We’re always hearing about the daft things passengers ask crewmembers onboard ships. Corkers like “Do the crew sleep onboard?” are great fodder for the cruise director’s comedy spot. “What time’s the midnight buffet?” is another one gleefully trotted out by crew when regaling others with tales of the stupidity of cruise passengers.
But these stories are always entertaining, even if it is we, the travelling public, who are the objects of fun. So we were amused to discover a few we hadn’t heard before in The Truth About Cruise Ships, a book written by former Carnival employee Jay Herring. One chapter in particular, “You won’t believe the things passengers do,” caught our eye.
Here are some of author’s favorites:
“Does this ship ever sink?”
“Is that seawater in the pool? That must be why there are so many waves on it.”
In the photo gallery: “How do we know which photos are ours if they don’t have our names on them?”
Call to reception: “I’m trapped in my cabin. One door leads to the bathroom and the other says ‘Do not disturb.’”
“Why does my stateroom attendant keep leaving packs of butter on my pillow?”
“What religion are those people with the patches behind their ears?” (This refers to the antihistamine patches a lot of Americans wear behind their ears to prevent seasickness.)
“If I fell overboard and nobody knew, would the ship still come back for me?”
“I opened my curtains and all I can see is a parking garage!” (Uttered when the ship is still in port.)
Cruise Critic members have plenty of their own; check out this message boards thread , where member Turtles06 tells a good anecdote: “I was on Norwegian Gem when we were diverted on our way back from Bermuda to New York to rescue five people from a sinking sailboat out in the Atlantic. A woman standing near me asked, in all seriousness, “So do we now take them where they were going?”
Do you have any good stories of cruisers saying the darndest things? Let us know in the comments.
Prefer the insane to the low-IQ? Check out these reader stories of crazy dining room tablemates.
So you think you’re smart? Take the Cruise IQ challenge.
Sign up for your own Lido Deck subscription.