Say What? Silly Cruise Questions (That Never Should Have Been Asked)

July 9, 2014 | By | 10 Comments

Woman looking silly
Cruise Critic member GHstudio made an acute observation on the message boards recently: “Somehow, when people get on a ship on a cruise vacation, the most logical people just turn off their brain.”
And when the brain is left on the dock, out come the questions and comments.
Not just the old classics like ‘Do the crew sleep on board?’ and ‘What time is the midnight buffet?’ but new, even more ridiculous offerings.
For example, overheard by member Timbo89 on a bus trip in the mountains of Norway: “I don’t like going uphill on a bus. I hope it isn’t uphill on the way back.” And on the same tour, in a case of stating the completely obvious, “There’s snow up there. It must be cold.”
Speaking of cold, some cruisers reckon there must be an army of elves hard at work in Alaska. Member TheMediaman remembers: “On a Tracy Arm Fjord excursion the deckhand told me that he had been asked ‘How often do they wash the glaciers?’ Unbelievably, he was asked this more than once.”
Away from familiar waters, there’s the minefield of thoughtless foreigners to negotiate. Member Muddypuddles overheard on a shore excursion in Turkey: “Why are all the road signs in a foreign language? How am I supposed to know where I am?”
Not to mention the horrors of culture shock. Member Fixdrup was drinking in a local bar on a port call in Cozumel and recalls: “After a woman receives her Pina Colada, she asks the bartender ‘This is made with American ice?’ To which the bartender replies, ‘Yes ma’am, we have it shipped in daily!’”
And finally, one of my own memorable moments of philistine traveling companions. Sitting in St Mark’s Basilica in Venice, after hours, in near-darkness, on an exclusive visit. One by one, the lights come on, illuminating the interior one of Europe’s most beautiful and famous cathedrals. Awed silence.
A voice booms out: “Why are we here?”
Have you overheard any “duh” cruising questions? Let us know.
*Never mind wondering what NOT to say, here’s what’s not to do onboard!
*Check out our reader-submitted epic cruise fails


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    10 Responses to “Say What? Silly Cruise Questions (That Never Should Have Been Asked)”

    1. Holly R.
      July 9th, 2014 @ 3:12 pm

      Hearing a woman complain that she paid for an oceanview cabin and all she could see was the dock. (we hadn’t left port yet)

    2. Alexa
      July 9th, 2014 @ 3:18 pm

      Last week we were on a cruise in the mediterranean sea and met the NIEUW AMSTERDAM from HOLLAND America Line (both names in their giant font size that can not be overlooked right in front of our eyes).
      A friend of mine heard someone standing next to him saying to his wife “Oh look at the flag, a french ship joined us..”

    3. Andrew
      July 9th, 2014 @ 3:24 pm

      To a server on the Lido Deck “Can you tell the captain to slow the ship down, the wind is too strong”

    4. Ros Hutchinson
      July 9th, 2014 @ 3:24 pm

      We heard someone ask the tour guide on our visit to the gymnasium in Pompeii if they used to play soccer there. Tour guide managed to answer without laughing!

    5. Glen Latour
      July 9th, 2014 @ 6:14 pm

      Heard a woman comment on the tour bus excursion exploring the interior of Antigua: “You would think these people would clean up their houses to look nice for the tourists”

    6. Mark Brandon
      July 9th, 2014 @ 11:55 pm

      I’m a Cruise Specialist so have heard all sorts however one that sticks out is regarding a ONE day cruise from Vancouver to Seattle.

      “Do we go to any other countries before we get to Seattle…”

      I couldn’t help but laugh…

    7. Beyond The Sea
      July 10th, 2014 @ 6:01 am

      We are currently on a Spanish cruise, & my 14yr old daughter asked whether we were going to Madrid. Time to get out a map of Spain & spend a little time on geography! :)

    8. David
      July 10th, 2014 @ 9:16 am

      While on a cruise to the panama canal the captain told us about the whales in the area and that we may see some on the way down. A women then ask us later what time the captain said the whales would perform. also on the same trip there was a meteor shower (I forget which shower)the ship set up chairs so we could watch it during the shower (which was wow) a lady ask what time the grand finale was

    9. John Bosch
      July 10th, 2014 @ 3:07 pm

      On the Zaandam Sydney to Singapore two years ago just before the Neptune ceremony started to celebrate crossing the Equator, I heard a man ask his wife while scanning the horizons “Marge, can you see any buoys out there, because I can’t see where we are crossing that line they are talking about?” The man was serious.

    10. Buchhalm
      July 15th, 2014 @ 4:10 am

      passport controll in Gdansk port, Poland.
      – Angela Merkel
      – Not today.

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