Yeah, that's a joke. This was not a terrible cruise, but to explain the title, know that those saying Carnival is going downhill (like most everything) are right. Mostly first-world complaints: Poorer food quality. Fewer options on the menu. No chocolates on the pillows anymore. No mailing postcards from the ship anymore. Increased disorganization and poorer planning. But what can Carnival do? American wages haven’t gone up, so Carnival can’t charge more. The company has to skimp more and more and returning cruisers will notice.

If you’ve never cruised before: Expect to feel like you’re at a nice-ish motel with a second-rate TGI Fridays (offering a somewhat unusual menu along with basics), a cafeteria, and a faded, smoky off-strip Vegas casino with free shows. Feel free to ignore the dress code. Even on the alleged elegant night, they will let you dine in a t-shirt and jeans. They say no shorts and no baseball hats, but we saw people order poorly-prepared frogs legs and burnt roast duck while wearing such outfits. Shirtless and barefoot also worked in the Lido Buffet although it’s not supposed to.

Why the rating of “fairly nice?” The ship worked fine, and, from experience, that’s not always the case. (It did seem to have a slight permanent tilt so engine vibrations can cause plates and glasses to drift toward the edges of some of the tables in the Posh Dining room. At least one fell.) The elevators worked fine. The room was more-or-less clean. Read more