Me and my Girlfriend stayed in Deluxe Owner's Suite 17033 onboard the Epic. Our Butler was Marlon, and our Concierge was David. We purchased Ultimate Dining, and Beverage.
Suite: Awesome, huge, nice wraparound balcony, and our Butler even arranged a dinner from Cagney's with our neighbors from the other owner's suite next door. We had a large bathroom, king size bed, the only relatively mild thing we didn't like we had was that at certain times it was hot and thee wifi did not work everywhere in the suite (not that big of a deal, just lead to some dropped calls on the cordless phones, and we could just use the desk phones instead). I am biased because I keep my house at 62 degrees, but I would have to say putting it on low, we never saw below 68. But I guess that is what the ice bar is for. We paid $40 per bottle extra to get Grey Goose instead with our free 3 bottles that came with our suite. Balcony overlooking the pool was a plus and a minus due to noise, but definitely the best suite on the boat.
Epic Club: We only ate breakfast and lunch there. I would have preferred they had lunch at breakfast as I don't eat breakfast. Not the end of the world, as our Butler used to get me what I needed in the room.
Room Service/Butler Service: Many of our meals we ate in our room. They made me whatever I wanted. It was excellent food was always hot, no complaints.
Shanghai: This was by far one of my favorite restaurants on the ship. It reminded me of dinner I had Man Wah at the Mandarin Oriental in Hong Kong. I would say it was 95% there, the flavor was simply incredible on my Kung Pao Chicken. The General Tso's Chicken Lettuce wraps were not General Tso's but they had spices on the table for your convenience.
Teppanyaki: We only went for lunch and once by Butler for dinner, it was $25 per person. We enjoyed it so much we got it 4 times total. Excellent food, excellent service, wish they had a bigger Sake selection (especially at place called Sake Bar).
Cagney's: Had it for Butler delivery twice. Reminded me exactly of Morton's. Had a filet and chicken drumsticks (which are great because the drumsticks they shave off the ends so you don't have to get your fingers dirty, just like the Mandarin). Excellent.
Le Bistro: We had an excellent meal and it was wonderful. We also had the company of the Captain and Staff Captain, who were class acts. Wonderful people, wonderful meal, and just an awesome experience.
La Cucina: Excellent food, not the greatest Italian I ever had, but I am from New Jersey. I would give it a 8/10. Everything was very fresh, and we did eat there twice.
Moderno: We enjoyed this meal as well. Their house sirloin is definitely the top item here. We had no complaints, and service was good and prompt.
Blue Man Group: They were excellent as usual. Wish they would make more changes to the show, it is exactly the same as when I saw it off-broadway when they first opened in NYC god knows how many years ago.
Cirque: We did not eat dinner, we just got drinks and desert, but the show was awesome. It was an excellent show.
Cigar Bar: It was a little slow to get service the first couple days, but it drastically improved over the coming days.
Ice Bar: It was really cool, drinks were good, and it was really cold which I loved (I wore shorts and a t-shirt, no jacket). It was again excellent and we had a great time the two times we visited it.
Casino Bar: Quick. Casino Drinks = Slow (typical though even in Vegas).
Spice H2O: I really wish the cruise industry as a whole had a better nightclub scene. Unfortunately, they never seem able to get it like Vegas or Miami has. The party was fun the night we went (Night Out).
Bliss: Lackluster again, but it is the same on every cruise we've been on.
The comp system they have in place is insanely bad. Do not come as a serious mid-range gambler. Perks are slim to none, and it took me 5 days to get a house drink card (which I didn't even need, but it's the principle of the thing). For reference, total play 15 hours, average bet $120-$140 on average 4% house edge craps table. Expected Loss is somewhere around $3000. We ended up with $19.00 in comped play, the entire cruise. To give you an idea in Vegas, the expected comp return (40%) would be in the neighborhood of $1400, if not more (since $1400 is the actual cash budget at cost, so it could be considerably more since most alcohol, rooms, etc are 300% mark up). With that in mind compare it to the lousy $19 we received it was not even worth tracking our play. We heard from some other players it may earn us an interior room comped, but even that has an average value of $600 on a cruise, not even half the $1400 budget in Vegas. In addition, premium drinks are free for everyone in Vegas, without even taking into account the $1400. Big difference here.
The Butler, the Concierge, everyone was excellent. Everything worked like clock work, and we had no issues what so ever. The night butler, was a little lazy, but whatever, we only used him once anyway.
We used this, and we received our bags at the airport with our First Class Priority Tags. Since we got 3 bags free, we put them all under my name saving a quick $20.