Embarkation: The process of pre-boarding was fairly easy, no problems. Once on the Epic was happy to find Spice H2O, very nice and we could enjoy a cigarette[sorry haters]. Then we finally left port 2 1/2 hours late, I heard it was because of a propeller problem, which was comforting. ........The balcony cabin: OMG, what a joke! The only good thing about it was the good sized balcony [room 12307 aft]. The toilet, shower and sink areas were pitiful, no room in the "john" to open your legs to wipe! You could put out an eye washing your face in the sink. The soap dispenser in the shower fell off of the wall when it was used. They separated the "queen sized' bed to make two very narrow, short, single beds. There was literally 5 inches between them and I scratched my leg several times on the frame getting into bed [not comfortable at all]. .........The ship: Set up really weird and not pretty in any way. On board shopping was pretty much non-existent unless you could spend tons of cash on high end watches and such. The sales people actually stalked you when you walked by. Also, many rude people on this cruise, mostly some of the guests, but the staff alike. Several employees in the dining areas did not understand English [annoying]. I sometimes felt that I was inferior because I was an American. ........Other: Our room steward was very accommodating, thank-you Lawrence of India [not Arabia]. I had a bad knee flare up and Lawrence always checked to see if I needed more ice bags for it. Thanks again Lawrence! Did not go to the additional cost dining. The buffet was pretty good w/ many selections. The free dining rooms had very poor service and the food was underwhelming. The fish and chips at O'Sheehans that was raved about by some was horrible, again VERY poor service.......The best news is the wonderful new friends we met from Florida and Canada, s well as Elizabeth and Kardak from Spice.