Cruisin' for Pirates... Rogue's Gallery: Pirates Ballads, Sea Songs, and Chanteys Various
(From $7.83)
Avast(!), yar, etc. Conceived by Johnny Depp while he worked on the "Pirates of the Caribbean" series, a "Rogue's Gallery: Pirates Ballads, Sea Songs, and Chanteys" is a collection of songs about the hard, lonely life at sea. With an eclectic mix of performer and production styles, the irreverent compilation plays out like a pirate's life with a touch of distortion. Sometimes we're greeted by the drunken rogue, all gravelly shouts and vulgar lusting; sometimes it's a honey-voiced sea-balladeer pining for what was lost on land; and sometimes the poor, dejected soul has barely a voice left to get the lyrics out. Big name performers (Bono, Sting), popular singer-songwriters (Richard Thomson, Lucinda Williams) and a few surprise guests contribute cuts.
--by Dan Askin, Associate Editor
Cruisin' to the Caribbean ... Reggae Christmas Various
($9.98)
The holiday season leaves many feeling pretty blue -- but not to worry. Pop in a copy of Reggae Christmas, take a deep breath and let mellow bouncy, bouncy grooves transport you into the warm glow of a pink island sunset.
Eschewing the usual reggae subject matter -- revolution, the man, love, the healing power of herb -- Reggae Christmas focuses its rhythmic muscle on "Jah Yule." Steel pan accompanied "Jingle Bells" and "Drummer Boy" will have you smiling until your face hurts. And an irie (pronounced eye-reeh) take on "The Twelve Days of Christmas" will bring out the Rasta goodness in each of us. Pass the spirit-lifting album onto friends and loved ones. They'll thank you for it.
--by Dan Askin, Assistant Editor
Cruisin' to the Mediterranean ... Mediterranean: Gifts from the Sea PaulaWalla
($16.98)
I first discovered "destination music" while I was running through Philadelphia International Airport to catch a flight to Italy for a cruise to the Mediterranean. I'd forgotten CD's and thought National Geographic: Destination Mediterranean
would get me in the mood. As it turned out, I listened to the disc, which offers a melting pot of tunes -- from Spain and Algeria to Greece and Italy -- over and over. Sitting on my balcony and watching a Mediterranean sunset while listening to Spain's Emotions of a Gypsy was one indelible memory. And just as nice? Playing it post-cruise is better than a postcard.
--by Carolyn Spencer Brown, Editor
Cruisin' to South America ... Jazz Samba Charlie Byrd and Stan Getz
($14.99)
In 1961, the Kennedy administration invited guitarist Charlie Byrd to travel and play in Brazil as part of a cultural goodwill tour. It takes only a few seconds of the opening track, Desafinado, to fully understand how enchanted Byrd was with the music. When he returned to the U.S., he got in touch with the sax man known as "The Sound" (Stan Getz, so known because of his sound), and they went into the studio to record Jazz Samba. As a result of the album's popularity, scores of samba records flooded the marketplace. The great majority of them are trifling shells in comparison.
Each time I listen to Stan Getz's playing on Samba Triste, I become determined to dust off my sax and join him in a duet of sorts. Anyway, this record is a perfect introduction to Brazilian Samba, accessible, calming, melodious, dream-like ... After a boisterous night in South American port, Jazz Samba will serve as the perfect companion to a laidback balcony breakfast.
--by Dan Askin, Assistant Editor
Cruisin' to the U.K. or any former Element of the British Empire ... The Decline of British Sea Power British Sea Power
($11.98)
The Decline of British Sea Power
is not for everyone. Some might deem it "obnoxious sounding," but the noisy punk elements are interspersed with, you know, more hauntingly crystalline sections (cascading guitars, symphonic tympanis). And the lyrics are of an intellectual slant, complete with allusions to Dostoyevsky and Czech history (works in this case). If you want something less rough around the edges but equally fueled by passion, perhaps Jazz Samba (above) would be a better choice.
For me, British Sea Power captures the noble and resilient spirit of Great Britain that makes up the more storied aspect of their history. It's this shared attitude, that regardless of impending doom, bravery and compassion still exist. It might be a nice compliment to a nightcap following a formal dinner on a Queen Mary 2 trans-Atlantic crossing. Of course, the album is a metaphor, not a real plea to reclaim the lands that the British empire has lost over the past 100 years. The Decline of British Sea Power is instead encouraging the rediscovery of nobility in life. In other words, it may be difficult to overcome the tremendous fear that accompanies living, but there is certainly place for dignity, if you're courageous enough to take on the burden. Are you?
--by Dan Askin, Associate Editor
Cruisin' to the French Caribbean ... Putumayo Presents: French Caribbean Various
($15.98)
"Se Lah HEY Ya! Se Lah HEY Ya!" Can you feel the island rhythm?!
A delightful compilation of the music from the islands of Martinique, Haiti, Guadalupe and more, Putumayo Presents: French Caribbean is the perfect companion for your next Southern Caribbean cruise. The bouncy Afro-Caribbean flavors will put a spring in your step as you sing along in the melodious mishmash of Afro-Creole-French without having the slightest idea of what you're saying. If you don't feel like dancing along with the island music, perhaps you ... (fill in your own, i.e. "have no pulse").
Though the compilation is billed as "guaranteed to make you feel good" (and it does), there are also undertones of melancholy that accompany the springy rhythms. The penultimate song featured chanting of "FBI, DEA. What's going on? Bang, bang." A reminder, perhaps that with the beauty of the surroundings looms the constant specter of civil war and disharmony. This more mellow tone serves the disc well though, giving it another layer of depth beneath its infectious bounciness.
--by Dan Askin, Associate Editor
Cruisin' to Cuba ... Buena Vista Social Club Buena Vista Social Club
(From $10.97)
You may not be able to sail to Cuba on a U.S. cruise ship (try the U.K.'s Fred. Olsen), but listening to the music certainly isn't embargoed -- and the Buena Vista Social Club is a fine place to start. Master slide guitar and mandolin man cum world music connoisseur Ry Cooder recorded these sessions in 1996 with Cuban musicians past and present (some, like 89-year-old Compay Segundo, very past). The result is evocative of a pre-Castro Havana party from the 1940's or 50's, all open-collared shirts, sundresses and sweat. Recorded live, the songs are haunting, and it seems like the seasoned musicians are ghosts, come from the past to perform these classic Cuban story songs one last time. Fortunately, they recorded a CD for posterity.
You can almost feel the breeze coming through the open windows of the dance hall.
--by Dan Askin, Associate Editor
Cruisin' to Another Planet ... Lanquidity Sun Ra
($16.98)
By all measure of character, Sun Ra should be considered a parody. He wore elaborate "space" costumes and seemed to live by a mythology of his own invention, a blend of bizarre ancient dogma with elements of Star Trek (he predates Star Trek) and H.G. Wells. Persona aside, the music transports you -- a fitting choice if you're on a cruise and would rather be somewhere else. Lanquidity is trance-inducing, in a good way.
Each track is a liquidy blend of Ra's jabbing, off-kilter keyboard playing, along with some horn orchestration, and a ripping overdriven guitar. A hypnotic rhythm section provides foundation, albeit just behind the beat. The final track features a creepy spoken word element. If you decide to listen to this track, prepare to be weirded out a little.
--by Dan Askin, Associate Editor
Holiday Movie Picks
Cruise Inc: Big Money on the High Seas
($19.99)
So how exactly do players in the $30-billion-plus cruise industry turn a profit? By selling cruise cabins to start -- then by enticing passengers onboard to buy booze, throw down in the casino and snap up shore excursions. Simple, right? But do you know exactly how much revenue each department must generate just to break even? Travel expert Peter Greenberg does an incredible job crunching the numbers in the made-for-TV documentary "Cruise Inc: Big Money on the High Seas."
A must-watch for any cruise ship fan who's considered their impact on the red and black, the documentary takes us aboard NCL's Norwegian Pearl for a week of unfettered access, revealing insights like the dollar amount each passenger must spend per day for the bar to break even ($7.25 per day on sodas, bottled water, booze), how much money visitors bring to tourism-dependent ports (Belize official believe it's $87 per person, per visit), and how bad weather and low beer inventory can take a bite out of the bottom line.
--by Dan Askin, Associate Editor
Under Siege
(From $7.99)
On a pleasure cruise of sorts -- the celebratory final commissioned voyage of a retiring US battleship -- everything is about go to hell. Psychopaths William Stranix (Tommy Lee Jones), who finagles his way onboard by posing as an entertainer, and a corrupt inside man, Comrade Krill (Gary Busey), take over the ship and its nuclear stockpile (don't worry about why). Obviously the bad guys didn't do their homework, because Steven Seagal (Ryback) is onboard, playing a former high level Navy Seal -- an expert in weapons and counter-terrorism -- who's been remanded to a cooking job for punching an officer. And he's a good cook, too. He makes an excellent bouillabaisse.
This is Steven Seagall at his finest -- wooden line execution, equally emotion-free face as he breaks limbs, engages in one-against-100 firefights, builds bombs, etc. "I'm just a cook," he says with a wink. Under Siege makes a great stocking stuffer.
--by Dan Askin, Associate Editor
The Poseidon Adventure (1972)
(From $5.80)
Before James Cameron's Titanic, with its epic, computer-aided ship flipping, there was The Poseidon Adventure, the 1972 disaster movie starring Gene Hackman as rebel priest turned hero. All is well on New Year's Eve aboard the SS Poseidon, a classic ocean liner on its farewell voyage before it heads to the scrap yard. But as we listen to Maureen McGovern's plaintive strains of "The Morning After," it's clear that something is about to go terribly wrong. Moments after "Auld Lang Syne," an undersea quake sends a massive wave hurling toward the luxury vessel. In a startling display of pre-CGI special effects, the ship capsizes, and the journey "up" to the hull -- led by the urging and combative Reverend Scott -- begins. Besides the effects and the threat of rushing water, the snappy, cracker jack dialogue and strong performances from Shelly Winters, Ernest Borgnine and Hackman keep the movie surging along. Only a handful will be strong enough to survive.
Classic cruise ship aficionados may recognize the setting. Parts of the movie were filmed aboard the Queen Mary, which is now a floating hotel docked in Long Beach, California.
--by Dan Askin, Associate Editor
Death on the Nile
($9.98)
Belgian detective par excellence Hercule Poirot is on a much needed vacation, a Nile River pleasure cruise aboard the elegant SS Karnak. It's all relaxation, sightseeing and engaging in highbrow conversational conviviality ... until his Egypt vacation plans go to hell when Linnet Ridgeway Doyle, an attractive, young heiress, winds up shot in the head. All Poirot wanted was to enjoy the Pyramids, Sphinx and Karnak -- pictured throughout -- but no worry, his duty is to the case.
Every passenger has a reason to have committed the crime -- Linnet stole her best friend's finance; others want her "jewels" -- and no one is above suspicion (except Poirot of course).
A follow up to Agatha Christie's Murder on the Orient Express, Death on the Nile will have all but the most intelligent viewers guessing whodunit until the very end. The star-studded cast includes Peter Ustinov, Bette Davis, David Niven, Angela Lansbury, Maggie Smith, Mia Farrow, George Kennedy, Olivia Hussey, Simon MacCorkindale, Jane Birkin, Jack Warden and Lois Chiles.
--by Dan Askin, Associate Editor
Speed 2: Cruise Control
(From $12.99)
"It almost seems too perfect," Annie (Sandra Bullock) whispers in Alex's (Jason Patric) ear as the two slow dance during a Bahamas cruise on Seabourn Legend.
Meanwhile, disgruntled ex-cruise employee John (Willem Dafoe) has hacked into the ship's main computer and taken over the navigation system ... and he's put the vessel on a collision course with a supertanker!
If you loved the first Speed, you'll love the second. I'm not entirely sure I can stand behind that statement -- but while
Speed 2: Cruise Control is often derided as a real "stinker" and "atrocious," we take a different view. Dialogue sparkles ("It can't be an earthquake, we're at sea!"), propellers make mince meat out of people, explosions send glass and flame everywhere, and Willem Dafoe hams up the psycho roll, contorting his face to reflect his twisted rage.
The grand finale, one of the most destructive film endings ever, is a marvel to witness. The final scene alone was said to cost more than the entire filming of the original Speed.
And if that doesn't appeal, well, it is a movie about a cruise.
--by Dan Askin, Associate Editor
Pirates of the Caribbean -- The Curse of The Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
(from $14.99)
Ok, so maybe we're stretching it a bit with Pirates of the Caribbean, as it doesn't actually take place onboard a modern cruise ship ... but the ol' ship in this movie, The Black Pearl, is a major character on and off screen in this Disney ride-turned-blockbuster-hit. Let's face it -- without the boat there'd be no pirates, no action, no adventure. With the help of Captain -- and pirate -- Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) must save Elizabeth (Keira Knightley) from the seas' worst pirates, and in return, Will must help Jack recover his fortune and ultimately, The Black Pearl. With one sequel that already hit the big screen and another currently in production, this a must-have stocking stuffer for the "kid" in your family.
--by Erica Sapio
Poseidon (Two-Disc Special Edition)
(from $23.99)
A remake of the classic Poseidon Adventure starring Gene Hackman (that one makes a great gift too: click here to buy the original), 2006's Poseidon is an explosive thriller about the eternal struggle between Man and Nature. On a New Year's Eve cruise, in the midst of joyous celebration, a massive rogue wave unexpectedly hammers the MS Poseidon, flipping the ship completely upside down. After the initial damage kills all but a few choice survivors, the remaining passengers must deal with a frightening new reality. Thus starts a frantic race to the only route of escape: climbing to the top of the ship (actually the bottom). Will they get out?
Although the movie is unlikely to have the same effect as say, Jaws did on swimming or Alien did on space travel, it may be enough to give cruisers pause. Conversely it also serves as a how-to film of sorts, if one should find such a hypothetical materializing. Happy cruising!
--by Dan Askin, Associate Editor
Titanic
($13.49)
Okay, so sue me if this sounds like a gift-cliche. But here's the thing. Titanic is the most romantic cruise movie ever! At least the first half (I tend to turn it off after the intermission cause I'm in it for the love). And a lot of us haven't yet upgraded our collections from video to DVD. And Titanic (10th Anniversary Edition) has a lot of nifty extras, including commentary by the filmmaker, never-before-seen footage and an alternate ending. So it's a good time to take a new look at this disaster classic.
--by Carolyn Spencer Brown, Editor in Chief
Out to Sea
($9.98)
Admit it -- any movie starring Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon is reason enough to settle in for a night on the couch. In most of our favorite cruise movies, soul mates have magically met and fell in love. But, in Out to Sea, Charlie (Matthau) and his widower brother-in-law Herb (Lemmon) take an all-expenses-paid luxury cruise with a get-rich-quick scheme in mind. The catch for such a prize? They must become dance hosts onboard the ship ... and their plan includes nothing more than swindling the ol' widows onboard right out of their dancing shoes! It's not Grumpy Old Men, but we still loved the comedy of errors throughout their voyage -- including run-ins with the ship's cruel cruise director and when Herb must teach Charlie how to dance.
--by Erica Sapio
Peter Knego's "On the Road to Alang" ($30)
If you can't buy your favorite ship enthusiast a piece of a classic cruise ship rescued by ocean liner historian Peter Knego, this DVD is the next best thing. It shows passenger ships being broken up at Alang, India; the sales yards where their fittings are sold; and it then follows some of those fittings to Knego's home in California where some will enter his private collection and others will be sold to other collectors.
--by Doug Newman, Contributor
An Affair to Remember
($10.49)
I took my first cruise for my honeymoon and discovered first-hand how magical its ambience can be. But it begs the question: how does it affect two strangers who meet onboard? If you haven't heard how and where our editor Carolyn Spencer Brown met her husband, do the next best thing ... buy An Affair to Remember. Starring Carey Grant and Terry McKay as Nicky Ferrante and Terry McKay, the two strangers meet onboard a trans-Atlantic cruise from Europe to New York, and more than just good cruise food is shared between the two. Despite their involvement with their significant others, they promise to meet in six months at the Empire State Building, but an accident keeps Terry from meeting Nicky. Whether or not they finally meet I will not share, but what I will say is that this is a classic cruise love story that never gets old.
--by Erica Sapio
Overboard
($9.99)
Unlike most of the sea flicks on my list where two strangers meet and fall in love onboard a cruise ship, Overboard takes us in a slightly different direction. Joanna (Goldie Hawn) hires Dean Proffitt (Kurt Russell) to make a closet in her yacht's bedroom. After the two do not get along, Dean finds himself overboard without payment. In a fit of irony, Joanna later falls off the boat as well, hits her head and loses her memory. Dean sees her memory loss as his gain ... and introduces her to his family as his "wife" Annie. (His grand scheme includes Joanna as a free housekeeper and mother to his four sons.) Joanna's boat may have brought them together, caused a rift between them and brought them back together once again -- even if it is under false pretenses -- but will it keep them together if/when Joanna gets her memory back?
Although it is a television repeat offender, Overboard makes a great stocking stuffer for fans -- and that one person on your list who hasn't yet seen it -- alike.
--by Erica Sapio
The Parent Trap (1998)
($9.99)
The original The Parent Trap has always been one of my all-time favorite films. So when Disney remade the classic 1960's story with a 1990's feel, you can understand my apprehension to see it. Yet, like most Disney movies, I came out of the theater in love -- with the new storyline and with Queen Elizabeth 2's supporting role in helping the two "parents" get together in the first place. Like "An Affair to Remember," Nick Parker and Elizabeth James meet and fall in love onboard a trans-Atlantic cruise from England to New York and wind up married and pregnant with twins! As the onboard romance becomes not-so-romantic offshore, each parent decides to raise one of the twins at opposite ends of the world. After 12 years not knowing each other exists, the twins meet up at summer camp, discover they are sisters, and plot to get their parents back together, just like the original version. Will the QE2 be part of their possible rekindled romance?
--by Erica Sapio
Vacations On Video DVD Collection
($19.95 each)
Know someone planning a cruise to the Caribbean? Hawaii? South America? After recommending Cruise Critic (of course) for all of their online research, bring the destination to life on the big screen -- their TV screen that is. Vacations On Video has been producing cruise and destination videos for 22 years, and offers a dozen DVD's on cruise regions from Alaska to Western Europe, with new titles in the works. The videos range from just over an hour to nearly two hours, and highlight the top attractions, excursions and activities in popular cruise ports. The New England & Canada video, for example, explores Bar Harbor, Boston, Halifax, Martha's Vineyard, Quebec City and more.
--by Melissa Baldwin, Senior Editor
All Aboard! Rosie's Family Cruise
($14.99)
So this wasn't a blockbuster hit like some of the other major players on our list. But that shouldn't stop anyone from appreciating this HBO documentary on gay family cruising. In All Aboard! Rosie's Family Cruise, Rosie O'Donnell, her partner and children, plus 500 gay families sail from New York to the Bahamas onboard Norwegian Dawn -- with Big Brother watching. What these cameras catch is nothing but families enjoying their vacation ... celebrating their diversity, judgment free. For a deeper insight into their lives, specific passengers are profiled along their seven-night journey. Among them? NFL star Esera Tuaolo and his twins, a gay couple who adopted five children, an older couple on the cusp of empty nest as their daughter prepares for college, and more.
