Carnival Breeze Cruise Review by RomeoAndJuliet: Sodom and Gomorrah on the High Seas
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Sodom and Gomorrah on the High Seas
Before sailing on the Breeze, we admired the virtual tour of the ship, noting the beauty, but wondering where the guests were. In reality, the ship is not that pleasant to look at, because of the "trailer court trash" people walking around everywhere.
We don't want to see another obese man in a Speedo swimsuit strolling around the Lido buffet when we are trying to enjoy lunch on our honeymoon cruise, especially after saving money for months to afford the vacation. We never have to see another tattoo. We have had our fill.
We don't want to see an army of harlots in bikinis humping in a "Back It Up" line dance, cheered on by the Cruise Director and Staff as the highlight of the Sail Away party. Ditto for the night time Deck Party, with slightly more clothing but the same gutter mentality. We have seen quite enough couples of all sexual persuasions humping each other on the open deck dance floor, surrounded by children.
We avoided the Hairy Chest More competition, but had to watch it anyway when we purchased the highly promoted Cruise DVD and were shocked to see each big bare chested man parade by and simulate grinding on the little cruise staff guy.
We sought refuge indoors at the Piano Bar, but it has now moved out into the open hallway where it attracts a large crowd of low lifes who think music is a vehicle for group participation in the screaming of obscenities. The Comedy Club does not allow children to hear those same words that are being screamed in the Piano Bar and heard way down the hallway on the Promenade Deck. It truly was Sodom and Gomorrah on the High Seas and we always had to search for something to do.
We have in the past admired the professionalism of the musicians, dancers, and singers in the production shows featured in the Carnival Main Lounges/Theaters. Knowing nothing of Carnival 2.0, we made first time cruisers promise to attend ALL the shows as we shared a cab to the ship. Boy, were we disappointed and embarrassed when we saw the flimsy excuse for entertainment Carnival is trotting out there on stage before a large audience these days. We were also embarrassed for the poor entertainment staff, trying to inspire a large crowd to thunderous applause when the crowd was just looking at them saying, "What happened to all your friends? Did the Carnival Bean Counters make everyone who could dance or play an instrument walk the plank?" Our particular cruise was even worse than most, because something broke, they couldn't fix it, and they sent a one-man act out there to sing his guts out before the largest crowd of the cruise (formal night). No band, no back up singers, no dancers, no props, no sets, barely even a theme. Just a guy singing with a world class karaoke machine. All the money we had saved for months. All our wedding presents. i could just see the dollar signs flying away. The second night: another one-man show, a ventriloquist. He was good , but people expected a production show. On the third night they finally gave us the Playlist show Motor City and there were only 7 performers. No musicians, no dance troupe with the dazzling choreography we had come to expect from Carnival. At one time, an LED cartoon character sang lead vocals, with only 4 male back-up singers on stage, and we were asked to applaud for this cartoon character singing canned lead vocals. We will never again sail on any ship with Carnival 2.0 -- it should be called just point zero, although it smelled of number two. The fat cats in Miami are padding their bloated stock portfolios with the salaries of all the musicians and dancers that were fed to the fishes.
One more problem, and then we will try to find the silver lining. (We promise.) The Elevators. There was almost always one of the four that was out of order. Of the remaining three, one elevator raced up and down from top to bottom to top to bottom to top ... never stopping for anyone, but always cancelling the Up and Down buttons that had been selected by the guests. Maybe some of the guests did not care about the entertainment, but everyone was complaining about the elevators.
OK, now the good part! The Thrill Theater shows a short 3-D movie with seats that bounce around and things poke at your back and ankles. Tiny blasts of water and bubbles make it great fun! There are only 24 seats, so don't be late. If you pay double, you can come back as many times as you like to the four different shows. This was one of the highlights!
Food in the Blush dining room was very good with just a few exceptions. The Lido was not as good but still OK. Service was excellent everywhere. The crew was just outstanding. These poor kids from all over the world are paid very little and are practically slaves, so please tip them well. They all are smiling, friendly, and lovable.
The Serenity area was pleasant, especially late at night, when the noise was gone and it was truly serene.
The Breeze is an amazing ship. The mechanical sailing parts, heating and air conditioning, and decor are all magnificent. The only problems are the low life patrons that seem to dominate the attention of the cruise staff and the cost cutting measures of the home office that have really made Carnival a second class brand. We won't be recommending Carnival any more, at least not the "new improved" 2.0 ships. Less
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