The 6 Stages of Eating During a Cruise

August 7, 2012 | By | 12 Comments

Day one — Resolution: “I’ll avoid greasy, bacon- and sausage-laden breakfasts, I’ll only have salad for lunch and I’ll go to the gym every day.” Sign up for exercise classes.
Sometime around day two or three -– Denial: “I’m too tired/hungover/sunburnt. I’ll take a day off from the gym today. I’m on a vacation and I deserve a rest. Everybody else is having burgers and cocktails — why shouldn’t I?” Skip exercise class. Swim five lengths of tiny pool as compromise “workout.” Consume large pina colada as reward for “swim.”
First formal night — Crisis: Clothes alarmingly tight. Emergency spa “miracle weight loss” treatment. “OK, so I’ve had a wake-up call, but it’s not too late. I may even go home thinner if I just stick to my simple vacation eating plan.”

Two days after formal night — Bargaining: “I’m not the fattest round the pool. Plenty of them look worse than I do. So what if I have a spare tire? I’ll never see any of these people again. I’ll just cut back on the carbs a bit.” Down another cocktail. Dig out elasticated waist clothing from bottom of suitcase. Sigh of relief that it still fits.
Penultimate day of cruise — Acceptance: “I really ought to try everything on the ship before the cruise is over. After all, I’ve paid for it. And you don’t get cheese omelets/a chocolate buffet/ribeye steak like this at home. What difference is one more day going to make? The first day home will be a new start of healthy eating.” Travel home in tracksuit pants or black garbage bag as nothing else fits.
Last day of cruise — see infographic, designed by Ashley Kosciolek, Associate Editor.
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    12 Responses to “The 6 Stages of Eating During a Cruise”

    1. Tim Chacko
      August 8th, 2012 @ 1:18 pm

      For all the cruises, I have taken none has better other than Royal Careebien. They provide the best food.

    2. Audrey shore
      August 9th, 2012 @ 3:26 pm

      Princess cruises food too good to resist, steak and lobster not fattening .

    3. Robinola
      August 9th, 2012 @ 7:09 pm

      Hey………Someone stole my cruise diary and published it!

      Today: Must diet so that I can lose 10 lbs. before next cruise so that I don’t have to worry about weight gain next time……Oh no, here we go again!

    4. Rae
      August 10th, 2012 @ 6:21 am

      Omg at first I was scared that’s gonna be me cuz I plan to go to the gym everyday. But then I thought.. Wait I was gonna scoff at the people eating salads on a cruise and join the lobster eaters!
      I’ll be fine…. RIGHT?!!

    5. Lynne Coppoletta
      August 10th, 2012 @ 7:50 am

      Only the best…..Oceania!

    6. Nancy J. Cohen
      August 15th, 2012 @ 3:33 pm

      Very funny…and true! However resolved I am to follow a healthy diet, I know I’m going to stray. Rather than exercise classes, I opt for climbing up and down the stairs as much as possible and around the Promenade deck.

    7. France
      August 15th, 2012 @ 6:01 pm

      Tons of fruit,veg, fish and pulses with lashings of great tea and excellent coffee. Oh, and lest I forget, a great bottle of red at dinner….we ate up a storm and actually lost weight on our last cruise….love Cunard cuisine!

    8. mele
      August 15th, 2012 @ 6:25 pm

      not true, it goes like this: day 1 eat everything in sight. been running around sightseeing so don’t need more exercise. formal night – dress not fitting, start looking at exercise classes and eating less. midway through cruise – cutting back. starting exercise or walking and swimming. end of cruise – eating like a pig cause will never see food like this ever! promise to diet once we get home.

    9. Gerry
      August 16th, 2012 @ 1:56 am

      Leave your diet at home!!! You are on vacation. The poor Chef and his staff have been slaving all day in the kitchen to make some of the best food around. I have taken two cruises so far and each time have ordered off the daily list, one to two appetizers, two or more main meals, and one to two deserts. The Waiter even over ordered a main meal and did not want to send it back to the kitchen, and asked if I wanted it, and I answered “Hell yea, bring it on” as it was a good main meal, which I wanted more of. So leave your diet at home and enjoy the wonderful different types of food offered. You will not regret it.

    10. Marie
      August 19th, 2012 @ 11:49 am

      I agree with Gerry, You have a lifetime to diet,Enjoy yourself, You dont have to gorge yourself, but definately sample everything, especially foods youve never tried and dont make at home, forget the burgers and fries, make a dish of small portions of different foods and I think the anytime dining is a great idea, because you go to dinner when youre hungry, not because its time to go, Also skip breakfast or lunch and go to that jewelry making/Bingo/salsa lesson class instead, cruises are for doing things you dont normally do as well and take the stairs as much as possible, you waste so much time waiting for the elevator, thats why its better to get a cabin on the lower decks, easy access to public decks by stairs.

    11. Paula
      November 15th, 2012 @ 12:00 am

      I usually lose weight. The portions are just right. For me the trick is a cabin at one end or the other so a simple trip to dinner is a looooong walk. Then back to the theater…. The looooong walk back. Steps is another good thing and waiting for elevators takes too much time. The other thing is to be easy on the booze.

    12. Mary Thirtyacre
      March 19th, 2013 @ 1:04 pm

      I have been on many long (66 plus) day cruises and my way of not gaining weight is to bring a pair of pants that look ice on me the day before the cruise starts. When that pair starts to get tight I cut down on the food! I don’t work out, but I do walk every day on the ship and then again on shore. I love to cruise!!!

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