On the eve of the 2012 London Olympics, we got to thinking: what if cruise ships hosted their own Summer Games onboard? The event possibilities are virtually endless, and we’ve listed a few of our winning ideas below.
Deck Chair Dash: Whether you’re guilty of deck chair-hogging or have always wanted to try it but never dared, this event is for you. Each participant will start from a central location on the ship’s pool deck, next to his or her own laundry cart full of various objects, including but not limited to towels, flip-flops, sunglasses and books. Athletes will have 60 seconds from the time the ship’s horn blows to “reserve” as many chairs as they can, using said laundry-cart objects. Whoever reserves the most chairs wins gold.
Buffet Balancing: We’ve all seen them — fellow passengers who make one pass through the buffet, piling their plates (one in each hand) so high that the food actually sways with the movement of the ship. It’s an art form, really. Competitors in this event start in separate areas of the buffet, each armed with two plates. At the ship’s horn, they have two minutes to pile as much food as possible onto their plates and race to the nearest table without spilling their spoils. The highest tower of food wins.
Elevator Races: This one isn’t just for the kids … but its outcome could certainly be affected by them. Competitors will start on the first passenger deck, an open elevator in front of each of them. The athlete to reach the top passenger deck (with elevator access) in the shortest amount of time comes out on top. The catch? You never know how many times your elevator will stop along the way, based on the number of folks waiting to go up — or an unruly child who presses all the buttons.
Towel Monkey Bowling: What happens when you combine your room steward’s creative terrycloth-folding abilities with shuffleboard? Uh, only one of the best fictitious events in imaginary history. Each participant starts at one end of the shuffleboard court with a shuffleboard cue and a puck. The goal is to knock over a group of five towel monkeys, positioned at the opposite end of the court, in as few tries as possible, using the given equipment.
Extreme Bingo: This one speaks for itself. Contenders will each be given 10 cards to monitor during the course of a regular game. The first person to yell bingo will have his or her cards checked (yes, all of them). If all cards have been properly maintained, that person will advance to the next round. The game will continue, and as players yell bingo and have not properly maintained all 10 of their cards, they will be eliminated. The number of cards per person will be increased in each subsequent round until only one person is left and declared the winner.
Now it’s your turn: Which events are missing in our Cruise Olymipcs? Be sure to share your thoughts in the comments section below.
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