The Food: When we received our information during embarkation, we found out we were one of many people not given the dining time that we signed up for. (We'd signed up for the early seating and were given the late one.) We went straight to the restaurant when we got on the ship and got on the long line of people hoping to correct their dining situations. I looked at the long line of passengers and my heart sank, but I am happy to report that the Maitre'd not only hooked us up with the dining time we'd requested, but also honored our request for a table for two. We ate dinner in the main dining room almost every night, and the food there was...fine. Nothing super fancy or absolutely delicious for the most part, but fine for us. We tend to take advantage of cruises to taste foods we haven't eaten before, and found our server was always willing to let us try something new or add an appetizer if we asked. We ate breakfast and lunch in the buffet. I had an egg-white omelet every day, created by an awesome guy named "Freddie", and made up some nice salads and meats each day for lunch. Again, nothing super fancy, but there was plenty of variety in the buffet and the crew aimed to please. The one place that was absolutely outstanding food-wise was the Nouveau Supper Club. The food itself was higher quality than anywhere else on the ship and the service was wonderful. It was absolutely worth the $30/person. The only problem for us was that we ate SO much, we were uncomfortable the rest of the evening. We were so uncomfortable that we cancelled a second reservation we'd made for later in the week...not because the experience wasn't good but because, ironically, it was TOO good.
Excursions: We'd done plenty of research thanks to Cruise Critic, and arrived with our plans for each port. Please see the port reviews, below, for more information. Also, note my side comment on taxis in the Acapulco section.
Entertainment: We'd heard the evening shows left something to be desired, and that did turn out to be true. It was "Love Boat" cheesy...the "singers" mostly lip-synched with the exception of two people, and I literally fell asleep the two times we tried to stick through the revue shows. There was one comic/magician a few days in that was pretty good, but that was it. Even the "Legends" show we'd heard was decent turned out to be pretty cheesy in the end. The Cruise Director, Chris, was...fine. We made our way into the casino a few times too many. It had a good number and diversity of games and people seemed to enjoy it. We played on the Texas Hold 'em table mostly, which was $1-$2 no limit (not counting the tournaments) and also played some Black Jack. In the end, we lost too much money, but we have no one to blame on that one but ourselves. Our days on ship were spent soaking up the sun on the back of the ship, which was quieter and always had plenty of chairs. The bar service was great and very accessible as they always had servers walking around. We even got to see several whales as we passed by Cabo, with the added bonus of a humpback who jumped out of the water a few times, much to everyone's delight.
Carnival as a Whole: I've got to say that this cruise line runs like a well-oiled machine. Embarkation, debarkation and the ports were all a snap. We felt the crew strived to meet every need and did so in a friendly manner. Like everything else, so much of the experience is what you bring into it and your general attitude. The crew works so hard and a cruise experience itself so relaxing, that there's no reason to just have a miserable time unless you're determined to do so. That's my two cents, anyway.
The taxi driver dropped us off at La Fiesta American hotel, and we walked through to get to Condesa Beach. The beach itself was fine, but we should have kept walking down the beach a bit instead of parking right behind the hotel, which is really for guests. We wound up in an awkward situation where everyone thought we were guests and we had to either fess up to the truth, or tell a white lie (which I confess I did in order to be able to use their very nice bathrooms). Our other thought was to go to Caleta, which probably would've been fine as well. We also met others who just walked down the strip and parked behind a casual eatery for the day. Entire cost for the day : $40.