Background to a lengthy review!This was my boyfriend and mine's FIRST CRUISE and we were BEYOND excited! I am in school for Special Education credentialing (aka, jobless student) and the BF is a programmer. We're both mid 20s, relaxed, like to have fun, a few drinks, but were really worried we'd be stuck with a bunch of hot drunken messes in min skirts once we bored ;) I don't know about the BF, but I'd done my drunken tropical vacations when I was younger and wasn't looking forward to another! Luckily, we found an AWESOME roll call on Cruise Critic and planned some events that we'd all try to participate in! the majority of the Roll call was 50+, but there were a few "kids" our age that happened to be more mature than the average 25 year olds... so that was nice!This review will cover EVERYTHING I can think of from the VACTION (not just the cruise) including Carnival Content, flights, excursions, booking, transport, extras etc.... If you're only interested in Carnival, just press Ctrl+F and type in "Carnival" and you can skim faster... I'm a bit of a hotel, food, coffee, customer service & entertainment snob - so keep that in mind as you read. I used to travel the country training in customer service (and am SLIGHTLY published, lol) and have personally worked in both the food & entertainment business (not at the same time of course) and have received training in both. First Cruise = First Review! Please, be kind! ;)Booking/Communicating with Carnival & Travelocity: ***** (not in overall score)Well, we booked through Travelocity, so we didn't talk to Carnival much until the itinerary changed (skipping Mazatlan). They aren't technically allowed to give us details since we booked through third party (yay OBC)! - but because I was stressed about planning my excursions I got passed to a supervisor who DID give me the new itinerary... yay! It turns out that the email got bounced back from Carnival to Travelocity about the change - so right after I got off the phone with CCL, I called Travelocity... Travelocity was REALLY, REALLY great! They helped me whenever they could and we even got $100 OBC when we originally were supposed to get $50 - can't complain!Carnival's Fly Aweigh Program: ***Delta SFO - LAX. Booked us with LOTS of in between time... I mean LOTS! But I'm the kind of gal that get's the airport with 45min to spare so I don't have to wait around. I guess it's better to be safe than sorry. I DO wish they would have put us on a Jet Blue flight though - we could have landed in LGB (25min vs 50 min drive) AND had free checked luggage - Hey, $25/bag isn't' cheap when you don't work ;) But... we did NOT miss the ship, so I can't REALLY complain much can I?! ;)Delta Flight: ***** (not in Overall Score)We were on one of the more regional jets (aka, very tiny) so all of our carryons have to be checked at the gate. Both flights the person receiving our luggage was very nice and grabbing it only took 3 extra minutes. This seems totally worth it to be able to get out of the plane and wait vs the epic waiting for passengers to get their own carryons from the overhead bins ;)I'm generally not a fan of the "Legendary" carriers, but Delta is an exception. The staff is always as nice as Jet Blue, Southwest and Virgin even if the company itself is pretty stuffy ;) they even cracked a smile at seeing me (6'1") and my BF (6'5") ducking under the emergency exit signs (something we'd do late on the ship too, haha!)Each flight only took 55min as these smaller jets are faster to board, fly, and debark from... making fun of the Sky Mall catalogs is just enough entertainment for the trip!Super Shuttle: ****Heck, transfers for $14.50/person was AWESOME! the drivers were super nice and when we disembarked the LGB terminal was so packed I thought we'd be late. We called super shuttle and the gal I spoke with was SO nice "I'll change your booking to 12:30pm, if you get there early, just let the desk know and you can get on the first available shuttle" which was GREAT because we actually got through at 10:15am and were on a shuttle leaving the terminal by 10:15am! 4/5 because the first van sucked...Embarkation: ***Ick. I knew it would be bad. I mean, I have very little to compare to which is why I'm giving it a 3/5. I was EXTREAMLY happy that the majority of the waiting was either indoors or under protection! THANK YOU CARNIVAL! The "ick" factor is something that Carnival CAN NOT HELP! I understand the limits of surrounds and having 3K passengers all at once and actually think they dealt with it pretty darn well!It is now 11:30am and we have the option of checking our luggage with Carnival after being dropped off at the terminal - we have 2 carryon and 1 bag so we opted not to (as I didn't know WHERE it would end up after being checked - and I'm cheap!). We'd heard that otherwise we may not get our bags until that evening - and I REALLY wanted to change after the flight... for everyone's sake ;)It turns out that MOST of the luggage is delivered by about 4pm, but it's left OUTSIDE of your room (which kind of freaks me out)... but at least it's not 6-9pm!We had our initial check in INSDIE of the Queen Mary (which I thought was AWESOME!) because it was EVER SO SLIGHTLY sprinkling (welcome to Spring in Ca!). Before we got into the QM, we had to wait in a line outside where they would let 15 people at a time in to prevent crowding. My BF and I dressed for the weather (jeans and hoodies) so it didn't bother us much. Others were brilliant and brought umbrellas, while still others brought nothing and proceeded to yell (yes, YELL) at the man who relayed to us who could go into the QM next (who was also brilliant enough to bring an umbrella!). The BF and I were super nice to him to try and compensate - I mean, he doesn't control the line let alone the weather! I don't know about anyone else, I was just happy it wasn't 90 degrees! Once inside the line moved VERY quickly! We were given a paper with instructions that after checking in we'd go through screening, then we should proceed to the Lido deck for lunch and be could be in our rooms by 2pm. We filled out a health survey, went up to a counter and were helped by a REALLY nice young name named "Alejandro" (he has the cutest faux hawk!). We presented out passports, credit card for the sign & sail, and were given our S&S cards and a "zone" number. We were then directed to a covered area to wait for out zone to be called... we were the first ones in Zone 11 - so we waited. It took about 45min for our zone to be called, so we passed the time by dancing to the Caribbean music (which is odd when it's drizzling) and talking to a couple from our CC Roll Call who happened to be in our "zone" too!Once called we proceeded to the terminal. By now the rain had stopped and it was sunny and warm (Yay!) The LGB Cruise terminal workers weren't NEARLY as nice as the Carnival employees we'd met on the QM... but I have a thing against yelling at people. The screening process only took a bit and soon we were getting ready to board!Wait, no... first EVERYONE has to pose for a Carnival Cruise line Photo Op... really? I just got off a flight and have been in the rain for 45min... Sure... Fine... "CHEESE!" - *Poof!* and we're on our way!We follow the other passengers across the bridge like thingy and end up on the 3rd deck Splendor Atrium... "Woah!" says the BF... I've been doing all of the planning and knew what to expect, but he was REALLY blown away by the size considering we were on a ship. As we walk to the elevators I starting telling him the stats of the ship and his engineer self starts to get all excited! It's now about 1pm...Our Cloud 9 Spa Interior Stateroom: ****We press the button for Deck 10 (where our room is) instead of 9 (Lido) and everyone start telling us how our rooms won't be ready... I don't care, I just don't want to be around 3,000 hungry, grumpy passengers ;) We get off at Deck 10 and see much of the luggage that had been checked on large trolley carts and the stewards hard at work preparing rooms... it's about 1pm and we're an hour early! We wheel our luggage outside to the farward exterior (very close to our room) and just chill out for about 20 min... go over the FUNTIMES and highlight what we want to do... It was nice and relaxing to get away for a bit. When we head back in, we see that people's luggage has just been left out front of their rooms... so so we ask the stewards if we can do the same "What room are you in? *show him* Oh! Go right in! We're done!" - AWESOME!Okay, I expected our room to be small, dark, and cramped... but it was PERFECT! Our bathroom was HUGE and that's really what made the difference (we're a couple that showers together... and we're giants, so being able to do that was a VERY big plus!)Everything else is compact, which forces you to be tidy - but after we got extra hangers from the stewards we were able to move right in after dinner! I only give the room 4/5 because of one rather large-ish issue... the beds were REALLY hard. We did end up getting a "pad" aka extra comforter under the sheets, but having joint issues this didn't really help much :( Also, the pillows are feather, so they have zero support no matter how many you have. I had to sleep on my back every night (which is not conducive to cuddling) because if I was on my side my shoulder would KILL me after about an hour... bummer. A smaller issue was there was no freezer in our mini fridge - which I know most people won't care about. But, again, having back issues it would have been nice to be able to freeze my ice pack as the medical center has NONE (that's right, none) on the ship... they gave me a zip lock to put ice in - yeah.Other than that, I didn't care about only having one plug - all I plugged in were my curlers anyhow. There was AMPLE space to store/hang things and the fridge was a great size.Spa Amenities: ***** The means that you get full access to the Thalassotherapy pool, the thermal suites, and 2 free fitness classes (like I'd use those, lol). In your stateroom you also get a spa robe (+), cute and VERY comfy spa slippers (++ for me, but the BF's Ogre feet didn't fit - so I got TWO PAIRS!), and Elmis toiletries (-) which really were kind of terrible - but I bring my own anyways ;) The thalassotherapy pool more than made up for my sore joint BTW - My upper back had been hurting for WEEKS because a rib was displaced. Even after being adjusted it just plain HURT! I'm not into holistic blah, blah, blah... but after the first time in the pool - by back hasn't hurt since! We were in that thing DAILY and so happy to have it! Although - it DID turn a white swimsuit yellowish - but I'd read about that and didn't take heed... Food: ****4/5 because I wanted more ethnically diverse foods at dinner. There are "classy" Indian, Chinese, Mexican options for dinner too and having that as an option in the MDR would have been great! Lunches: The overall variety was really nice! I do wish that the non-Anglo foods served at lunch buffet style could be served more often (and not just for 2/5 - 3 hours), but I understand the crew limits and that setting up for dinner (the main event really) takes time. Dinner & MDR: I never did get to the Lido for dinner, we ate in the MRD late seating (Black pearl with Glen [from St. Vincent] & Darko Cvetkovic [from Croatia] pairing up as the BEST wait staff EVER - seriously... we stalked them throughout the cruise to say hello because they were awesome to speak to!) 6/7 nights, opting for room service the 2nd formal night because we just wanted some "alone time". All in all I was happy with the quality, but then again I understand buffet and catering limitations and ordered my food accordingly!The portion sizes are PERFECT in that they are small... the waiters encouraged us to order multiple items so that we could sample things and I think it was a good idea (sticks for the dish staff though)! We always left happily full and only gained 2 lbs on the cruise miraculously! The desserts were VERY good most times but stay away from SPA Carnival desserts... I won't forgive them for calling a Pumpkin GelEe a "pumpkin pie"! Darko made the best cappuccinos and we chose to sit and relax since we could at the late seating (not 2nd seating set up rush) and it was nice to chat with the staff once most people had left until it was time to head to the next show.Note: beef comes out more done than it technically "should", but this is common in mass appeal situations - most people cook their food to death and like it that way. But if you are specific, it will some out right ;) Breakfast: We ate in the MDR for both of our port days. Once in a big table - where I wanted to smack one of my table mates. And once as a table for 2 where everything was PERFECT! Room Service: We got most of our breakfasts through room service and all but on time (when we did the rise and shire pre order) everything was great! Once, when we were trying to tip the gal said "Oh, no tip please!" and snatched the sheet from me after I signed it - this made me want to tip her MORE though! But she just winked and left ;)Sure they are limited, but everything they COOK is REALLY nice and they catered to me being picky... I'm the kind of person that reads what's offered and can put together other meals based on that - and room service obliged (and I tipped the cook especially on my S & S for it) - My recommendation: ask for sliced tomatoes, sliced mozzarella, basil aioli and salt & pepper - the best thing we ate all week - there produce and cheese is to die for!!! Entertainment: ****The Main Stage: The Good - the prop Comic and especially the CCL shows "Vroom" & "Festival Latina", and the Ballet Folkloric show. The costumes for these CCL shows were WONDERFUL and while there was nothing in the choreography that was post 2006 (for those of us who are into that sort of thing) the dancers did a wonderful job with what they were given - especially considering they were ON A FRICKIN' BOAT while dancing!. The vocals were varied and pretty impressive in these shows and I found myself singing a long a LOT of the time!!!!!The prop comic was hysterical and was a blast to watch. I got called up to put him in the straight jacket and he even let me razz the BF a bit on stage which is always fun ;)The Mexican Folkloric dances were perfect for the Spectacular theater. It's really dancing that you have to close by to appreciate and there put lots of energy into the dancing. The announcer was FANTASTIC and the singing was even better. They sang a song in Japanese that made me tear up a bit after they would a Japanese couple (the only one on the ship almost) and everyone stood up to cheer and clap - it was really beautiful! The Bad - The opening number on the first night of the cruise. Oh my god was it bad. I know that EVERYONE has to do the "Fun Ship" Dance, but Jesus! The beards should get on top of THAT soon ;) "Why?" you ask... a few reasons... again, keeping in mind that I'm an entertainment snob... Costumes: the poor female dancers have to go from SUPER CUTE white, short, Navy uniforms that had my BF saying "You can SO wear that!" to unfortunately unflattering, far too revealing (I mean, I LOVE to see skin, but the RIGHT skin! Flesh colored fishnets and thong = all right!) Carnival Colored 2 pieces. These dancers have AMAZING bodies and I don't want anyone to feel self conscious, but I do hope that they revolt against the theatrical director on this one. NO WOMAN wants to have short shorts with saggy butt cheeks sew in and a low cut 4in notch RIGHT below her "pooch" in the front (yes, every woman has one) over fishnets which that have no supports until the CINCH you in right at the widest part of your body to make way for those DAMN low rise shorts! *Whew* Let me take a breath.... Choreography: The performers did what they had to do, but it was really unfortunate and honestly, my BF had to convince me to go to the show the 2nd night (which I'm happy he did) because the first night lead me to believe that the dancers were terrible which just pissed me off since I know how hard the auditions for them are from friends! So... Imagine there terrible costumes above paired with flesh tone heeled "character shoes"... now imagine these poor women having to do HIP HOP choreography in them... with flexed feet, stomping, crouching, and isolations. "Okay ladies, we're going to fully expose your midsections, squish you into unflattering costumes, heels, and make you move in quick, abdomen contracting movements and then have you raise your legs like you're a boy dog taking a whiz... but you aren't to do ANY turns or leaps okay?" Let me be straight - the SINGERS, DANCERS, BAND, and CREW were ALL GREAT! However, there is no amount of "energy" that can make that show good... and I'm mainly irritated because after the first performance I didn't want to return because I thought it was ALL going to be that bad - but honestly, the other performance were TERRIFIC!Lastly, I had to leave the carnival Legends show after 4.5 passenger numbers (along with quite a few people). I know this is hit or miss, but the first 4 were solid misses, the 5th I'd given up. Nothing like a fellow passenger sing/screaming the lyrics to a song they don't know... I do LOVE the concept and maybe if they cut the number of Passenger performers in half and used the real singers to perform in between it would be fun (and bearable) ;)Punch liner Comedy: ***4/5 because I only whet to the Punchliner twice and while the comedian's delivery was spot on - the jokes were super stale. I'm guessing most people were either drunk or not used to live comedy, but yeah... I laughed a few times and then got tired. Cruise Director's Show(s): *****They were ALWAYS entertaining and funny! Of course the Marriage show was great and the daily morning shows were just fun to watch if I was up. Really, it's Felipe Couto and Marcelo Alvarado's interactions that made things great! Public Spaces: ***We didn't get in the Lido pool once, nor the Adults only pool... there were just too many people to do anything but sit... so we went to the Spa. Other than this and breakfast buffet the last morning, finding a place to put yourself was not too difficult... but the lack of wet spaces was a real bummer... refer below to my "adults only" rant ;)Enrichment / Activates: *This was the one of two parts that I really felt was lacking. The first two days at sea had more to do than anyone had time for (and all at once), but then... after that... it just kind of fell off. I mean, how many games of trivia can one person stand?! Anything else that was interesting was offered at 9am... and I'm sorry, but I'm on vacation and I'm not getting out of bed until at least 10am!Things like mini golf took FOREVER as we had to wait for supervised AND unsupervised children to be done with their light saber (golf club) battles before they would play... we played one round. The activities that were offered always ended up having an aire of grossness to them. I was so excited to enter the BF in the hair chest contest - but then I watched the you tube footage and thought better of it... and I'm glad I did because video of men being groped/spanked by unattractive women while their children watched was played over, and over, and over and I didn't want to force that upon my lovely man ;) I participated in the battle of the sexes games and will take full responsibility for us winning, but when it was sprung on us chosen three that we'd have to walk across the lobby with a quarter in our butts (demonstrated by the one female ACD staff) and drop it in a cup my sense of teamwork waivered - especially since all of the women were wearing shorts. I looked to see if any cameras were present, put the quarter between my legs instead, and gracefully walked to the cup before missing, handing Kaitlin? back her warm quarter and sitting back down... Never again will I fall for THAT trick!I will say though.... while I didn't play bingo, I loved watching it because Marcello is just SO fun to watch - he looks like a Chilean Jerry Seinfeld but with a bit more attitude! When he would get heckled by one of the many drunks - he would have some zinger that just made my day!Itinerary: ***Medium score because I liked the ports we went to, but we did not get the port we paid for. Our Original Itinerary was Puerto Vallarta, Mazatlan, and Cabo - which got changed to Cabo, Cabo, PV. There was a medical emergency the first day and the ONLY was it could be handled was turn around and head back to Long Beach - considering they don't keep ice packs on board, it's not a place I'd want to be sick ;) . Someone neither the BF nor I ever heard a PA system announcement about this - but we may have been in the spa during the raffle... either way, there was only one announcement made until it was discussed again during the Welcome Aboard Show after 10:30pm. Long story short, we missed our first Cabo day... "Luckily" we got to "extend" our 2nd Cabo day by the same amount the first Cabo day was supposed to be in the first place. I didn't plan much for Cabo anyways that was time/date sensitive, but it did mean we didn't do everything we wanted to do.I read the CCL contract before booking so I know they have to right to change itineraries and all of that, but it doesn't mean I can't be disappointed. ADULTS ONLY?: **"Beka, you just don't like kids!" - Save it! I LOVE kids, and I get to spend all day with YOUR kids when I'm not on vacation so give me a break. Wow... that almost sounded mean didn't it ;)We spent LITTLE TIME on the "Serenity" deck because quite frankly, it's NOT serine. It's a bunch of lounge chairs situated RIGHT BELOW the mini golf course. So not only to you hear screaming kids, but golf balls come flying by (especially on the 9th hole, which the course is angled up and there is NO guard!). The water slide is right next to it so the thumping of little kid feet is yet another thing that drowns out the ocean sounds. There's also no water area on deck 12 for adults. The only another Adults only area is on the aft side of the Lido deck - again, surrounded by children and usually filled with 10-12 drunk people. The only TRULY adults only area was the Spa - and that was only after I tattled on a couple who brought their 7 year old (I asked) in the Thalasso pool... which is WAY too strong, deep, and hot for a child!All in all - this is a family cruise and I respect that.... if I had kids I'd TOTALLY cruise as a vacation!The "adults only" areas were really just the most disappointing aspect in my opinion because it is ADVERTISED as a relaxing place for adults. There are places that we could go to get away, but they were nooks and crannies of the ship that we had to seek out on our own. Prices on board: **Really? Do I have to say it? We're a captive audience - be prepared to pay if you don't come prepared. Bring you allowed drinks/wine etc. and you can avoid much of this - plus who needs the calories of an unlimited soda card?Cruising on Carnival is a GREAT DEAL - the extras onboard are NOT! The gratuities are fair, but everything else they try to sell you get a bit annoying. We know you're there if we need your services... we'll come TO YOU if we need your services... but we don't. The staff is just doing their job, so I'm not mad at them. Shore Excursions: ***** (not included in overall score) We did NOT book through Carnival, but booked through www.puertovallartatours.net and their affiliates per port. In PV we did the La Vista canopy tour and it was MORE than worth the $57! Grab a bite to eat on the mountain too... the food is amazing! The tip up/down the mountain is one for the records books - as are the views! At the end, the driver dropped us right off at the spa we went to next in the marina...We also got a full body couples massage for $65 (but please tip well) from www.venussunshinepv.com and it was the best massage I've ever gotten. I'm a big person and the fact that I was able to be manipulated the way I was... was incredible! Since we came right after the canopy tour and let them know ahead of time, they had towels and robes set us for us to shower so we didn't have to get back to the ship... YES! In Cabo we discovered (with the help of the port information guy) a GREAT art glass store located right by the US consulate! Walk down Paseo de la Marina and find the Subway sandwich shop. There will be a side walk way next to it with a Realty company to your left... Walk down and on your left you'll see the place. It's great, the artists come and demonstrate their skill and the guy who runs the place is GREAT! I got all of my keep sakes there! They demonstrate glass blowing, read work, hand loom etc. The Prices are firm but reasonable and you won't have to bargain or feel cheated. It's special when you SEE the people making things, and they will sign and date it for you of course.Disembarking: *****Overall... this was VERY fast. The only crappy part was that everyone had to eat breakfast at the same time and for about 20min the terminal was jammed with the first round of self assist passengers. Other than that... it took less and 45min!Overall Service: *****WOW! almost EVERYONE who works onboard the ship was amazing! I've never seen SO MANY polite people in my LIFE and the staff truly was the highlight of the ship. The waiters, runners, stewards and ACDs were wonderful! I really can't say enough about how great the staff is... you'll just have to believe me! Fellow Passengers: ** (not included in overall score)My fellow Americans... sigh.... This really isn't Carnival's fault, so I won't enter it into my overall rating... but I have to comment on it. Never in my life have I been around so many rude people, that just happen to be 90% white Americans (giving us a bad rap!). I can deal with a person if they are simply ignorant, but belligerent and xenophobic I have small thresholds for. First of all this was in International cruise, on a line that is 99.9% staffed with International employees... keep the ethnic comments to yourself please! The demands and comments that some people made to/about the staff was really, really disappointing. I kept hearing things like "Little Indonesian guys", "Funny dressing Chinese people", and "Why do the waiters sing? They're all Pilipino and they don't say things good!" (direct quotes). Sigh... to each his/her own... You say "Tomato", I say "Shut up"...Maybe if I take a European cruise instead of having to listen to "Ugly Americans" I can ignore the "Ugly Europeans" because I won't be able to tell what they are saying! ;)Summary:The main testament to my cruise is that once on board, I never worried about anything! I felt relaxed 99.9% of the time (that I was away from icky people) and we really - truly DID enjoy our time on the Carnival Splendor! It was a great introduction to cruising and it taught us a lot about what offered and what we expect from a cruising vacation. I would NEVER say that I had a bad time on my Cruise, but there are areas for improvement that happen to be important to me... and have me looking into other lines to fill that niche since it's just not Carnival's "things" - you can't please all of the people all the time right? I WOULD do this cruise again though... maybe the regular itinerary helps with the boredom the last couple of days and will help to tire those little kids out ;) Honestly, the Spa is really what made it worth the price... and I don't think I'd go again if I couldn't afford to "get away" at the Spa! I hope this is informative - albeit long winded... I just wanted to make sure