Mixed bag: Norwegian Jewel Cruise Review by firstname.lastname@example.org
Overall Member Rating
The not so good; The shows were less than okay. One night they had this singing Russian guy come out in a tux and he belted out every ones favorite russian tune, only problem is we don't speak Russian. Worse, it was like watching your grandpas favorite re-run of "The Lawrence Welk Show". And then it got really bad. His pixy wife comes out and grabs a hold of these drape like ropes dropped from the stage ceiling. Up she goes spinning around like a little angel. Parents better cover juniors eyes cause he is going to get a healthy dose of crotch shots. I guess otherwise enjoy the view. Seriously it was comical watching. Had the dude pierced his nipples, put a chain in between and then spun his wife around the stage, then that would have been something to watch. The staff amateur show was just that amateur. But hey if you like Mrs. Guntskys 4th grade class pageant growing up, this show is for you!
The really bad: Food sucked! Remember what I said about my wife. She told the ship months ago about her dietary restrictions. "No problem we got you covered" is what were told. The real gig is there is a set menu and if you want to deviate from the menu, say Iike how about grilling those veggies instead of steaming. Can you add curry to the rice. Blank stay like you get at the DMV office. Waiters honestly don't know what to do when you go outside the box. Thank fully we stumbled across the one chef who go outside the box. I can eat anything and the best description I can describe the food is high school cafeteria for breakfast. Lunch and dinner is a hybrid of Dennys. If you upgrade and pay for the food if was far better in the boutique restaurants. But it begs to ask NCL, why? My kid said the bacon was like cardboard cut-outs, spay painted and warmed up.
Gotchas: Couple massage was great. Better read the fine print though. It read 149 bucks for a couple massage. Great deal told my wife let's go. This two girls had hands of magic. We missed the part it was 149 each plus 18% gratuity. I missed that and tipped both girls a 20 spot to boot. All port had the usual trinkets galore. Suggest renting a car and hightailing it our of town and see the really Alaska. Excursions were great so check those out. Oh-took my 13 year old zip lining. If your not a afraid of height or speed this tour is for you. Day two in open ocean was somewhat rough. I was fine, but 3 out of our 8 tossed their cookies. I called day 2 barf day. Great way to meet your shipmates at the stern barfing over the railing;-) Less
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