This was our first cruise so we tried to do it right and booked it through the cruise line agent. We told him we were usually in bed by 11:30 and were not party goers. We'd like a mid-ship berth and semi quiet. We opted for the bigger porthole and we thought we'd found the right mix. The agent called a few days prior to our flight from Texas to Florida asking if we'd like an upgrade to a larger porthole room? Well Sure! Who doesn't like an upgrade and he knew what we were preferring. We had been booked into room EE 8033 but were upgraded to room C/D 0263. We got all the paperwork redone and were on our way. The check-in went smoothly and everything was going great. We got underway and there was a BBQ party on the swim deck. It was loud! And loud was the theme for the rest of the cruise. When the Reggae group wasn't playing they had the canned music so loud it was nearly impossible to talk and be heard. We roamed around and finally decided we'd check out our stateroom and see if our luggage had been delivered. The room was clean and we were impressed with the view from the larger window. Being a seasoned traveler and an old guy I like to check and make sure stuff works properly so there are fewer surprises later. The pan of the shower had been repaired and it was very unsightly. After an hour of stewing I called the desk and told them my unfavorable concern. They sent housekeeping with a bucket and cleaners to "fix" the problem. The steward tried but of course the problem wasn't dirty but repair. I called the booking agent,got his voice mail and told him he upgraded us to a substandard room. Didn't receive a response from him the entire cruise. I called the desk again and they told me they were fully booked and had nowhere to place us. I told them it sounded like the standard ploy. Being frustrated we headed to the buffet on level 11. We had a fair meal but the place was swarming with bus boys and other travelers vying for tables. We played some slots after signing up for 3 tournaments and then wandered around finding new surroundings. At the required time we mustered with the rest of the ship for our emergency speech. Don't be on time for this event because you will be waiting for the very last straggler to arrive. Poor planning and poor presentation was evident from the start of this deal. After our late snack we hit the room again. The room was in the queen bed configuration but the wall hanging bunks made getting into bed more difficult. We decided if the twin bed arrangement was used there would be more floor space available. The real estate folks say "Location Location Location" and that holds true for staterooms. Our upgraded room 0263 was directly beneath the Outdoor Cafe. The Outdoor Cafe has a wood slat floor that transmits sound very well. The chair movement was sent through the steel hull very clearly........until 5 am. You may say I'm bitchy but clearly this is not an upgrade. It was loud and non-stop. I called the desk again and complained. They sent another steward that had no option of stopping the noise. Again the desk said there was no place for us to be moved. After breakfast and substantial coffee we decided to suck it up and make the best of it. We would stay up late and drink heavily. But that's a problem. There was no "drink of the day", Pepsi's were $2.50, beer $5, wine $7.50 and mixed drinks were $8. Maybe drugs would have been cheaper. When we got back to the room there was a complimentary bottle of wine and 4 chocolate covered strawberries. Plus a message on the phone. We are being moved and upgraded to a new room. Room 0263 needs repair! Really!? Ya Think!? So we make three trips to the desk on level 5 in the next hour and half but we were moved and now have a balcony stateroom. Room BA/BB 9057. The steward had our bags there before we completed our last trip to the desk. This was a nice room and truly an upgrade. This one had more bottles of booze, water and soft drinks you get charged for. We did enjoy this room very much. We enjoyed Nassau and hired a taxi driver "Gilbert" near the Parliament Square. We agreed on a $25 fee and he took us everywhere. We asked for more and he complied. At the end we gave him $50 for the outstanding service and tour. Beware the gauntlet of drivers and shops at the port after the half mile walk from the ship's pier. We had rough seas and were unable to stay the day at Stirrup Kay. We ate at all the free dining areas. We had breakfast at The Palace Dining room. Very nice and away from the hectic pace of the buffet. Lots of silver, glassware and service. We ate lunch here one day too. We ate dinner at the Crossings and it was not as nice or as good as the Palace. The dining rooms have different hours but there is no dress code. We didn't try the French, Italian or Steak house. Back in the Port of Miami we carried our own luggage and was off the ship before the stated time. It was so smooth and quick we could have made it back to Ft. Lauderdale and flown home the same day. We used SAS Shuttle to return us to Ft. Lauderdale. They were a good deal. Some notes and ideas: I'm 6'1" and 200 pounds with a 36 " waist. The showers on-board are small. I didn't have trouble but a bigger person may. The lighting and A/C were good. There was a sewer smell in the stateroom and I think it may have been the way the toilets operated. They're like RV toilets and don't seem to have a trap for keeping the gases from entering the living area. The whole bath and shower is miniscule but workable. The shower water temperature is everflucuating. The beds are clean and can be arranged as you wish. The bed's firmness is like on the floor with a quilt. Porthole or no porthole? That's a toss up but the balcony room was superb. The guest to staff ratio is almost two to one so there are service people everywhere. They are happy and engaging and helpful. The evening entertainment was so/so. Bingo is a ripoff. We're not looking to do it again. Maybe in Alaska but we'll see.