Most cruise ships have a few bits that passengers don't like. Carnival Conquest has nothing good.
The Cabins are not too bad but that's it.
The boat drill in Galveston is a FIASCO. In 100 degrees on a stationary ship it is dangerous to put passengers through that. I have experienced many cruise lines and many ships and have never experienced that! With Carnival they don't care if passengers drop dead at the boat drill. By holding it while in port they don't have to close the casino and shops as they would do if they held it the following morning as every decent cruise line does, not a good start!
The open dining fails miserably. After waiting and hour to get a table first night we switched to timed dining. There is no atmosphere in the dining room and being pre-tipped the staff don't care. Having bought a five bottle of wine package even the most inexperienced staff would work out that its likely on a seven day cruise that we would probably want one each evening but no we had to ask EVERY night.
The food is very poor and the service slow and unfriendly. If Carnival paid the staff their tips properly and on time then they would be more motivated and likely to give a decent level of service. Unfortunately they hold onto the money paid for the staff for as long as they can hence the dreadful service.
The cabins are a decent size but our cabin steward didn't introduce himself for three days! I didn't expect to be charged for water in the cabin either. I don't mean from the fridge either just bottled water left on the table.
The captains evening is a waste of time. It was difficult to determine the dress code as even the staff didn't observe it. The formal evenings traditionally on Day 2 and Day 6 Carnival can't even get that right so they have the second formal night a day early so that they have an extra day to sell pictures.
The "entertainment" is the worse I have ever experienced. The cruise director Paul telling ancient jokes for sympathetic laughs.
Everything with Carnival is about money and the passengers are secondary.
Shore excursions are about the worst. My family made our own transport to Dunns river falls in Jamaica and including the entrance fee it worked out about $50 each. Carnival wanted nearly THREE times that.
We booked the Dolphin experience as I knew my children would love it and I was happy to pay myself in order to photograph them. Only when we were squeezed into a tiny bus and bounced across the island were we told that we couldn't take pictures. This was never discussed when we bought the tickets (in person).
I explained I was happy to stay at the side to take the children's pictures but no Carnival's greed extends to the far reaches of the ports that they visit and they have to protect their commission from the photographers at the Dolphin site.
Passengers returning to the ship with us had bought on board a $250 waterproof camera specifically for the Dolphins and like us they were furious.
In keeping with the rest of the ship the shore excursions staff were arrogant and incompetent. I explained to them that I have forgotten more about cruises and excursions than they will ever know and have done dolphin experiences in several places worldwide. Having completed and incident report at the venue they claimed that they would "investigate" but obviously did not. I have never encountered the arrogance and incompetence in any environment let alone a cruise ship.
I was advised to put my complaint in writing while on board which I did. Rather foolishly I expected Carnival to make a few enquiries and to contact me but no. The common courtesy of a reply to my numerous complaints is too much for this shoddy third rate outfit.
Don't touch them with a bargepole-This is NOT cruising.