, but no, the scuba leader would say, in her cheeriest Disney-esque chipper voice, "Now come on over and follow me as we head on over THIS way, and let's see if we can find a STINGRAAAAYYY!!!" So we'd head on over, literally 100 feet, which doesn't really require the use of a power device, and check out the lone stingray, which immediately darts away upon hearing the power snorkels. After a while, I gave up on the device, and just swam around. Snorkeling in Caribbean is nice, the water is clear. But if anyone has snorkeled in Cancun, it's a huge difference. In Mexico, it's a big barrier reef, with sea life galore, and it's just like you see on TV. Here, it's some corals, and very little sea life in comparison. And the boat operator actually had the nerve to announce that the stuff you see on TV, is digitally enhanced, to produce those colors, due to the fact that water absorbs certain colors. NOT TRUE! Well, water does absorb colors, but the snorkeling in Cancun takes your breath away, without digital enhancement! Anyway, on our way back, they served some rum drinks. Can't remember the name of it, but I know it's what I drank for 4 (ok, 5) years of undergrad, and every sip I took reminded me of a drunken night on a dance floor. And would you believe it, it started to pour on our way back, and stopped just as we got off? An interesting tidbit, is the reason for the white sand on the bottom of the ocean there. Apparently, the Parrotfish nibbles on coral all day, and produces so much white poo, that it results in the white "sand." Think about that next time you're on the beach and want to build a sandcastle or get buried in the sand. ;-)So that was that, and the next day, we went to Turks/Caicos and we did a glass-bottom boat/snorkel. It literally has a glass bottom, where you can be dry and sit and look out the window, and you are 6 feet under water, so you see the sea life beneath the surface. It's neat, because we went past the 'dropoff' which is where the sea floor does a straight drop from 20 feet deep to 8000 feet deep! Then they let us snorkel a little, and the scene was the same. Same fish, different 'hood. But a word about Grand Turk. Princess Cruises practically owns one island of Turks. They developed it so they could dock there, and own it for 10 years, after which they "return" the island to the locals. Yeah, weird, I know. I'm sure after 10 years, they will tell the locals that they'll stop docking there unless they get half the profits. See, it's all planned out to rip off the locals and put more money in their pockets. Anyway, the place i's small, and the entire beach is about 1/4 mile from the ship, so if you go in the water, it's in full view of the behemoth boat. And, it's total Tourist center. The ONLY way to get to the beach is, yes, to walk through the Duty-Free store. I kid you not. After you do so, you must walk through Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville. Margaritaville is full of low-IQ beer guzzlers. Margaritaville, is the only place to eat in this area. Nowhere else is food available. And there is a huge pool there, just for cruise passengers. It is filled to the brim with 18-to-21-year old girls and college guys looking to hook up. They stand waist-deep in the water holding their tall plastic pink cups of beer and daquiris and other such drinkables. The girls drinks shots all day, and collect the test tubes that the shots come in, and stick them in their bikini bottoms, and walk around. The more shots you display, the cooler you are. I'm sure most of these troublemakers are here on the sly, and their families think they are babysitting the Parkers' children for the weekend. Ooooh, no. They are in spring break mode. I have never felt so old in my life. Never. ever. ever. It's a total MTV beach party! and they play drinking tunes quite loudly, and there is nowhere to escape! Even if you want to walk around the shopping area, it's all tourist shops, and ALL the profits from the purchases go to Princess Cruises, since they set up shop there in the first place! I was amazed at the number of people who were too dense to realize this, even after being told much of the information, and actually thought they got to see a new country! PEOPLE! WAKE UP! Sheesh, so after drinking a margarita (what else?) we headed back to the ship for two more days at sea, heading home. And the next day, was another "formal night." Good lord, as if the first one wasn't enough, there are TWO! I almost wore jeans in silent protest, but realized they wouldn't let us in the dining room unless we were appropriately dressed. And for those lovely ladies and gents who didn't bring any formal wear, you can rent a tuxedo on the boat, or purchase black silk shirts with sequins all over the shoulders, just like Liza Minelli. Buuuut, luckily, not as many people were as dressed up this time, I think they were too tired to bother. We avoided the buffet for dinner, since the dining room had much better food, on a menu that you could customize. The last day, we realized the menu was a total mishmash of leftovers. Not kidding. Every item, at least on the veg menu, was a "Vegetable terrine" or "Veggie medley" or "salad with mixed vegetables." They did a good job of using up all the leftover veggies, but it was painfully obvious, since the dishes didn't really go together that well, in the attempt to use up food. A dish of Eggplant, rice, avocado, and mango? I smell a conspiracy. But who cares, it tasted good. These last 2 days, we once again avoided the activities. Well, I did attend a cooking show, where the head chef and maitre'd prepare some foods in this huge theater they have on the ship, and tell you about how much food they make per day. About 10 to 15 tons PER DAY! There are 1100 staffers on the boat! And that was all. Getting off the boat was chaos, with a little bit of order. It was chaos, because a crowd such as this has no patience, and gets all "Maude, have you seen Clyde? And where are Tom and Nancy, and I haven't seen Kayla or the twins because we all have to stick together, and if we're separated, we might not find each other once we're off the boat, because who knows how long immigration will take, and someone has to watch our bags, and once they call us to disembark, it might take a while, because we have to find out where to go, yada yada yada" And wouldn't you know it, it was (and still is) pouring rain in NY as we get out. haha.

Crown Princess - Eastern Caribbean

Crown Princess Cruise Review by Cumin

Trip Details
This is the most honest review you'll ever read.
And it was written on the boat, and sent to my friends via e-mail, so if I forgot to change the tense in some of the sentences, pardon me. Also pardon the typos, as it was originally written using expensive online minutes.

------------------

FIRST:
This boat is HUGE. It is 18 stories tall, a city block wide and
an avenue long. It holds about 3200 people. 3100 of them are white. 98
are black. 2 are "other." Guess which two?
;-)

Getting on the boat was a breeze. If you arrive toward the latter end of the time frame. Take the luggage tags you get in the mail with you. And if you need meds or something, put it in your carry on, because our luggage took 5 hours to make it to our room.

We had a mini-suite, which was lovely. 2 TVs in that room! There is a spacious balcony, where we had breakfast every day. There is plenty of room to place clothes on shelves and about 20 hangers. There is a little fridge, so I brought some cereal and soy milk with me.

That said, I didn't know what to expect, and only having seen Love Boat as an example,
I was expecting to be dining with the captain at his table while Ted
McGinley fetches me some pinot noir. Well, to say the least, we did
not dine with the captain, but in the buffet line. If you are vegetarian, you may be one of the licky few to LOSE weight on a cruise!

Go to the Lotus Spa, and do a detoxification.
They wrap your midsection in some seaweed stuff and mushy clay
mixture. Then they put a few electric stims on you, and it contracts
your muscles. Basically it pushes all the toxins in your body, into
your kidkeys. Then after you use the bathroom, you have detoxed. I
thought of course, it's a scam. But it's not!!! It's a European
method, not American, which automatically gives it some spa cred.
After the detox, it was much easier to eat what I wanted, without the
side effects I was having for some time. Ok, to be honest, it's a natural way to solve any irritable bowel symptoms. I with America would try these solutions, rather than pumping us up with medications and wasting insurance money. This is not easily available in
NY, because they have more "quick fixes for problems, like popping
pills. But this is, while using the electric stims, sill more natural
than anything else. Anyway, back to the issue of food.

Yes, people PILE food onto their plates, SHOVEL it into their mouths,
and get more food, which is promptly wasted. Almost everyone overeats, and eats unhealthy (read: 3 desserts per person). I couldn't believe the level of unheathiness and obesity. The American epidemic is obvious by one loko at the boat. In fact, any time we were on the elevator, people would comment, about themselves, and laugh as if it was a joke! THe elevators say "Maximum capacity 18 persons." Ok, I agree, that 15 is a more comfortable limit. But on any given elevator ride, only 9 people would fit. And one of them would invariabley say "How the hell are you supposed to fit 18 people in here? Some of us take up two spaces!" and the rest of the elevator laughs! People, this is not funny! Stop killing yourselves with ho-hos and other sugary foods! So enough of the mean stuff.

On that note, I must say their fitness facility is state-of-the art, and amazing. It's at the front of the ship, so you can see the ocean, and are moving forward as you are on the treadmills (for the few who actually made it to gym) they have all the machines a regular gym has, and it's clean, and user-friendly (except the abductor machine is a little hard to adjust.)

The gym is through the Lotus Spa. Don't be misled and think that it's only for people who use the Spa. The gym is free, and is for everyone, so go right ahead, and jump on that treadmill. There is also an adults-only pool, that is reachable through the Spa. It's near the Sanctuary, but is not actually part of Sanctuary, so you may use it free of charge.

Ok, maybe some more mean stuff. They have tons of activities on the
boat, much of which we didn't really feel like doing. We have
basically sat by the pool, sit in the hot tub, sit on our balcony,
which if you go on a cruise, get a balcony. I realized without that,
we'd be bored. It's nice to sit there, have breakfast, and watch the
water. But some of the cheesier activities, like "Join ALEX on deck
15, to play 'Jeopardy and win a prize" was too cheesy. And,
what makes people want to get in a conga line and dance around the
pool, is beyond me.

Ok, just one more cheesy event before moving on to better stuff. There
are two "formal" nights. The other days, you wear kakhis for dinner.
On formal nights, men must wear suits, and women are requested to wear
" floor-length ballgowns." I flatly refused, of course. I did wear a short
dress. However, most women get all dolled up in their
PROM dresses. I kid you not. They wear these aqua- or pink-colored
floor-length dresses, put on their nicest costume jewelry, their black
high heels bedazzled with rhinestones, and strut down to the dining
hall. As we were getting dressed, we couldn't stop laughing, that we
were actually doing that too! hehee. But they seat you with other
people, so it's a chance to meet them and chat. Some people are on
their 20th cruise!

The dining room food is outstanding. They have a great vegetarian menu, with inventive, tasty dishes, that are not too heavy. And my hubby ate several meat dishes, all of which he liked.

Ok, so the first stop was Bermuda. I didn't think we'd land there,
because many customer reviews on cruisecritic.com said that they
skipped Bermuda, due to "weather conditions." But, all the same people
said that the cruise line rescued a fisherman at sea, "so it was worth
it to have missed Bermuda." The conspiracy theorist in me immediately
determined that Princess Cruises plants a fisherman en route to
Bermuda, so they don' thave to waste money going there. However, that
didn't happen to us.

We were going to do a group activity with the excitable, overeager, panting-for-Photo-Ops crowd, but it was raining too much, that they cancelled it. Everyone else
decided to wait out the rain, which stopped in a few hours. But it was
a blessing in disguise, because we took a taxi to the other end of
Bermuda, and got to see Crystal Caves. (No reservation needed. They have tours every half hour. The driver will know where it is. The cab costs about $40 but is worth it. To save money and time, you can also take a ferry to east end from the ship dock, which is only 10 minutes, and $4. THen a short cab ride to the Caves.) It is a cave of stalagmites and stalagtites. It
is by far the coolest thing I've ever seen. You descend town a bunch
of stairs, and see some really neat formations, and there is an
underground river and other neat things. Plenty of photos ensued (with
new digi camera) , to the point where the tour guide made a comment,
no doubt directed at me, that "you will notice that photos turn out
just as well WITHOUT the flash on your cameras." Hmpfh.

Anyway, that was very neat indeed. Then we tried desperately to find
anywhere to eat, but it was a national holiday, where they celebrate
the freedom from slavery, and so everything was closed. Even the ONLY
fast-food place they had, KFC, was closed. So we found a local bar (Casey's Bar),
where they had some macaroni, and some other stuff, and ate there. it
was a neat place, and there were these guys gambling over cards in the
back, so it wasn't touristy, which made it even better.

So we walked around a bit, but dind't shop. This was because
everything was closed, which was good, or else, I may be out a few
hundred dollars. We eventually took a ferry back to the ship, and got
on the ship. Everyone was standing on their balconies, heckling the
latecomers. There are always some morons who think they can take their
own sweet time and he ship waits for them.

Overall, it's a good time, and you can pick and choose your
activities, but the cruise is filled with cheesy people, and events,
which are easily avoided. Right now, I'm online in the lobby, where a
pianist is playing the Titanic song. No, I'm not kidding. And prior to
that was a 4-piece string quartet. Nice, but very Titanic. Maybe I'm
just a jaded New Yorker, or plain obnoxious! It is a relaxing
vacation, once you get over the melted cheese dripping on your head.

Tonights' dining is "smart casual" hahaa. Don't worry, I gave
disapproving stares to people who waste enough food to feed all the
kids in the world who go hungry. :-(So in Puerto Rico, we went to the El Yunque rainforest. The cruise
tours were all booked (blessing in disguise), so we went to the
Sheraton and booked a tour from there. Not only was it HALF the price
that we would have paid booking it through the cruise, but it was a
small group of just 9 people, and they were a really fun bunch. It was
a good hike, and a good workout. We went there expecting some sort of
Brazilian rainforest, with macaws and toucans, and pythons. This is
mostly vegetation and greenery, no animals. But it was still really
nice. And on the way back, we stopped at a roadside stand for some
local food, which sold for just $1 a plate! It was good, but almost
ALL the food we ate in PR was fried.

Then we had a few more hours to kill, so we walked around, window
shopping. I didn't buy anything, since all the stores were full of the same things, and all of them were tourist traps, not relaly local merchandise, but cheap trinkets for people who just HAVE to have that napkin holder emblazoned with the words "Puerto Rico!"
For the vegetarians, there is a great place a few blocks from the ship, called Cafe Berlin. However, we didn't eat there. We wanted to try something different and ate at a Latin-Indian restaurant. There, too, much of the food was fried. I ordered a spinach-cheese dish, and the cheese was so
fried that I had to slice off the outsides to get at the softer
cheese! But it tasted good. They have yummy plantain dishes too.

The next day, we went to Virgin Islands, and went snorkeling. This
time, we could not escape the cruise crowd. Oh well. So, they take us
to this place called Turtle Cove. So named, because there are all of 5
turtles residing on the sea floor. We did this thing called Power
Snorkeling. IT'S A SCAM. Basically, you get this device that you hold,
and maneuver it to propel you through the water. That part was fine.
But they only took us around the little snorkeling boat! One would
think that with a motor device, you would go all sorts of places, but
no, the scuba leader would say, in her cheeriest Disney-esque chipper
voice, "Now come on over and follow me as we head on over THIS way,
and let's see if we can find a STINGRAAAAYYY!!!" So we'd head on
over, literally 100 feet, which doesn't really require the use of a
power device, and check out the lone stingray, which immediately darts
away upon hearing the power snorkels.

After a while, I gave up on the device, and just swam around.
Snorkeling in Caribbean is nice, the water is clear. But if anyone has
snorkeled in Cancun, it's a huge difference. In Mexico, it's a big
barrier reef, with sea life galore, and it's just like you see on TV.
Here, it's some corals, and very little sea life in comparison. And
the boat operator actually had the nerve to announce that the stuff
you see on TV, is digitally enhanced, to produce those colors, due to
the fact that water absorbs certain colors. NOT TRUE! Well, water does
absorb colors, but the snorkeling in Cancun takes your breath away,
without digital enhancement! Anyway, on our way back, they served
some rum drinks. Can't remember the name of it, but I know it's what I
drank for 4 (ok, 5) years of undergrad, and every sip I took reminded
me of a drunken night on a dance floor. And would you believe it, it
started to pour on our way back, and stopped just as we got off?

An interesting tidbit, is the
reason for the white sand on the bottom of the ocean there.
Apparently, the Parrotfish nibbles on coral all day, and produces so
much white poo, that it results in the white "sand." Think about that
next time you're on the beach and want to build a sandcastle or get
buried in the sand. ;-)So that was that, and the next day, we went to Turks/Caicos and we did
a glass-bottom boat/snorkel. It literally has a glass bottom, where you can be dry and sit and
look out the window, and you are 6 feet under water, so you see the
sea life beneath the surface. It's neat, because we went past the
'dropoff' which is where the sea floor does a straight drop from 20
feet deep to 8000 feet deep! Then they let us snorkel a little, and
the scene was the same. Same fish, different 'hood.

But a word about Grand Turk. Princess Cruises practically owns one
island of Turks. They developed it so they could dock there, and own
it for 10 years, after which they "return" the island to the locals. Yeah, weird, I know. I'm sure after 10 years, they will tell the locals that they'll stop docking there unless they get half the profits. See, it's all planned out to rip off the locals and put more money in their pockets.

Anyway, the place i's small, and the entire beach is about 1/4 mile from the ship, so
if you go in the water, it's in full view of the behemoth boat. And,
it's total Tourist center. The ONLY way to get to the beach is, yes,
to walk through the Duty-Free store. I kid you not. After you do so,
you must walk through Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville. Margaritaville is full of low-IQ beer guzzlers. Margaritaville, is the only place to eat in this area. Nowhere
else is food available.

And there is a huge pool there, just for
cruise passengers. It is filled to the brim with 18-to-21-year old
girls and college guys looking to hook up. They stand waist-deep in
the water holding their tall plastic pink cups of beer and daquiris
and other such drinkables. The girls drinks shots all day, and collect
the test tubes that the shots come in, and stick them in their bikini
bottoms, and walk around. The more shots you display, the cooler you
are. I'm sure most of these troublemakers are here on the sly, and
their families think they are babysitting the Parkers' children for
the weekend. Ooooh, no. They are in spring break mode. I have never
felt so old in my life.

Never. ever. ever.

It's a total MTV beach party! and they play drinking tunes quite
loudly, and there is nowhere to escape! Even if you want to walk around the shopping area, it's all tourist shops, and ALL the profits from the purchases go to Princess Cruises, since they set up shop there in the first place! I was amazed at the number of people who were too dense to realize this, even after being told much of the information, and actually thought they got to see a new country! PEOPLE! WAKE UP!

Sheesh, so after drinking a margarita (what else?) we headed back to
the ship for two more days at sea, heading home.

And the next day, was another "formal night." Good lord, as if the
first one wasn't enough, there are TWO! I almost wore jeans in silent
protest, but realized they wouldn't let us in the dining room unless
we were appropriately dressed. And for those lovely ladies and gents
who didn't bring any formal wear, you can rent a tuxedo on the boat,
or purchase black silk shirts with sequins all over the shoulders, just like Liza Minelli.

Buuuut, luckily, not as many people were as dressed up this time, I
think they were too tired to bother. We avoided the buffet for
dinner, since the dining room had much better food, on a menu that you
could customize.

The last day, we realized the menu was a total mishmash of leftovers.
Not kidding. Every item, at least on the veg menu, was a "Vegetable
terrine" or "Veggie medley" or "salad with mixed vegetables." They
did a good job of using up all the leftover veggies, but it was
painfully obvious, since the dishes didn't really go together that
well, in the attempt to use up food. A dish of Eggplant, rice,
avocado, and mango? I smell a conspiracy. But who cares, it tasted
good.

These last 2 days, we once again avoided the activities. Well, I did
attend a cooking show, where the head chef and maitre'd prepare some
foods in this huge theater they have on the ship, and tell you about
how much food they make per day. About 10 to 15 tons PER DAY! There
are 1100 staffers on the boat!

And that was all. Getting off the boat was chaos, with a little bit of
order. It was chaos, because a crowd such as this has no patience, and
gets all "Maude, have you seen Clyde? And where are Tom and Nancy, and
I haven't seen Kayla or the twins because we all have to stick
together, and if we're separated, we might not find each other once
we're off the boat, because who knows how long immigration will take,
and someone has to watch our bags, and once they call us to disembark,
it might take a while, because we have to find out where to go, yada
yada yada" And wouldn't you know it, it was (and still is) pouring
rain in NY as we get out. haha.
Cumin’s Full Rating Summary
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