Let's get right to it. I didn't like the Dream. I was on board for a week and felt it was too large a vessel for me. I'm more of a Legend guy. For those that are experienced Carnival customers, you know what Serenity is, and it is anything but on the Dream. I want my own adult pool for Serenity, on one level, accessible by elevator or escalator with an armed guard to prevent any children or teenagers from entering the area. Well, maybe not the armed guard, but certainly Serenity must be far enough away from a pool, area or hot tub where you can hear any little monsters screaming and doing cannon balls. I blame it all on Joe Farcus, who Carnival should have replaced long ago as their chief designer. One man should have never been commissioned to design so many cruise vessels.

I stood in front of the elevators on the last night of "our" Dream cruise and still had no idea where most things were. I felt I had to make too many connections and transfers to get from one place to another. There certainly needs to be more signs. Much of it has to do with my arch enemy -- the stairs. Carnival in all honesty does not handle passengers with stair problems very smartly. What you get is the elevator "stare". That's when a crew member just looks at you when you ask where the elevator is. It's happened on every Carnival cruise I've been on. "Excuse me, I have trouble with the stairs, every elevator has a X over it, where is the nearest available elevator?" Stare. It's like getting an error message on your computer screen when you know you did nothing wrong.

The stare is then accompanied by a look-see/glance-down of your legs to determine if you're as crippled as Bob Krachett's little son, Tiny Tim. What nonsense. Here's where you wonder about Carnival's training of their crew. In all fairness, Royal Caribbean has a similar problem. You've got to know your passengers. The proper response should be: "No problem sir, your nearest available elevator is -- insert easy to follow directions here". Future cruise ships should have no stairs, just elevators and escalators. To get to Serenity or your dining room on the Dream should not involve two elevator transfers, then having to walk up or down more stairs. There is a "secret" mini elevator to Serenity if you walk through the Spa, but why hide it? This is a good time to mention, that along with some other health issues, I have had double knee replacement surgery. So, to hell with stairs, anywhere. Read more