2 Carnival Miracle Cruise Reviews for Gay & Lesbian Cruises to Mexican Riviera

CUSTOMER SERVICE: Upon debarkation, our luggage was handled very poorly. We had bought a $50 bottle of tequila from Puerto Vallarta and had it bubble wrapped and taped and was put in our luggage. We wanted to debark by taking our own ... Read More
CUSTOMER SERVICE: Upon debarkation, our luggage was handled very poorly. We had bought a $50 bottle of tequila from Puerto Vallarta and had it bubble wrapped and taped and was put in our luggage. We wanted to debark by taking our own luggage but they didn't allow us to since we had too much to carry. We were forced to use their zone debarkation where they man-handle your stuff and toss it around like cavemen. This, in theory, was the more convenient choice. We took our luggage home by car (no flights) and opened up the luggage to give our loved one the gift we had promised to find the glass smashed inside the bubble wrap. Pomegranate liquor seeped through our clothing and destroyed them. Hundreds of dollars of clothing were ruined because someone from Carnival could not treat our property with care. We called Carnival customer service to see if there was anything they could do, since we didn't buy from their "recommended shop" they didn't cover it. Who buys from recommended shops anyway if you want something authentic? Their response was "You didn't open the luggage on Carnival property and report it upon debarkation, therefore we aren't liable for the damage." OK carnival.... Next time, I'll unpack on the curb like everyone else does? We got a "sorry, we can't do anything about it." No compensation, no maybe we'll discount your next cruise with us, nothing. We love cruising, but if you want quality customer service, Carnival is not the way to go. It's the last time we'll be going with them. We dropped over 2.5 grand on this trip including extra gratuities. They lost our business for life and/or any recommendations to their cruise line. SHIP: This was our first ship and even we could tell the ship was small. We explored its entirety the first day of the cruise. The only interesting decks were 2, 3 and of course the Lido deck. They kept everything clean but the decor was crazy. Imagine if you were on drugs and decided to be an interior designer then laced it with something when you designed the Bacchus Dining Room. We loved the Phantom Theater and the Mad Hatter's Lounge. The Serenity deck was also very nice, peace, quiet, hot tub, pool and a bar! FOOD: If you go out to eat a lot.. and I'm not talking Chili's, Denny's or McDonald's.. but if you're a foodie and try out new restaurants frequently, you will be entirely disappointed in the food on the ship. Sometimes I found myself craving fast food just to get it over with because the food on the ship was lacking. My favorite dish was the Flatiron Steak, their baguettes were very good and so were their croissants. Dessert-wise I would recommend the chocolate melting cake or the sorbets (although they were frostbitten they still tasted OK). We dined at Nick & Nora's Steakhouse one night and wished all their food was to that caliber. If you have the money, go here every day. You're not missing anything in the Bacchus Dining Room. By the way, they don't check the dress code at all (could be a good or a bad thing). But some guy came in a camoflauge scrubs top and cargo shorts with Jesus sandals. They let him in, so don't worry about dressing up. I didn't mind the guy, but just FYI for everyone wondering about dress code. Lido Deck food was worse than hometown buffet. Also think about the type of people who go on bargain cruises... I watched a guy drop tongs on the floor, pick them back up and put them in the serving tray then walk away. Maybe he missed the talk on germs when he was little. Room service food was worse than a 6 year old with an easy-bake. How can you get grilled cheese wrong??? (Soft bread that looked like it was toasted an hour ago w/3 slices of cheese, softened, not melted. You can still discriminate between slices.... really?) This made me sad. ENTERTAINMENT: The comedy was OK. They try to liquor you up with a lot of cheaper priced drinks to make you think everything is hilarious but they were too racist, even the family friendly show. We were planning on going to all of the comedy shows the last 2 nights of the cruise but the last 2 comedians were so bad that we went to 1 of each and decided they were too bad to sit through. There were 4 comedians throughout the cruise but the only good comedian on the ship was Lowell Sanders, the rest... crickets. Frankenstein's Lab was really cool. They had a disco-ish dance floor and a DJ and everybody who comes just wants to have a good time. No judging. We enjoyed that a lot! The casino is rigged. The arcade-like games are super-rigged. They had weird min/max bets, $6/500 instead of 5/2000? I'm sure there's a sneaky reason behind that. Best show on the ship was the Marriage and Love show. Super hilarious. Don't miss this. Worst show on the ship was the Talent Show. They should just call it "Glorified Karaoke Night." Glorified because you have a 10-piece band instead of an audio recording of a song. Nobody had another talent other than singing and/or playing the guitar. SERVICE ONBOARD: By far the only/best thing I can say about this cruise. You are treated like kings and queens on the cruise. Everyone remembers your name and gives you 110% of their attention when you need something. Our room steward (Pande) was THE BEST. They clean your room at least twice a day and always greet you with a smile. The dining room staff was extremely professional and memorable. The cruise director (Troy Linton) was a really friendly looking guy but he kind of needed to censor himself sometimes. He'd make adult jokes and not realize it. There was also a point in the cruise when we were in our staterooms changing our clothes and we heard "PSST. (5 sec pause) PSSSSST (pause again)" we thought there was someone hiding in our closet and flipped out. Trying to throw on a blanket or jump under the sheets. The pssst's were followed by an announcement and we nearly pissed ourselves. Other than that, he did a good job with announcements and organizing things.   Read Less
Sail Date January 2014
I will note that our cruise was an Atlantis cruise (a gay cruise charter) and so I am unable to review certain elements that were provided by Atlantis, rather than Carnival. Embarcation: We paid for the "Faster to the Fun" ... Read More
I will note that our cruise was an Atlantis cruise (a gay cruise charter) and so I am unable to review certain elements that were provided by Atlantis, rather than Carnival. Embarcation: We paid for the "Faster to the Fun" upgrade and were able to bypass the line. I can't suggest this enough. Carnival's embarcation process is as dehumanizing and stressful as a TSA checkpoint on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. People stood in line for three hours. Some people almost missed the ship even though they were there two hours prior to departure. Staff were rude and pushy and barked orders at us if we so much as took a wrong step. I certainly would expect better of a company that operates these cruises on a weekly basis. Physical Accommodation/Cabin Amenities: The ship is comfortable and stable. Air conditioning in the cabin keeps them very comfortable even in very hot and humid weather. The cabins, while smaller than a standard hotel room, are spacious enough. Our extended balcony faced aft and offered us a small "extra room" when one of us wanted to watch TV but the other wanted to just read. Water pressure was good and both hot and cold water were readily available (although our sink's cold water was a bit of a trickle). There is a mini-bar that is freely accessible (in case you need to bring any refrigerated medications or such). Our cabin was located at the extreme rear and there was a bit more movement so far from the ship's center of gravity and a small amount of vibration from the propellers/diesels, but this actually helped me sleep. My only complaint is that the main lights in the cabin are achingly bright, but there are smaller lights that can be turned on to offer a less actinic glare. Decor/Public Rooms: The decor is almost impossible to describe, but it is absolutely *hideous.* There is an eye-watering cacophany of clashing color, bizarre fixtures, nonsensical themes (a Spartan warrior here, a pirate captain there, Atlas holding up a light fixture over here, a reference to Dr. Strangelove over here, lights that look like multicolored pepper grinders hanging from the ceiling, random faux-Italian frescoes). We couldn't stop laughing at it. That said, once embarcation was over, we didn't feel like the ship was crowded (it felt really crowded during embarcation, but that's to be expected). Elevators usually came quickly and made minimal stops. There were adequate whirpools (although the ship could use one or two more). The gym is nice, but lacks open floor space for stretching. The theater is nice, but the decor is distracting from the show. I don't use the casinos. Entertainment: Was organized by Atlantis, not Carnival. So I won't review it. Service: Our cabin steward was top-notch, friendly, personable, and quickly learned our habits. They make the keeeUTEst little towel animals for you to find at turn-down. On the other hand, dining room service was spotty. I once ordered a drink and it was delivered when I was almost finished with the main course. Sometimes appetizers were delivered only seconds before the main course and then the waiter would have to vanish with the main course only to bring the now-lukewarm dishes back later. The other REALLY annoying thing was the bar waiter. On one night, I was pestered four times IN THE SAME MINUTE by four different waiters about whether I wanted a drink. And when I say "pestered," I mean tapped on the shoulder and conversation interrupted. It was extremely annoying and they have no way to signal to other waiters that a given table is not interested in a drink right now. The service was so obtrusive that I actually complained. Apparently a lot of us did and it got better on subsequent nights. Shore excursions: We only did the Eco-Snorkeling in Cabo San Lucas, but it was quite fun if you like snorkeling. Saw a lot of cool stuff. I heard fantastic things about the zipline adventure in Puerto Vallarta, but we didn't do it. Food: Ranged from adequate to at times wholly inadequate. It was cheap, often swimming in greasy gravies and there were very few healthy options. Fruit was often under-ripe and melons sometimes still had bits of rind attached, while pineapple slices weren't even cored. Tomatoes at the salad bar were over-ripe and almost inedible. The dining room food was slightly better, but still unpredictable and the portions were small. There was one night where I went to bed hungry because the food was so inadequate that I couldn't eat it (and I promise I'm not a picky or snobby eater). I cannot recommend this ship and next time I will be happy to pay a bit more to enjoy a better experience. Read Less
Sail Date November 2013
Carnival Miracle Ratings
Category Editor Member
Cabins 4.0 4.4
Dining 3.5 4.0
Entertainment 4.0 3.8
Public Rooms 4.0 4.3
Fitness Recreation 3.5 4.0
Family 4.0 4.0
Shore Excursion 3.0 4.0
Enrichment 1.5 3.5
Service 4.0 4.4
Value For Money 4.5 4.1
Rates 3.0 4.4

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