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Norwegian Epic Cruise Review by Phantom Droppings

Home > Reviews > Member Reviews > Norwegian Epic Cruise Review by Phantom Droppings
Norwegian Epic
Norwegian Epic
Member Name: Phantom Droppings
Cruise Date: November 2011
Embarkation: Miami
Destination: Eastern Caribbean
Cabin Category: MX
Cabin Number: 8049
Booking Method: Cruise Line
See More About: Norwegian Epic Cruise Reviews | Eastern Caribbean Cruise Reviews | NCL Cruise Deals
Member Rating   3.0 out of 5+
Dining 2.0
Public Rooms 2.0
Cabins 3.0
Entertainment 3.0
Spa & Fitness 5+
Family & Children Not Rated
Shore Excursions 5+
Embarkation 5+
Service 5+
Value-for-Money 3.0
Rates 2.0
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Ship Facts: Norwegian Epic Review (by Cruise Critic!) | Norwegian Epic Deck Plans
The Epic was an epic disappointment!
Food: The only good meal we had was in Moderna which was Brazilian style food and cost us $20 per person. The free food was worse than cafeteria food! I had French Onion soup that had NO onions in it! Food was flavorless with a mediocre selection. The only food that looked appetizing required a co-pay. Room service menu was pathetic! They even charged $5 for a pizza! The kitchen seemed to not be equipped with seasonings...not even salt and pepper! Everything was so bland! That has never been my experience on a cruise, especially with Norwegian!! This may be the first cruise that I actually lost weight!

Cabins: They were very unique and visually attractive but we had a large balcony. We had friends with a regular balcony and there wasn't enough floor space to pass each other trying to get from one end of cabin to the other! Worst part was the design of the bathroom! You enter the room and the toilet is to your right and the shower to your left. They were inclosed in frosted glass and all that separated them from the main part of a cabin was a curtain you could close. If your room service was being delivered while you are showering or using the toilet, you had NO privacy...no way to get to main part of cabin without walking through the bathroom. I have never seen a front door enter a living space through a bathroom. I hated that! The bed seemed to be a few inches shorter than a standard bed. I am 6 feet tall and while asleep my feet would hang over the edge several inches, my husband would have to wake me to get around my legs to get to the bathroom in the night. BAD design!

Entertainment: Blue Man Group was the highlight of the week! Very high end entertainment for a cruise! The Legends concert featured Lady Gaga, which I hated, Steven Tyler, who I like in real life but this guy just looked like him...his voice wasn't even close! They had to mix the sound in a way that drowned out his voice whenever there was a need for a high note. Then there was Elvis. This guy looked like Patrick Swayze not Elvis. One of the worse Elvis impersonators that I have seen. They are everywhere and this was all that Norwegian could come up with? I couldn't wait to get out of the auditorium! I did really enjoy the dueling piano lounge! I think they called it "Howl at the Moon". These guys were way underpaid considering they were almost as good as the Blue Man Group and left virtually nothing else to get excited about. We did pay for the Cirque du Dreams. Food was the worst on the ship! About 1/3 of the audience could actually see the performance the rest were sitting behind posts and had their view blocked by a low ceiling and too many heads to look around. Who knows if the show was good or not.

Public Rooms: Way too much smoke! Low ceilings and dark decor made you feel cramped...yes, the 4,000 passengers added to that feeling. Not nearly enough elevators! We had times when we had to wait for 30 minutes to get one. I would have taken the stairs but I would have needed a para-medic after climbing 14 flights of stairs! It felt like Norwegian decided to build the largest ship on the seas so they could add more cabins, more people and more money in their pockets. The only customer perk I saw was Blue Man Group. You pay alot more to sail with the Epic...which would make you think that maybe it was a better cruise. NOPE!

Shore Excursions: Orient Beach on St. Maarten was very nice. The lunch provided was disgusting! We went on shore in Nassau on the Sun and Beach getaway at the Wyndham. They should have just pulled a gun and robbed us, that would have been less frustrating! NO sun! Pool was shaded by the hotel and not heated, actually colder than the ocean! The beach was dirty, full of bottlecaps, shards of plastic and lined with ancient lounge chairs covered in black mold! They provided a snack lunch of a horrible ham and cheese sandwich with a bag of chips and bag of icky cookies in a box. Oh yes, and a bottle of water! We paid $60 per person for this miserable experience. We did complain at the cruise desk when we returned for we lost an entire day of our cruise to total frustration and no sun. They refunded 30% and didn't apologize. Guy at desk said that he had been there and didn't find it to be bad. I guess he likes black mold on broken lounge chairs? Norwegian should be embarrassed to have their good name connected to this shore excursion!

I know that most readers didn't get this far in my review. I apologize for using more detail than what may have been necessary. I needed to do this in order to deal with my disappointment! But if you are considering paying around $400 per person more for a cruise on the Epic instead of a comparable cruise, know that you will be disappointed! This left such a sour taste in my mouth that it is difficult to even consider sailing with Norwegian in the future! I think they have lost their way and are now just out for the money!

Publication Date: 11/22/11
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