Let me start by saying this was not my first cruise. We cruised last year on Royal Caribbean and we were forewarned about Carnival. WOW, were they right. We stayed at the Hyatt pre-cruise which was very nice. We arrived at the terminal and were shuffled around so much I was getting dizzy. I guess they don't realize that other cruise lines use there sea cards for door keys? We followed the others onto the ship and were on the Empress deck with no greeting or direction??? no welcome aboard please go up to the Lido desk where they are serving lunch?? So we decide to walk around ourselves and were told by an older gentlemen that we could not go a particular way so we said "where are we suppose to go?, up to the Lido deck for buffet. No music playing no one welcoming you, NO NOTHING... good start...The pool is so small the one in my backyard is bigger and they take up 1/2 of there's with a silly water slide. There was another small round pool in the stern. No pool open after 9 even though they told you they were open till 10. Hot tubs packed with kids, no separate one for adults. Also, closes early. We found our room and John and BEgo were our room stewards which they were helpful (they earned an extra tip). Later back up to the Lido deck still no music but they were pushing the drinks. There were two nites out of the four nights that there was nothing going on on the Lido deck? Why, are you not suppose to be out under the stars, dancing, eating, listening to music. I don't know why they bother to have a formal night. There is no entertainment in the dining room, nothing special. The captain's welcome was good with food and drinks. The at sea day they played calypso music and they would have sounded great if the speakers were not blasting the music. (don't I sound old)... Pizza was good, buffet served same stuff everyday, we would go to dining room for dinner, but had to order two of everything because I guess they felt show was more important than how much you got. I don't even remember our servers name, she was nice but nothing great. No entertainment in the dining room, no personal service, I felt like I was at a restaurant at home. She got not extra tip at the end. They also did not give you coupons to give to the stewards or servers to show that you tipped them, so I never got a thank you for the tipping I did thru the cruiseline, I did for extra tipping but that was because I handed to them. Larry in the piano bar was nice and fun. There was no help for excursions, you had to figure out which bus you were suppose to get on by yourself. They blocked the gangways with taking photos in Mexico as people were trying to get out and there were people about 5 floors up trying to disembark on the ship. People starting pushing the cruise people taking pictures out of the way. Whether it was Key West or Calica there was a drive to anywhere. The papers say 730 to 2 in Key West. Guess again, you have to leave Key WEst by 115 in order to get back in time so we can sail away by 2. In mexico on board by 930PM, but as usual we had to wait for quite afew people that could not tell time. But it was fun watching them run for the ship, entertainment. Both the places where the ship docked were not convenient at all, Calica was a dirt parking lot and Key WEst was on a Navy pier where you had to go through homeland security on the way back. Not close to anything at all (YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR). The cruise director was terrible. He was actually in the piano bar one night drinking with someone in the corner (real nice) I asked him why he was not upstairs on the Lido deck entertaining the passengers and hanging out at the Mexican buffet.?????he did not answer me. When they did have something going on on the Lido deck for games or something, the people were on a raised stage but the only ones involved in the "fun" were the people who were picked from the crowd and on the stage. Everyone that was sitting by the pool were "watching" the people but were never asked to get involved. Where was the cruise director? why were they not trying to get others involved? OH, that's right he was in the piano bar.? Do not stay in the middle of the ship as the elevators do not go all the way to the top floors, they only go to the cabins. So you have to walk all the way to the aft or stern to go up. The show had dancers so I guess you would have to like watching dancers for that. You could not walk around the whole ship. Apparently, the crew has the bow so we were not able to go there. I actually have a few goods things to say. The bedding was comfortable, the entertainment in the "little" clubs and karaoke was good. The comedian was good. They took alot of pictures and had setups all around the ship for pictures if you wanted them. Disembarkment was great, if you had a early flight you met in the library, got your luggage and you were off. they also offered if you wanted to carry off your luggage you could leave at about 6:30 to 7:00AM. We had a nice time because we made our own time, but I will never sail on a Carnival cruise line again. Frommer's guide calls it the "walmart" of cruising, they are so right. And don't forget if you are looking for the cruise director, "he is in the piano bar"......