OK, cruisers of a certain age -- you might not be the kids in America anymore. Luckily, you can book a trip on an '80s theme cruise that brings out your inner child, circa 1985. We're pushing 50, and we're here to tell you that The 80s Cruise is about the most fun you can have since that party by the lake with all your friends the year after graduation.
Here are 10 ways The 80s Cruise will help you relive your youth.
1. Everyone Is Your Age
It's a little weird at first to walk onto a ship and see everyone within your same demographic. The 80s Cruise is almost entirely made up of passengers ages 40 to 65 -- that means no kids, no millennials, no Greatest Generation. With everyone raised in the era before helicopter parenting, you know your fellow cruise mates rode their bikes wherever they wanted, and after-school consisted of free time, not a constant schedule of planned activities.
2. Everyone Knows the Lyrics
Music in the '80s was incredibly diverse, ranging from pop to rock to heavy metal to funk to new wave. And yet somehow, the lyrics to all these random music styles have been permanently lodged in our brains. It's extremely gratifying to see an '80s cover band like Jessie's Girl tear into an '80s one-hit wonder -- and realize that everyone around you also knows the words! (How we can remember those and not know where our cabin keycard is remains a mystery.)
Let's face it, the younger generation just doesn't party the way '80s kids did. Maybe it's the fact that we didn't have internet or social media. Or maybe it's because our parents didn't know where we were much of the time. On The 80s Cruise, you're back in party mode, where the alcohol is flowing and strangers are more likely to high-five you than stare into their smartphones. No kids and no driving make parents even more inclined to cut loose (footloose!).
The culmination of most '80s high school rom-coms took place at the prom. Whether you were a geek or glam, the annual dance was primarily a dates-only, must-attend event. The 80s Cruise allows you to do the prom all over again, this time your way. Dress in a vintage strapless, resurrect a bubble skirt or go Goth; it's all rad. No one is a poser anymore.
We get it -- back in the day, it was considered lame to wear an actual costume to a party. But now you're older and you no longer care what people think (plus, you have disposable income and awesome skills from helping your kids through Halloween). Every night is a theme night on The 80s Cruise, and passengers put a lot of thought and creativity into their creations. Don't be afraid to go big. Maybe you'll go home with a bitchin' prize (and lots of admiration from your fellow cruisers).
The 80s Cruise is, first and foremost, a music cruise -- and the acts keep playing. On a sea day, you'll have up to five or six opportunities to see bands or DJs spinning the hot tunes that kept you jamming back in the day. Don't worry about the late nights. There's something about all this music that keeps you fired up. We were rocking out like we were 18 again, keeping late nights and grabbing slices on the go. Sleep? "When you're dead" is always the right answer.
Do parents swear when their kids aren't around? No duh! If you don't like profanity, then The 80s Cruise is probably not your bag. We lost count at how many "F-yeahs" were thrown from the stage. There's a certain childish delight in being able to curse at will. Throwing the devil horns -- a habit of '80s heavy metal bands -- was also common.
We remember why we were so skinny when we were young. It wasn't just our awesome metabolism; it was the fact that we were always on the go, booking from classes and concerts to the convenience store. On The 80s Cruise, you can burn calories the old-fashioned way by dancing your a-- off (see, we told you, we can't stop with the swearing). Or you can get physical in an '80s-style aerobics class, complete with Olivia Newton-John headbands and leg warmers.
9. '80s Games
If you're looking to veg for an hour or so, The 80s Cruise has got you covered with board and arcade games from your youth. We played a mean game of Trouble while sipping wine, and we saw another group all tied up with Twister. Donkey Kong, Ms. Pacman and Q*bert all made an appearance in full-sized arcade games. Wocka wocka wocka!
10. '80s Silliness
One of the hallmarks of the '80s is the sheer ridiculousness of the fashion. Neon? Permed hair? Alf? (To say that '80s sitcoms were light on concept is an understatement.) On The 80s Cruise, it's hilarious to go back in time and realize you -- yes, you! -- once worshipped at the altar of Madonna 1983 with mesh tank tops, lace gloves and tulle bows in your hair.
The next 80s Cruise takes place March 8 to 15, 2020, as an all-inclusive sailing on Explorer of the Seas. Bands announced so far include the B-52s, Berlin, Patty Smyth of Scandal, Tony Hadley of Spandau Ballet, Tony Lewis of The Outfield, Asia, Big Country, The Motels, Lita Ford, Bow Wow Wow and more. Go to the80scruise.com for more information.