Carnival Splendor Cruise Review by JohnGSmithtown: HORRIBLE
Member Since 2014
Compare Prices on Carnival Splendor Southern Caribbean Cruises
I booked four cabins for eight people on the Splendor so we could celebrate multiple special family birthdays together. Let me start by saying that embarkation was easy because we got to the pier by 10:30 am. After that good start, it was all downhill. There isn't enough space here to list ALL that's wrong with Carnival. Our cabin steward was very good, as were our waiters, but they never went out of their way for anything. The showers overflowed and flooded the entire bathroom. It took two days to fix, and the bathroom stayed dry as long as you took a two minute shower. In the middle of the cruise, they varnish the wood rails, polish the chrome trim and shampoo the hall carpets, all with harsh chemicals. We opened our cabin door in the morning and were overcome by the fumes. The food is not bad, just completely tasteless and usually lukewarm at best. The selection each night is terrible. Meatloaf? Fried Chicken? Alligator fritters? Really? The jumbo shrimp ENTREE contained exactly More
FOUR medium sized shrimp. The "premium wine" selection was poor, and when I asked for a better wine selection I was told these were the only bottles on the ship...except they have better wines in the steakhouse and no one offered to get me one. The buffet lunch and breakfast was slop. Long lines without enough stations and workers. I guess they are all out selling alcohol. If you drink, smoke and do drugs, they love you. Plenty of drunk people vomiting on the decks, elevators and restaurant floors. Plenty of marijuana smoke wafting from the balconies and sun decks, all ignored by security. One "guest" threw his marijuana butt off deck 11 and it burned my daughter's back. They start pushing drinks at 10:00 am and if you don't buy something early, they will abandon you. The ports were all fine, as were the shore excursions we went on. However, departing the ship is a process. First, not all elevators go to all decks, and we found ourselves wandering the ship trying to find our way out. The useless cruise director was more concerned with his clever announcements pushing spa treatments, drink specials, shore excursions and art auctions (all money-makers) but was never helpful. He told us where NOT to go to get off the ship but never we we should go. There is an assumption that you know where everything is from the moment you get on board. They did NOT give us deck plans and the signage is terrible. The biggest problem turned out to be entertaining my daughter, who is five weeks shy of 18. There really isn't anything for kids in that age group. Since she was the youngest in our party, she was literally banned from staying with us, as most clubs, shows and the casino are 18+ only. I ended up arguing with the useless cruise director because they refused to let my daughter attend the adults-only comedy show...with me accompanying her! He offered the teen club as an alternative, but none of her family could attend with her, as we are all OVER 18, so she would be alone. This clueless twit then told me that he couldn't allow my daughter into the show because they "use vulgar language" and other people might be uncomfortable if they see her there, comparing my daughter to a six-year old. The real problem is that this idiot puts two "family" shows back to back while we are eating dinner, leaving back-to-back adult shows after dinner.
It's a shame that I spent close to $20,000 for this vacation and endured the Carnival nonsense. It's truly a cruise line that attracts the lowest common denominator and caters to that because they will make their money at the bar and the casino. Good luck to them. I will NEVER be back on a Carnival ship. Less
Read more Carnival Splendor cruise reviews >>
Read Cruise Critic's Carnival Splendor Review >>