If you like to travel and are thinking of a cruise
Consider all your options and be careful who you choose
Royal Caribbean and Princess are just fine
Celebrity and Carnival and P&O sublime
But if you want to spend your time in abject misery
The cruise for you, without a doubt, is one with MSC
Tea and coffee locked away before you've had a drink
A way to keep the profits up and penny pinch I think
I haven't quenched my thirst all day and now my throat is dry
I dare not buy the alcohol, the prices are too high
Hiked up costs at every turn, they never miss a chance
By working on the theory, you're a captive audience
Bingo in 5 languages, oh save me from this please
At least I learned to count to 10 in French and Japanese
Silly games throughout the day, described as entertainment
Whilst interesting activities, all required payment
The shows in the main theatre, covered quite a range
From opera to weird burlesque, it all seemed rather strange!
Lifts filled to capacity, nose pressed against the door
So why is it the Germans find room for 7 more?
Hot food that is served up cold that's tasteless plain and bland
The rice I ordered for my lunch I'm sure was swapped with sand
No food ever goes to waste, it's saved to use once more
The fish I ate for dinner, I'd seen the day before
It's separated after use, and split into each group
And what is not presentable, will end up in the soup
If you're vegetarian, you'd better be aware
That pork and lamb and chicken, will turn up everywhere
Bacon in the Brussel sprouts - ham mixed with the cheese
Meatballs in the gravy and ground beef in the peas
Smoking rules were not enforced and frequently ignored
In every corner of the ship, passive smoke absorbed
If you are dissatisfied and feel the need to mention
Matters for improvement requiring attention
They'll smile and offer platitudes and promise to arrange it
You might have guessed that all along they're never going to change it!
They gave us each a feedback form which we all filled in
I'm sure it's just a waste of time and went straight in the bin!
The general experience was anything but great
So MSC clean up your act, or stick to shipping freight!