Hot on the Forums: How Do You Handle a Cruise Bore?

June 13, 2014 | By | 3 Comments

I had only just sat down and introduced myself to my new dining companions when a foghorn voice boomed from the far end of the table: “So is this your first cruise?” Before I could open my mouth, the questioner drew breath and launched into a monologue about every cruise he’d been on. With only fleeting respites to take another mouthful of food or sip of wine, he continued, unabated.
All attempts to steer the conversation another way were futile.  Any questions, made only to try and create a diversion, resulted in even more excruciating detail.
Swapping seafaring tales with like-minded folk is an entertaining part of any cruise. Being caught by a cruise bore with the wind in his sails is quite another.
But fear not – resourceful Cruise Critic members have some canny suggestions when it comes to dealing with cruise bores.

It began with member Dame Delilah saying she loved large tables and meeting new people, but was sea sick of boastful cruisers bragging about their lives on the ocean waves. Before resorting to a table for two, she asked how others coped.
Some, like SomeBeach, said the best way was to grin and bear it.
“As a sometime solo traveler, I am usually placed at a large table. I listen to many stories and have heard the same. I used to chuckle when it occurred but then figured out a way to deal with it. I remind myself that each person’s story is personal to them so it is only natural for them to feel what they did or experienced was better than anyone else.
“I also like how if the story comes up again, it seems to grow. Reminds me of the old fish tales. It starts with a fish that was about six inches long in the original, but as the story is repeated the fish grows to 12 inches, then 24 inches. Just think if you were on a transatlantic crossing. By the time the cruise ended they would have caught a whale.”
My personal top marks go to mischievous member Blondie088 who said: “DH and I used to play the ‘big fat liar game’. We have been everything from unemployed dole scammers who wangled a cruise on social security – that’s a conversation stopper in three seconds and probably our favourite – to runaway neighbors who have left their husband/wife to be together on the cruise.”
I am already working on my naughty nautical persona. In the meantime, have I ever told you about the time I rounded Cape Horn in a force 11 on the crest of a 150 ft wave without spilling a drop of Champagne?……
How do you deal with cruise bores? Let us know in the Comments below.
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    3 Responses to “Hot on the Forums: How Do You Handle a Cruise Bore?”

    1. Bob Johnson
      June 13th, 2014 @ 9:55 am

      We have only encountered this a couple of times. One gentleman was bragging about living aboard a sailboat in the US Virgin Islands for 5 years. We started asking him about fictitious harbors and islands and got him very embarrassed. Sometimes a totally irrelevant question floors them – like “How do you gauge the effect of (make up a name or use disestablishmentarianism) effected that cruise.

    2. Kim
      June 13th, 2014 @ 6:44 pm

      I once sat with some of the most snotty people I had ever met. I got so sick of hearing about their perfect lives and all of their travels. I finally started telling them all about the escapades of the cooks and waitresses and my local Waffle House. Because I was a ‘regular’ at the establishment, I knew quite a bit about them. Needless to say, it was a hilarious culture shock for them, especially since I spoke as if the cooks and waitresses actual friends of mine than just acquaintances that served me at the restaurant. And the truth of the matter is that I’d much rather sit with my Waffle House ‘crew’ that braggers any day!

    3. Yolli
      June 14th, 2014 @ 6:10 am

      My hubby and I were waylaid at the midnight buffet on our last cruise. We had seen (or rather heard) this person talking to others on other nights and vowed we would hide if he came our way, but we were too slow.
      Anyway, he went on and on about how good he was, how he worked out every day, where he had been & where he was going next. Could hardly get a word in & he didnt listen anyway (we asked questions)….
      Then he started hitting on my hubby….I nearly choked laughing….hubby just put his arm around me and said it was our 30th Anniversary ( a lie)…didnt stop the guy talking. Finally said we had to go as we were meeting friends downstairs….I still laugh when I think about it…I told my hubby he shouldnt be so charming….lol

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