Jimmy Buffet himself couldn't have more fun than on a cruise to the Western Caribbean. You know, this is my third cruise and they just keep getting better. This time I sailed (why do they call it that, there are no sails) out of Galveston, TX. on the Carnival Conquest. It's one of Carnival's megaships and has replaced the Elation which is still off the coast of New Orleans soaking up FEMA money via hurricane Katrina. The theme of the ship is Impressionist art, which is pretty foreign to most Southern Americans, but "reel perty" anyway.

First things first, though. We decided to save a little money on the hotel the night before the cruise, so we reserved a room through Travelocity at the Best Value Inn and Suites, because it was "recommended". Man, was that a major cranial flatulence. After driving 10 hours, we got to this dump in a "bad" part of Galveston with an unsecured parking lot, only to find out that they had sold our room to someone else, even though we had reserved it 3 months earlier! The desk clerk, who had the the typical "I could care less because your aren't from India" attitude was no help at all, and neither was the regional manager. Bad juju, stay away from that hotel. We are still ironing out the complaint with Travelocity, whose "Travel Guarantee" only seems to apply if everything goes fine. We finally got a room at the Fairfield, which is where we should have stayed in the first place. I love Fairfield Inns. They are always clean, the staff is friendly and they're never in "the hood".

Having left all the bad karma behind in Galveston, we boarded the Conquest in record time. Carnival has this cruising thing down to a science. Parking at the cruise line will cost you $70 in advance, so be prepared for this. Think of it as insurance. It pretty much guarantees your stereo and wheels will be there when you get back. Read more