A 15 night Christmas and New Year cruise to Maderia on board the Marco Polo interested us: formal evenings, socialising, playing bridge, attending lectures, good itinerary, plenty of excursions - lets go for it. "Agreed it's a small ship but a decent cabin on a convenient deck should suit a couple in their 80s - everything to hand." proferred the agent. So we paid a sizable sum and awaited the sunshine.

Our first impressions on boarding were mixed. The ship was obviously limited but the cabin was ok (except the windows leaked). We cherished our steward in the days to come. Dining presented a problem; very cramped and the food was 'fiction'. A seven course menu might contain something you can eat - warm tasteless soup, a weird mash of fish, tough meat, risotto resembling cold porridge or a reliable salad and ice cream which we survived on. Don't ask about Christmas day, it was a disaster. Chunks of turkey, uncooked sausage, raw bacon and mashed vegetables - no sauce or gravy. Christmas pudding, pies and strudels all contained the same cold mixture, waiters struggled and so did the passengers.

The Buffet housed chipped mugs from which we dangled our tea bags and the food was even more dubious so we seldom visited. When the restaurant and Buffet were rendered out of commision due to storms we enjoyed the delights of free mini rolls containing breakfast sausage kindly delivered to our cabin by the stewards "Sorry no hot drinks - £2.20 for a bottle of water".The next 8 hours were painful. Read more