The Envelope, Please: Cruise Lines for Oscar Nominees

February 28, 2014 | By | No Comments

Celebrities cruise: As godmothers, special guests, or part of theme cruises. And sometimes they do it… just for fun.
Hollywood’s most famous couple, ‘Brangelina’ were rumored to consider marriage onboard the Queen of England’s favorite ship, Hebridean Princess. Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek has sailed as a guest onboard multiple cruise lines including Disney‘s TCM’s Classic Cruise, and also enjoys expedition cruising with Lindblad. Italian cinematic goddess Sophia Loren is the godmother of all MSC ships (the line claims its newest ship, MSC Divina, was entirely inspired by her).
With Oscar season upon us (the Academy Awards air this Sunday) we thought it would be fun to match Oscar nominees to their cruise line personalities.
For example, Sandra Bullock (Best Actress, Gravity) seems like she would be a great fit for Disney Cruise Line: Her demeanor seems upbeat and bubbly, and she puts on high quality performances that are believably dramatic, yet girl-next-door. We can picture her having tea with the Disney princesses, and then dashing off to the pool to splash-fight with the best of them (as for the cast of Captain Phillips, well, let’s leave them off of any cruise ships, for now).
Check out who else we paired up below, and share your own suggestions in the comments!
Island Windjammers, Matthew McConaughey (Best Actor, Dallas Buyers Club).
Windjammers’ philosophy is all about barefoot cruising, which is why we can picture McConaughey on deck with his signature Cheshire smile and two fingers of rum in his hand, loving life. A line of schooners rather than big ships, Windjammers promotes an atmosphere that’s intimate and super-relaxed; a place where McConaughey’s charisma – and rippling muscles – can shine (c’mon, the guy never has a shirt on).

Holland America, Meryl Streep (Best Actress, August: Osage County).
Meryl Streep is a classic. Many consider her to be the greatest living actress, with an astonishing 18 Oscar nominations — more than any other actor in the history of the awards. Someone with those kind of chops needs something traditional, with just the right modern touches. We see Streep indulging in the spa and relishing the chance for Royal Dutch High Tea, before slipping into the ballroom for a few dances with a dapper, gentleman host.

Azamara, Leonardo DiCaprio (Best Actor, Wolf of Wall Street).
DiCaprio’s characters haven’t always had the best luck on cruise ships, but recently he’s played a host of rich, jet-setting playboys, always looking for the next best thing. A hybrid of big ship activity and small ship intimacy, Azamara blends a comfortable onboard experience with unique destination immersion. We see Leo casually lunching at Prime C steakhouse, or enjoying a glass of merlot at Aqualina, before disembarking in Monaco to see the Grand Prix. We can think of 1,001 ways DiCaprio would spend Azamara’s prized overnights in port, and none of them are rated PG.

Cunard, Judi Dench (Best Actress, Philomena).
We see no incongruity with Dench among Queens Mary, Elizabeth and Victoria — she is a dame, after all. Both an English actress and American pop culture staple — thanks to her role as M in nearly 20 years of Bond films — Dench exudes refinement and taste, perfect for the enrichment and white-gloved service of Cunard. Oxford education programs and Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts acting workshops would hit a sweet spot, while a heavy emphasis on heritage and traditional luxury would appeal to her sensibilities. The transatlantic itineraries would be quite convenient, departing from Southampton and getting her to New York in time for a starring role in a Broadway drama.

Carnival, Jonah Hill (Best Supporting Actor, Wolf of Wall Street).
On screen, Jonah Hill appears goofy and excessive, and with famously comedic chums like James Franco and Seth Rogan, he’s the perfect fun-loving sidekick. With a fleet that features “Fun Ships”, Carnival is an easy choice to accommodate Hill and his gang’s need for round-the-clock entertainment. Vegas-style casinos, endless bars and eateries, comedy clubs and ports where it’s just a few steps to the nearest rum punch ensure Hill has infinite outlets for his Superbad self.

Norwegian, Jennifer Lawrence (Best Supporting Actress, American Hustle).
Known for wacky faces and an endearing sense of clumsiness, Jennifer Lawrence is dazzling yet relatable. That’s why the freestyle sensibilities of Norwegian Cruise Line would sync nicely with Lawrence’s free spirit. Whether she’s taking in a Broadway-style show, sunbathing at Vibe Lounge or grabbing a beer with friends at Howl at the Moon, Lawrence could be in her element, coming and going as she pleases. We even bet she would walk the plank on the ropes course without batting an eyelash!
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