My girlfriend won a "free" cruise with Bahamas Celebration, and we weren't expecting much, but somehow, Bahamas Celebration managed to fall short. Hey, free cruise, we figured. Oh, just pay taxes and fees? Well, ok. Oh, fuel surcharge? Mandatory gratuity? Hmm... getting less free... $25 charge to eat at the only restaurant that has food above (poor) fast food quality? Interesting. Oh, and there are absolutely no free drinks included with the cruise, everything is in the neighborhood of $9. No drinks even included in the extra fee for the nicer restaurant. What's included with your room, you might ask? Well, there's the room itself, and access to 2 "restaurants" that have food that is below the standard that even fast food establishments have. I have honestly had higher quality meals at Taco Bell. Want anything else? Something to drink, nicer food, any kind of entertainment? Better bring your wallet.

And it doesn't end with the price. The room was awful. The "king size bed" was 2 twins pushed together. Even that wouldn't have been so bad if there wasn't a metal bar running down the middle guaranteeing some uncomfortable nights. The bathroom's shower was something I'll laugh about for years to come. Not even a lip to divide the shower's floor from the rest of the bathroom, and the section that is split off by the curtain was cramped enough that I could touch both sides with my shoulders at the same time if I stood up straight. Avoid at all costs if you're claustrophobic at all. And the water pressure made it impossible to even wash the shampoo out of your hair or soap off your body. The first thing I did when I got home was take a real shower. And the announcements... good lord the announcements... I wish I had come to this site before going on the cruise so that I could have found out about the secret button behind the TV to turn them down.

Oh and the activities... A wonderful jaunt onto the island for a 2.5 hour (advertised as 1.5 hours on the flier) time share presentation that the guy signing people up conveniently failed to mention. I legitimately would not be able to afford more than a few hundred a year for such a thing, and we were very up front about that. The salesman assured us that they could work with us, and to just hear them out on what they had to offer instead of making up our minds, so we did. Their attempt to meet us halfway? $137 a month. For our troubles, we received a fast food quality lunch (better than what we got at the Rio restaurant, at least), tote bag, a few hours on the beach (where we were harassed by resort staff and locals trying to sell us junk for the entire time), and a shuttle ride to the local tourist trap market. Side note, real Cuban cigars don't cost $10 - found that out the hard way. Read more